current state of mind: patient
And then he turned and said to me
Your eyes are green, like summer grass
Your lips are red, like a fresh cut rose
Your hair is soft, like an Irish stream
And your voice is filled with sweet beauty
~ ‘Christmas Day’ by Dido
There are
days when life is just hard; days when nothing redeeming occurs to make the “hardness”
seem worthwhile.
While
watching “Frontier House” last week . . . yes, THAT Frontier House. No, they
have not made new ones. They are just “new to you” on the DIY network. Thank
you, cable television, for bringing this sweet beauty back to prime time. Now, may I continue please? Thanks . . . So,
while watching “Frontier House” last week, the “settlers” were taking to the
trail so they could move their wagons to their new homesteads in Montana. One
of the young boys on the show was being interviewed and he explained how it had
been the worst day of his life. He then
recounted how the wagon he was riding in collapsed when the horses got spooked
and he was sent tumbling onto the prairie, narrowly being missed by the horseless
wagon. He then lost the worm and hook from his fishing stick. To make matters
worse, a “wild dog”, belonging to one of the other families, attacked him. He
was sure that he would be a bloody mess; but luckily what felt like “flesh
tearing wounds” were really just light bruises from the pressure of the dog’s
mouth. Still, to an 8 year old boy, that
likely was the worst day of his life – especially when you consider he was
wearing authentic style clothing and looked like a goom-bah! I sincerely doubt that he felt the day
provided him with any balance to the horrors he experienced.
When K-Shrub
was in high school, she also had one of those days. The details of the story have been lost over
time – but the end result has never wavered.
It was the worst day of her life up to that point. And while I remember laughing uncontrollably
at all the horrible things she described to me that day, it was indeed horrid
and I wish as much now as I did then that I could have protected her from that
pain. She had another “worst day of her
life” in May of 2009 – and once again, I was not able to do anything but
listen. The damage had already been done before I was invited into the
story.
It seems
unfair that when we have hard days, we feel so alone. Our friends and family want to help, to bring
a smile to our face, something . . . yet, there is so very little they can do.
Sometimes their desire to help makes us feel worse, knowing that no matter what
they say, we are still going to feel as if we were dragged face down across
artificial turf.
Once in a
while, however, there is a friend who can provide exactly what you need at the
right moment. Today, I had such a friend.
He was able to provide something that none of my other friends could have – a genuine
Irish lilt from across the pond. While Ireland is famous for its rainy days, it
is just as famous for its citizens’ amazing accent. Therefore, when my phone
rang today and I saw the incoming number, I felt my spirits lift a little. Our five minute conversation was precisely
the respite I needed to pull me away from the ledge which always seems to
appear right as life begins spiraling outside of our control. I will also do my
best to follow his simple advice: “Then
relax and await bliss again.”
“Then relax
and await bliss again.” -- He’s right;
you know. I’m always in such a rush to
fix things and sometimes I need to let go and trust that bliss is not far
ahead, since it isn’t far behind me, and life is just one circular Caucus-race
like in Alice and Wonderland.
PERSONAL NOTE: Looking forward to the reception! Congratulations again.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Drive
safely to watch your baby girl graduate from high school! I love you!
