28 January 2009

Who Needs Sleep?

Current Mood: Giggly

Turn off the lights
And turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves
Make up for the silence
~ “Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” by Fall Out Boy

Last weekend, while in Fort Worth, ‘Becks’ and I were discussing possible money-making schemes, including a genius application for the iPhone which would require the solving of logic puzzles or simple math problems before being able to send out texts or make phone calls. This would, of course, be an inhibitor for those with a tendency to want to communicate while intoxicated.

Please Note: This is OUR idea. If you steal it, you will be found, drawn, quartered, and burned at the stake. Then, as a warning to others, your head will be placed on a stake and displayed by Traitor’s Gate on the River Thames. . . (Wait, I think I may be confusing copyright infringement with treason and heresy . . . oh who cares . . . let the punishment fit the crime . . . stealing our intellectual property IS treason and possibly heresy . . . burn, baby, burn!!!!)

While ridding the world of “drunk texting” and “drunk dialing” is a lofty goal, it seems, based on recent events, that stopping “sleep texting” would also be an important benefit of this amazing application. Those who know me well know that I don’t have the healthiest sleeping patterns. Some nights I cannot fall asleep at all, while on others, I fall asleep, only to awaken for no reason before the sun rises, leaving me disoriented and amnesiac. My pre-dawn shenanigans this morning are clear illustrations of why we needed this new technology yesterday! It all began with a text notification ‘beep’.
Text from BC @ 4:33am: What is a trigru?

Me @ 4:34am: A What? I have no idea. Can you use it in a sentence?
Me @ 4:34am: Where did you see it used?

Text from BC @ 4:36am: In the ‘I just woke up’ text you sent me.

Me @ 4:37am: Oh

Text from BC @ 4:42am: Lol. So whatcha mean?

Me @ 4:43am: Is that a yes?

Text from BC @ 4:45am: Lol. . . I still don’t know what a trigru is. And I can’t lend something unless I know what it is.
Text from BC @ 4:52am: Lol. . . this is the most bizarre conversation ever. You must be sleep texting.


When I woke up this morning, Gracie was sound asleep on top of my phone. When she moved, I saw that there were text messages. To clear up the confusion, I reviewed the entire exchange. I found these two that I initiated in the wee hours of the morning:

Me @ 4:30am: Just woke up from a weird dream. . . may I borrow a trigru or something for my trip?
Me @ 4:32am: That may be pushing my luck. Rawr.


While I would like to pretend that this was a one time occurrence and that normally all of my text message exchanges which take place between the hours of 11pm and 7am make complete sense. However, even when taken in context, they tend to lean a little in the “what in the hell is she talking about?” direction. This is precisely why ‘Becks’ and I will be millionaires in 12 – 18 months. I cannot possibly be the only human with this problem.

After I relayed this story to my friend, ‘Kate’, she took it upon herself to kindly look up the meaning of ‘trigru’ for me online:
No results found for trigru:
Did you mean trig ru (in dictionary) or Tigri (in reference)?
Oh well. If anyone has a trigru I can borrow, please let me know. I leave in 2 days!

PERSONAL NOTE: Sorry your apartment smells like an old Indian Fire Lodge. Have you considered requiring your neighbor’s renter’s insurance to cover the clean-up fees?

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Blathering eejits ARE cute, aren’t they?

27 January 2009

My Boyfriend is Single

Current Mood: Hopeful

Let me preface by saying that I realize he is young; but that shouldn’t be a deterrent when it comes to romance. I mean, look at Demi and Ashton; or the guy who plays Sayeed on Lost and his real-life woman. We could even go as far back as the marriage between Catherine of Aragon and Henry VIII – though in the end, he ditched her for a younger woman (whom he then beheaded, so perhaps he should have remained with the first wife).

Now I realize my chances of marrying the guy are slim (okay, they are actually 0%), and I think he is required to marry eventually – though maybe not; I mean there are other males in the family to keep the blood line going. And there is no indication that he wants his dad’s job anyway. That seems to be an awful lot of responsibility.

