28 October 2009

I Think I Love You

current mood: nauseated

When these pillars get pulled down
It will be you who wears the crown
And I'll owe everything to you
How much pain has cracked your soul?
How much love would make you whole?
You're my guiding lightning strike
~ “I Belong to You” by Muse

This past weekend, I welcomed Lucius Veras into my world. He is a beautiful 2010 Honda Civic; Polished Metal in color; and so beautiful. I have out over a hundred miles on him this week and every one was special in its own way. Yes, I am prone to exaggeration – still, it’s a damn fine car. When I went to pick him up from the dealer [O’Daniel Honda plug here], I was able to see Joe Cool and drink yummy cappuccino from their cappuccino machine. It was a dream come true. Also, while sitting in the showroom waiting for Joe Cool to return with some paperwork, I enthusiastically assisted another sales guy sell a Honda Fit. They should ditch that Honda mascot and just send out pictures of me and Lucius.

Today, Joe Cool called me to check on the car and see how I liked him. As I noted to him when he said, ‘hello’, it is quite unusual for someone to hear her car salesman’s voice and instantly know who it is. We both found that rather amusing. I have decided that it would be in my best interest to drive over to Superiority Complex Honda – and share with their General Manager that due to their slimy, non-listening sales guy, O’Daniel sold not 1, but 2, BRAND NEW Honda Civics to the same person in a 16 month period of time. AND, both times, I paid cash (well, financed through someone else) meaning that there was no risk to Honda regarding late payments or default. That dumb, dumb man – ‘SS Rob’. If only he would have listened when I “told him I was looking for a 4 door Honda Civic, a 2008 or 2007, NOT Silver or White. I also specified I wanted a standard transmission; not an automatic.” Alas, thanks to him, I am well on my way to putting Joe Cool’s kids through college. See 'Ridin' in my 5.0' for details of my adventures purchasing Marcus Aurelius!

I am looking forward to being in Fort Worth for Halloween weekend. Granted, I am disappointed that I am not going to Voodoo Fest in New Orleans (and I am sure y’all are sad you won’t get to read any commentary on this year’s bands) with Roly-Poly Nicoly and Ali-Son. Instead, I get to go trick-or-treating with the twins AND meet THREE new babies that have been born since June. Next year, I can go to New Orleans.

For those of you who may be concerned as to the well-being of Lucius Veras while I am out of town – he is parked in a secret location, where would-be thieves will have to pass through laser beams and wild beasts to get to him. Even Homeland Security doesn’t know where he is being hidden. Um . . . now that I mentioned ‘Homeland Security’ will this blog be monitored? If I also use words like ‘Gitmo’; ‘WMDs’, and international espionage, perhaps I can pick up a few more readers. Maybe the Obama Family can read my words aloud before watching movies in the White House movie theatre.

Last thought before I go. . . the new 3OH!3 song, “Starstruck” makes me wish I knew how to whistle. “Nice Legs! Daisy Dukes! Makes a man go *silence*” It just isn’t the same without the whistle! Bloody hell.

PERSONAL NOTE: I like you.

PUBLIC NOTE: Come to the Happy Hour at Flip’s on Friday afternoon in Fort Worth, right off Western Center and I35-W. Starts at 5 or so.

: Um, bad plan. You may want to think that one over, my friend.

22 October 2009

Hit and Miss

Current Mood: melancholy

He's connected to the sounds
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before
And she knows all his favorite songs
~ “Flavor of the Weak” by American Hi Fi

I am dating someone. He goes by the pseudonym, ‘NBF’ (non-boyfriend). Our last 3 dates were very different fromone another:
The Holland Lecture Series ‘Dr. James K. Galbraith: The Great Crisis and the Predator State’ – a liberal-leaning economist who is possibly riding the coattails of his famous economist father. He talked about strawberry patches and blueberries (a reference to blue and red states). The lecture was interesting; the brownies made my tummy hurt.

