current state of mind: patient
And then he turned and said to me
Your eyes are green, like summer grass
Your lips are red, like a fresh cut rose
Your hair is soft, like an Irish stream
And your voice is filled with sweet beauty
~ ‘Christmas Day’ by Dido
There are days when life is just hard; days when nothing redeeming occurs to make the “hardness” seem worthwhile.
While watching “Frontier House” last week . . . yes, THAT Frontier House. No, they have not made new ones. They are just “new to you” on the DIY network. Thank you, cable television, for bringing this sweet beauty back to prime time. Now, may I continue please? Thanks . . . So, while watching “Frontier House” last week, the “settlers” were taking to the trail so they could move their wagons to their new homesteads in Montana. One of the young boys on the show was being interviewed and he explained how it had been the worst day of his life. He then recounted how the wagon he was riding in collapsed when the horses got spooked and he was sent tumbling onto the prairie, narrowly being missed by the horseless wagon. He then lost the worm and hook from his fishing stick. To make matters worse, a “wild dog”, belonging to one of the other families, attacked him. He was sure that he would be a bloody mess; but luckily what felt like “flesh tearing wounds” were really just light bruises from the pressure of the dog’s mouth. Still, to an 8 year old boy, that likely was the worst day of his life – especially when you consider he was wearing authentic style clothing and looked like a goom-bah! I sincerely doubt that he felt the day provided him with any balance to the horrors he experienced.
When K-Shrub was in high school, she also had one of those days. The details of the story have been lost over time – but the end result has never wavered. It was the worst day of her life up to that point. And while I remember laughing uncontrollably at all the horrible things she described to me that day, it was indeed horrid and I wish as much now as I did then that I could have protected her from that pain. She had another “worst day of her life” in May of 2009 – and once again, I was not able to do anything but listen. The damage had already been done before I was invited into the story.
It seems unfair that when we have hard days, we feel so alone. Our friends and family want to help, to bring a smile to our face, something . . . yet, there is so very little they can do. Sometimes their desire to help makes us feel worse, knowing that no matter what they say, we are still going to feel as if we were dragged face down across artificial turf.
Once in a while, however, there is a friend who can provide exactly what you need at the right moment. Today, I had such a friend. He was able to provide something that none of my other friends could have – a genuine Irish lilt from across the pond. While Ireland is famous for its rainy days, it is just as famous for its citizens’ amazing accent. Therefore, when my phone rang today and I saw the incoming number, I felt my spirits lift a little. Our five minute conversation was precisely the respite I needed to pull me away from the ledge which always seems to appear right as life begins spiraling outside of our control. I will also do my best to follow his simple advice: “Then relax and await bliss again.”
“Then relax and await bliss again.” -- He’s right; you know. I’m always in such a rush to fix things and sometimes I need to let go and trust that bliss is not far ahead, since it isn’t far behind me, and life is just one circular Caucus-race like in Alice and Wonderland.
PERSONAL NOTE: Looking forward to the reception! Congratulations again.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Drive safely to watch your baby girl graduate from high school! I love you!