Anyway, I will do my best to win him over – though stalking is out of the question. I need to come up with a viable plan. If you have ideas, let me know, please.

Hugs and Kisses to you, Harry! You didn’t need that heiress anyway!!!

It’s Complicated

Current Mood: Content

All you do makes me feel alive
Like I’m flying through
Starry skies, multiplied over and over again, a million times
You you you yeah yeah yeah
This is turning into the best day that I’ve had
~ “You You You” by All Star United

Someone stole my Mountain Dew from the refrigerator at work. It was in my lunch bag (which happens to be a torn plastic Devil-Mart sack) but still, that doesn’t grant the rights to my Mountain Dew to anyone who comes along. For the love of Pete, the cans of Mt. Dew in the vending machine only cost a quarter . . . is it necessary to steal MINE? And the person who stole it is obviously a junk food addict – because they ONLY stole the Mountain Dew. They did not take any yogurt or cheese. Who does this??? To make matters worse, I couldn’t even purchase a new Mountain Dew because the vending machine was SOLD OUT! And it actually was sold out; unlike the vending machine in the main break room that says it’s sold out, when you can clearly see that all 3 rows of Mountain Dew are still full. Why do the Dew gods hate me so???

I want to walk around and find the culprit. Once discovered, they would get a beat down! Rawr!

*deep breathing exercises*

Alright, I am calm now. The anger over the stolen can of soda has dissipated. I am thinking happy thoughts . . . very happy thoughts! Actually, these thoughts are a little too happy for the office. . . I need to tone them down a bit.

So, the Slipknot concert was in town two nights ago. I am not a big Slipknot fan. In fact, I am not even a small Slipknot fan. To be perfectly honest, they scare me – A LOT! What I did not realize is that there are Slipknot fans everywhere, and they don’t all wear scary masks and eat human flesh – though I am sure a large portion of them do. Yesterday, 3 different people mentioned being at the show on Sunday night. It is rather ironic that the show was on the Sabbath. I wonder if that was planned. No matter. The fact is that the show was crazy – someone died (which I believe happens at every Slipknot concert) and everyone I know who went was tired and a little hard of hearing yesterday, even the Concession Stand worker at the movie theatre. I am not sure why the Concession stand worker volunteered that he was at Slipknot he night before – but he was darn proud of the fact.

‘Valkyrie’ is the movie we went to see. (We, as in my date and I, not the concession stand worker and I). In true dorky form, I had already watched the Valkyrie documentary this past weekend on the History Channel, so I knew the whole story in advance. **Spoiler Alert – they don’t kill Hitler in the July 20, 1944 assassination attempt. ** Overall, the movie was good. The story, however, is a GREAT one, and I am excited to read a book on the topic.

I definitely need more sleep.

PERSONAL NOTE TO THE MOUNTAIN DEW THIEF: I will find you. Be afraid, be very afraid.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: It is far less complicated than the status leads on. Thank you for that.

21 January 2009

I Know I Sound Like I’m On Drugs – Listen to Me When I Say. . .

Current Mood: Uncomfortable

I hope that you don’t die --Because that would really suck a lot
And I should write a book about the biggest scam there was in love
Title it the “Book of Us”-- We could split the movie rights
Nooooooooooo! I’m keeping the movie rights
~ “Not a Love Song” by Bowling for Soup

So, an interesting request was asked of me today. ‘Angel’ asked me to provide several descriptive words that my friends would use to describe me. I truly didn’t know how my friends would describe me; so I decided to ask them. In order of responses, here are the results:


I provided ‘Angel’ with this information. It was like putting the words into a combine, because he rapidly responded with the following:

“So a bit of an idealistic perfectionist who keeps her cards close to her chest and then acts probably in a calculated way but out the blue”

I then went back to each friend who had responded and provided them with this summation. Based on additional feedback, the analysis would appear to be quite accurate. It was noted by more than one person, however, that I must have reasonably intelligent friends because some of those words may have to be looked up in a dictionary for complete comprehension. I will save the mystery and word hunt for those of you who care – but, I do have to share the definition of Quixotic that was provided by ‘Scone Chef’:

– “Quixotism is usually related to "over-idealism", meaning an idealism that doesn't take consequence or absurdity into account. It is also related to naïve romanticism and to utopianism and the word derives from Don Quixote, Man of la Mancha . . . and it is an absolute KILLER scrabble word” –

I love the Don Quixote story. Granted, it is about a senile old man who hallucinates, falls in love with much younger women, and hangs out with a guy named Sancho Panza. It is also one of the greatest literary works of all time, completely changing the world of fiction forever. I have read it – in Spanish (and then again in English). I have also seen a film version. I know there are a thousand allegorical and social commentaries within the novel; but I just like the basic premise of the story. It’s similar to my endearment toward Alice in Wonderland and Gulliver’s Travels. I don’t want to think about the underlying political/religious/ social meaning behind the words and characters. I just enjoy the imagery. And in the end, all books are about one thing, the search for the Holy Grail -- maybe not the Christian interpretation of the Holy Grail – but the quest for being a part of something greater than ourselves. And there is absolutely NOTHING shameful in that.

PUBLIC NOTE: Before I go I would like to take an informal poll if I may. Which is quoted more often: The Princess Bride OR Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail? I heard a pretty controversial statement today which prompted me to seek public opinion.

Your morning text messages make me smile. Thank you.

20 January 2009

His Heart Exploded Words

Current Mood: Museless!

I don’t give a damn, I’m happy as a clam
Nobody knows me at all
Ah, what can you do? There’s nobody like you
Nobody knows me at all
` “Nobody knows me At All” by the Weepies

I want to be a Muse; and not just any muse mind you. I want to be one of the nine Canonical Muses. Actually, I want to be two of them – but I think that is being a tad greedy – so I will settle for only being one. Besides being a descendent of the gods, they are pretty damn fine. Seriously, they are water nymphs. Everyone thinks water nymphs are hot! Everyone!

So, I either want to be Calliope, who is the chief of the Muses AND the Muse of epic and heroic poetry. Her name means ‘beautiful of speech'; or I want to be Clio, ‘glorious one’, the muse of History. With my educational background and natural talent, I could fulfill either role with precision.

Why should my existence not inspire mere mortals to create artistic masterpieces?

While I am thinking about; I find that I also need a Muse of my own. Is it possible for a Muse to have a Muse? I hope so, because I have not been inspired to write much, lately. I mean, I have a novel to finish – yet, don’t even have the inspiration to even pull it up on the laptop and read over it. I was supposed to use November to finish it. I didn’t. Grrrrrr. How does one go almost a year without writing one word in a manuscript that used to be a daily focus? It isn’t that I don’t have the stomach for the storyline. I happen to like thinking about serial killers and torture and redemption. I just cannot seem to write about it right now.

While in Texas, I spent some time with SCG (Secret Crush Girl). It is always so much fun to hang out with her and her family. She is such a dear friend and I miss her every single day. When I lived in town, she was always available for moral support, to go to a chick flick, or just to sit and chat with while eating an ice cream sundae. Now, she is still available for these things, but we are not close enough in distance to get together on a regular basis.

I am writing this on my lunch break – because I am now eating every 3 hours – and I take lunch in between eating times. Very silly, I know. I could rearrange my lunch time – or I could rearrange my “every 3 hours” to coincide with lunch; instead, I prefer to suffer through the ridiculousness of an inconvenient self-appointed lunch schedule. That’s just how I roll!

Oh, before I forget, a woman at work called me cold-blooded today. She was referring to the fact that I wrap myself up in a blanket and wear mittens in the office – because it is so damn cold. Luckily for her, I knew what she meant – because my ninja skills come out when someone implies that I am emotionally cold. Actually, no ninja skills come out. That was a fabrication (aka a lie). I don’t actually take offence when people say I am emotionally cold. I smile and say, “Thank you for noticing!” You see, it’s not easy being an emotional void; and it’s even more difficult to project the image of one. Lately, I have been failing miserably at being cold and emotionally evasive. I guess being content with life has that effect.