Dinner at the Cheesecake Factory then a movie, ‘Law Abiding Citizen’, starring Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx. The concept was thrilling – but the execution and conclusion were lacking. Makes me wonder if Butler will ever be able to carry a film without another big name to back him up.

Movie – Zombieland. It was excellent. I highly recommend it. It’s a fun, yet somewhat grotesque romp. The dialogue is clever and the acting is quite inspiring. I laughed aloud and turned my head in disgust. Plus who doesn’t LOVE zombie movies? As an added bonus, there are no vampires. Great Date flick!
Recently, I introduced NBF to ‘Missed Connections’ on Craigslist. It is a place where people post messages to ‘missed connections’ such as the barista at the Starbucks counter or the guy who made eye contact with on the subway. I love the idea of having a missed connection, then finding the person again – perhaps spurring destiny toward a happier existence. The idea is romantic and fun. The reality, however, is generally much more pathetic. I used to date a guy who was some girl’s ‘missed connection’. They had chatted at the bus stop. She wanted to see him again. Granted, it is less creepy than stalking the bus stop for him. And, had he not been dating me at the time, perhaps he would have contacted her and they could have lived happily ever after. I could be the cause for destroying the opportunity of a lifetime. Maybe.

If you read through them, however, it becomes all too apparent that people are reaching at straws, in hopes that they can connect with someone, anyone. Sometimes, the descriptions are so vague that one has to wonder if there really was an interaction at all. In other situations, the messages are so specific that one is tempted to go to the place with a printout of the message to give the barista a little nudge in the right direction. Either way, I am curious as to whether or not these people ever connect.

Has our world truly devolved into a place where we cannot attempt to connect in person? Why are people so scared of rejection that they must go to an online site and post something that will most likely never be seen by the person in question? Next time, walk up to that counter and say, ‘hi.’ Introduce yourself. I have several friends who I never would have known had I just posted a ‘missed connection’ instead of introducing myself and been willing to talk to a perfect stranger.

I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone today and make a connection – it could change everything.

PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you for not being a ‘missed connection’

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: The late night-chats are taking their toll.

to all my peeps in Fort Worth whom I will see in one week!

07 October 2009

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun

current mood: apprehensive

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down
I'm gonna burn it down
~ “Funhouse” by Pink

I do have green eyes; however, I hold no jealous tendencies. Jealousy indicates resentment toward others for what they have, are, or will be. My heart cannot even sustain anger in the worst of situations. There is no possibility that I would be able to sustain a tangible amount of envy for anyone or anything. This doesn’t make me noble; I assure you. Instead, it gives evidence that my claims of emotional detachment have merit. I have always suspected that I have anti-social tendencies bubbling under the surface of normality. There are days where I am fairly confident that I could survive without human contact for far longer than most of society. Granted, I have specific people in my life that would be severely missed and possibly longed for – but, in the end, I’d adapt.

The beginning of ‘Zombieland’ started churning these thoughts in my brain. Fortunately for me, there are no zombies around who could actually eat my brain until these thoughts stop eating away at me.

Several friends have shared their unsolicited opinions lately, regarding my willingness to love someone who doesn’t love me back. This is not a new trait that I picked up in my post-divorce world. It’s something that I have done for as far back as I remember. I am an expert, it seems, at giving away emotion – but pretty terrible at receiving it. In fact, I remember a conversation with Husband #1 where he stated that he had finally fallen in love with me and that he wished I were willing to accept that love. Granted, there had been a lot of ‘bridge wash-outs’ prior to that conversation which made divorce inevitable. Yet, the conversation has been stuck in my memory since then.

I let people love me. Really, I do. I put forth great effort to not throw emotions back at people – to respect their feelings. With the exception of the twins, however, I don’t tend to embrace one’s emotional connection with me. I try. Yoda taught us: ‘Do, or do not. There is no try.’ Successfully navigating the precarious waters of emotional exchange is difficult at best. Most days, I am just pleased when I haven’t offended anyone with my lack of social awareness.