PERSONAL NOTE: Um, we have a new president now.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: How much longer do I have to maintain the confidentiality agreement?

There’s Nothing Wrong With Ohio

Current Mood: No longer in Texas

Give up, you're not going anywhere
Moonlight, illuminates your stare
And it's great, captivating you
Does that trouble you?
I didn't mean to trouble you
~ “Live Again” by Better than Ezra

I cannot wear socks to bed. I don’t know why; but I have never been able to do so. Sometimes my feet are really cold and I put socks on – but when I awaken in the morning, they are off my feet and tangled in the sheets. This is the primary reason why this winter I have been wearing feetsie pajamas at night. I cannot kick the foot covers off. I suppose I could theoretically unzip the pajamas, climb out of them, and uncover my feet – but I am not that dexterous in my sleep. Thus far, this has not occurred.

I am not complaining!

A line from a song is stuck in my head right now. “If I see you in a hundred years and you still love me, I will try; I will try again, though I know you and I won’t be.” It’s the song “We Won’t Be” by Zack Hexum. I love the song, not only because it was written by Zack, but also because it is an insightful social commentary regarding the ending of many relationships. Sometimes they just end. There is no big fight or emotional crisis; instead, a series of very small minute cracks eventually wear the foundation down to the point that everything collapses upon itself.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend regarding the ending of my two marriages. He was curious and asked some poignant questions about the beginning and end of each. I don’t often reflect on my two most public failures. I suppose it’s because I have found that there is nothing left to analyze. I have gone over both relationships so many times in my head that I am not sure there is much more to learn. After saying that, I do want to point out that this weekend I spent some public time with Ex #2 and his fiancée. It was while I was in Texas, spending time with the twins. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t awkward. I did not feel any regret or jealousy or sadness. I was genuinely happy that they appeared to be content with one another. You see, their happiness equates to a happy household which equates to a healthy environment for the kids. And in the end, they are the ones who matter.

Speaking of being in Tejas, I also had the honor of attending a Happy Hour while I was there. I had a lot of fun and even socialized with some new people, which is always an adventure (for them, not me). I know what I am like when I am drinking A LOT and to the uninitiated, I can be a little difficult to process. Hell, to my veteran drinking buddies, I can be a little difficult to handle as well. And I know that on Friday I was convinced that I could dance – which is NEVER GOOD!

PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you for picking me up at the airport. And thank you for wearing THAT shirt.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Truly hope to see y’all in June – here in Omaha!

15 January 2009

Eye of the Beholder

Current Mood: Pretty Damn Tired

I saw your face
In a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
Cause I'll never be with you
~ “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt

WARNING! This posting ends rather abruptly. Lost my train of thought and never found the station again.

What I hate most about moving is that I ALWAYS misplace my jewelry. ALWAYS! I have moved several times and each time I have lost or misplaced a large chunk of my jewelry collection. This time around, I have misplaced my entire jewelry box. I am sure it is in a box somewhere – though I have no idea where that somewhere may be. I misplaced one diamond earring in a move; then the next move lost the other one. I currently am unable to locate my good watch; but the other day I did find a watch that I had misplaced over a year ago. This gives me hope for the future. I suppose opening boxes is like a treasure hunt; if I give it a positive spin.

Tonight, I am going to board an airplane and sleep until we land in Texas. I am an airplane sleeper. As long as the plane doesn’t start bouncing around like a rubber ball (which happened on the way to Florida last week) I will be asleep before takeoff and not awaken until the doors of the plane are open again. I have a neck pillow which enables me to rest without having to hold my head up. The pillow is ultra-comfortable and decorated like the Texas flag. It makes me happy!

Now, if I could just learn how to be a ninja, I would be unstoppable!


You are the most amazing marshmallow ever!