Part of the issue is that I can completely shut off any sense of connection or emotion with someone. If they upset me in any way – I will just turn off any emotions toward that person. It allows me the luxury of detachment. Complete apathy has its advantages. Some people tell me that it’s unhealthy to shut them down like that. One ex-boyfriend in particular used to get very frustrated with me because I would disengage from conflict – from everything really, to avoid a confrontation or to show any emotion beyond ‘everything is great’.

Sometimes, I catch myself doing the same thing with NBF. When I realize what is happening, I put a halt to it. My friendship with him is too important to ‘hide my truth’, even if it creates conflict. I think that may be one of the reasons we don’t spend all of our spare time together. I can be difficult. Hard to believe, I know . . . but it is true. Too much ‘Girl Genius’ would wear the Dalai Lama’s patience thin. In small doses, however, I am AMAZING!

PRIVATE NOTE: 12 days until your baby girl will be here.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Should we throw a Happy Hour while I am in Fort Worth?

01 October 2009

I Used to Roll the Dice

current mood: relieved

Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances run away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
And possibilities
~ “Chances” by Five for Fighting

Yesterday I built some garage shelves. They were not overly complicated; but, they did take me a while to build. I had built three of the four shelves when NBF arrived. He walked in the garage and startled me (I was listening to my iPod). I was barefoot; sweating; and my hair was falling out of the clip. He volunteered to help me finish the final shelf. I was in a hurry and gratefully accepted his offer.

This is where the Mars/Venus differences kicked in. For some reason, any time a male volunteers to help a female do something ‘boyish’, such as building shelves, he has to take over the project. NBF is definitely male and he behaved precisely how I expected. I became the assistant shelf-builder while he attempted to use that ‘Y’ chromosome to his advantage. He even went as far as to say, ‘Babe, you should have waited and I could have helped you build all of them.’

Now I completely understand that he was being sweet. I took it as he intended and appreciated his thoughtfulness and willingness to give up his time to build shelves with me. Still, did he not see the 3 shelves I had already built? They were standing there; quite sturdy I may add, in the back of the garage. I will acknowledge that it definitely went faster with two people – but sometimes, it would be nice to have a guy look at what was done while he wasn’t present and be amazed!

On the other hand, I like it when a man wants to take care of things for me. Hell, I don’t like to open doors on my own – so a guy offering to build furniture that he won’t even be using is spectacular. I believe the key to pushing through the Venus/Mars smokescreen is to assume positive intent.

Moving to a new topic, my insurance company has agreed to pay for my stolen car. They mailed a check to my lien holder today. This means that by the time my new car arrives, the old one will be paid off. I have already secured a new car loan, which is a good thing – though I wish that I could have just used the old loan, as the terms were a little better. Oh well. At least it is being handled. Beggars cannot be choosers; and I am definitely a beggar without a car.

Now, a quick shout-out for Joe Cool, everyone’s favourite Honda salesman:
Joe Mancuso @ O'Daniel Honda is the only car salesman from whom I will ever buy another car!

In August 2008, I bought a brand new Honda Civic from Joe. Not only did I get a great deal; but he has kept in touch with me, verifying that I am happy with the car, etc. I also use the O'Daniel Service Department, who are fantastic and professional.

Due to a car thief with bad driving skills, I am now back in the market for a new car, and Joe has been amazing in helping me find the exact car I want. I could not ask for better service. While I was not in the car when it crashed into a reinforcement pole; based on the damage done to the vehicle, and the fact that the thief walked away from the scene never to be heard from again, it appears that Honda builds a pretty safe car!

Buy a Honda from O'Daniel Honda -- ask for Joe Mancuso -- you will be so happy that you did!

(402) 393-7801
78th & Dodge, Omaha, NE 68114

or visit them online at: www.odanielhonda.com

PERSONAL NOTE: Hope you did great on your job interview!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I miss you so very much!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.