14 January 2009

Little Miss Sunshine is Frozen

Current Mood: Amused and Adored

you were meant to live large
come on take charge
let's go light the world up
let's not wait until the end
to be the things we wish we'd been
~ “Super Trouper” by Superchic(k)

I was running late when I woke up early this morning. Now, when I say ‘early’ – I mean earlier than usual. When I say ‘running late’ – I actually mean that I was supposed to leave the house by 6am for a breakfast date. Luckily for me, the person I was meeting had his own ‘comedy of errors’ this morning, so me arriving late actually could still be considered early since he was running even later than me. Thank goodness neither of us are jerks – or else our fun breakfast at iHop could have become our last breakfast ever, as he is one hell of a shot and I am an opponent of the death penalty; but a proponent of torture for accountability.

Did you notice that I wrote iHop in the same manner that Apple writes iPod? It’s become a habit - capitalize the second letter of a word, instead of the first. It’s a silly habit, to be sure, yet one that has become a comfort in my old age. Technology is advancing so quickly that sometimes I still say “walkman” instead of iPod. Seriously, does anyone even own a “Sony Walkman” any more? I am not talking about the “Sony Discman” (which is also prehistoric – but can still be found on eBay and in some Pawn shops). I have a bunch of unlabled cassette tapes which need to be reviewed and possibly buried in a time capsule along with a yearbook picture from 10th grade AND my incessant use of the word “awesome” (unless it is stated in an Eric Cartman-like manner).

Speaking of 10th grade, what a year for music that was. Nirvana’s 'Nevermind', went #1 – putting Seattle on the map of ‘coolest places to live’, the Beastie Boys released Check Your Head, House of Pain, Kriss Kross, and Marky Mark ’rapped’ their way into the lives of teenage girls everywhere. Interestingly, three bands I saw this past October, REM, (Automatic for the People) NIN (Broken), and STP (Core) all had PRIME commercial success with the albums they released!!!

Good God. . . time has flown by! And one honest friend was sweet enough to point out today that life is all downhill after 30. hee hee

Looking forward to seeing you on Friday!

‘He Just Isn’t Into You’ – but I am. LOL

13 January 2009

The Way You Gotta Gotta Live Your Life

Current Mood: Insatiable

Don't even talk about the consequence
'Cause right now you’re the only thing that's making any sense to me
And I don't give a damn what they say or what they think
'Cause your the only one who’s on my mind
~ “Untouched” by the Veronicas

I have this lovely book at my desk titled “100 SMALL COMFORTS”. It’s a tiny little book; the kind you pick up while in line at the bookstore, because it’s there, tempting you with it’s petite form and cheap price. The full title is “100 SMALL COMFORTS: Wise and Witty Words to Lift the Spirit”.

One of my favourite E.M. Forster quotes is in it:

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

It’s a basic truth of life. I am learning, slowly, that letting go is far easier than one initially believes, once the process has begun. This is the most life-changing New Years Resolution I have ever made (or stuck with longer than a week). I am enjoying living in the moment. I have had a few setbacks – trying to get ahead of myself – but I am self-aware and definitely correcting behaviors as I see them happen.

*segue time*, not to be confused with *segway time* (one is a transitional tool; the other is a ridiculous two wheeled personal transporter that make people look ridiculous)

I am not a natural-born salesperson. I don’t have it in me to “sell” anything to anyone. In my part-time job, I do Sales and Marketing – and I dislike it immensely. I love the marketing portion. . . I don’t love the sales portion. I feel like the village eejit peddling my wares from a cart. BUT – I make the sale because I believe in the product. Plus, it’s my inheritance, so I need the business to make as much as it can! Right?

Okay, I desperately need some advice. But I cannot state the issue in this posting. Therefore, if you feel you are equipped to offer advice on a myriad of issues, please let me know, and I will give you a chance to play Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It!

Bloody Hell, man, pull yourself together!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: To answer your question, I’ll quote Miss Jane Bennett, “Yes. A thousand times, yes.”

12 January 2009

The Colts, Mickey Mouse, and Aerosmith

Current mood: Content with Life!

Come back to Texas
It’s just not the same since you went away
Before you lose your accent
and forget all about the Lone Star State
There’s a seat for you at the rodeo
and I've got every slow dance saved
~ “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)” by Bowling for Soup

Last week, I was on a fun-filled family holiday to Orlando, Florida. I rode my first roller coaster (Space Mountain) – loved it, then rode my first upside down roller coaster (Aerosmith’s Rock and Roller Coaster) and loved it even more!!! I met and was photographed with over a dozen Disney characters. Stitch even tried to run away with me at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. He was so adorable. I behaved like a 10 year old at each Disney Park. It was seriously the happiest place on Earth.

I enjoyed 7 days with my siblings and my parents. I also enjoyed 80 degree weather, the Atlantic Ocean, and a visit to the oldest city in the U.S. (St. Augustine). I got enough sleep and ate way too much. I lived life to the fullest for 7 days. It was a great start to 2009. Plus, it helped me focus on taking life one day at a time – which is my New Year’s Resolution. Overall, a wonderful experience.

Random Thoughts:

On the NFL front, Peyton and his Colts are done for the season. No Super Bowl trip this year! As of Feb 3, 2009, they’ll be undefeated for next season. No worries!

I saw a couple of good movies this past weekend. One will most likely be nominated for some award . . . the other will not. LOL

Downloaded some new iTunes AND ringtones. Woo hoo!

We took hundreds of pictures on our trip. I need to upload them to a public site so they can be viewed.

Tonight, I hope to get my hair cut and colored before my trip to Fort Worth, which is at the end of the week. I am so excited to see the twins and my friends. I hope that I can fit all the Christmas presents for everyone in my suitcase. I really should have mailed them – but time got away from me, as it generally does.

I am not a procrastinator – normally – but it seems I have developed the habit. Just another fault to work on in the New Year. I know this is a discombobulated posting. Sorry for that!

I guess I am still a bit rattled from my roller coaster experiences. Yay Me!!!!!!!

I was born in the year of the Dragon. Hee hee

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You will love the present I bought you! See you in 4 days!

02 January 2009

Resolution? Resolve this!

And I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust?
Somewhere the sun is always shining
~ “The Thief” by Relient K

I can hear it
A jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not be rescued
~ “Rescued” by Jack’s Mannequin

Happy 2009!!!

I am an over-thinker. My analytical powers are such that I shift into overdrive anytime a decision has to be made. This is not to say that I am unable to make a decision. I am quite capable of making decisions, and do so on a regular basis. The issue tends to be that AFTER I make a decision I worry that it was the wrong one to make. Sometimes, my anxiety is legitimate; but in most instances, I am just spinning my wheels without direction.

Therefore, this year’s resolution is going to be life-changing. I am going to live in the moment – without trying to control every minute detail of my life. I must stop worrying about what will be. I also must stop feeling compelled to define every event and relationship that comes along. There is something to be said about spontaneity. Since I am never spontaneous, I cannot tell you what exactly there is to be said – but I know there is something, because a lot of people live spontaneous lives and are quite happy, well-rounded individuals.

I have no illusions that I will become a non-worrying, spontaneous, free spirit over night. This will, indeed, be a constant struggle. I am, however, tired of living in fear of what ‘could’ happen. Tomorrow, I leave for Orlando! Nothing brings a person to ‘center’ like a week-long family holiday! That’s right – all 6 of us siblings, and our parents are going to Orlando, FL! We will see Disney World, the beach, swim with manatees, and pretty much be ready to kill one another by the time we return to the Arctic pleasure that is Omaha!

This will be MY first family vacation with all the siblings AND my first visit to Walt Disney World. I am actually really excited. We kids (if we can be called that) are staying in a 3 bedroom condo. Our parents and our honorary aunt and uncle from Indianapolis, will be staying in a 2 bedroom condo. It should be an amazing time!

Our plane leaves tomorrow at 11am. I still need to do laundry, pack my suitcase, and finish moving the rest of my stuff from my old place to my new one.

Perhaps I should have created a resolution about procrastination! I’ll do that next year – maybe!

PERSONAL NOTE: I’ll see you and the babies in 2 weeks!!!!!! I cannot wait!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Valkyrie, Brad Pitt, or a Western?

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.