31 December 2010

Pardon Me

Current mood: idealistic

How long till my soul gets it right?
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light?
I call on the resting soul of Galileo
King of night vision, King of insight
~ “Galileo” by the Indigo Girls

 Today is Governor (New Mexico) Richardson’s last day of office. Richardson, in his last non-act as governor, has refused to pardon Billy the Kid of his past crimes. The legend goes that the then governor, Gov. Lew Wallace, promised the Kid a pardon in exchange for his eye-witness testimony of other killings during the Lincoln County War. Richardson claims that there is not any tangible evidence that Gov. Wallace ever intended on pardoning the notorious gunslinger. For those of you not familiar with the Lincoln County War, watch ‘Young Guns’ for a glorified historical viewpoint.

Instead of a pardon, William H. Bonney (aka Billy the Kid) was sentenced to hang for the murder of the Lincoln County Sheriff. He escaped; taunting the law by singing ‘I shot the sheriff; but I didn’t shoot the deputy.’ Pat Garrett, an old ‘friend’ of Bonney’s, caught up with the outlaw and shot him (some say “in the back”). And it is Garrett’s grandson (who is shockingly, still alive) and Wallace’s great-grandson (who is also still alive) who claim pardoning the outlaw would be a disgrace on their ancestors’ good-names.

Forgive me for saying so; but I don’t think that pardoning Billy the Kid would do anything to the “good names” of Wallace and Garrett. The only reason anyone even knows who these people are is because they were involved with Billy the Kid. I don’t think anyone else cares – especially not Billy, who stays dead, either way. I shouldn’t say that “no one cares”, because there was a public poll taken and of the 809 responses, 430 supported the pardon. Why is this even being discussed? Are things in New Mexico so hunky-dory that they have to bring up 100 year old controversy to keep the rest of the world interested? Aren’t there any new alien conspiracies?

To honor 2011, I would like to offer all of you a pardon. It’s a clean slate, beginning tomorrow. Act accordingly!

22 December 2010

Wonder Twin Power, Activate

current mood: disengaged

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere,
we can't move on we can't stay here
well maybe we've just had enough,
well maybe we aint meant for this love
~ “Mockingbird” by Rob Thomas

I am not really sure what fashion statement I was trying to make this morning when I got dressed. Granted, it was 7:20am, and I had to leave at 7:30am, so my thinking wasn’t entirely calm and clear. Still, there must have been some thought in my head as I selected a pair of dark gray leggings, a black tank dress, and a white ¾ sleeve cardigan, combined with a pair of boots and mismatched socks. I am looking down at my clothes and I seriously would like a do-over.

To hide this seriously dysfunctional wardrobe, I am staying at my desk and avoiding eye contact with anyone who passes by. Luckily for me, the ginger who sits next to me is oblivious to what I wear. The other people in my area, however, are all fashionistas. Seriously, this many fashionably hip women should not work in one department unless it is for Versace or Stella McCartney. Luckily, all these women are friendly; otherwise, I would be terrified to enter the building. Even the pregnant girl looks amazing every day. It is surreal.

Also within sight of my workstation is a new Honda Civic driver. He bought a 2010 black Civic from Superiority Complex Honda. While I do not approve of the location, I do approve of the car. I am hoping to hook Lucius up so they can make little charcoal colored Hondas. *note to self: jokes about mating cars are not really that funny when written out*. I am a little envious that his car has leather seats and seat warmers. Unfortunately, Elizabeth makes it impossible for me to have leather seats in my car. Her little toe nails scratch the heck out of leather – for proof, see my parents’ couch.

*pause for blowing my nose*

Ugh, I am so bloody tired of a runny nose. I seriously think someone turned a spigot on in my head and forgot to turn it back off. On that disgusting note, I am going to close this message with some words of wisdom from an unidentified author:

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.”
PERSONAL NOTE: Happy Christmas across the pond!


15 December 2010

Awkwardness and Bad Valets

Current mood: cogito ergo sum

Hey there's this pretty pretty girl I know
He broke her heart and now she’s letting go
What you two had was never love you know
So let me show you what it feels like
I'll never make you cry, always kiss you goodnight
~ “Just Friends?” by Kill Paradise

Recently, I have been subjected to some awkward situations which made me wish that I could pause time and ‘gently’ explain to the ‘awkward actor’ why I would like to punch them in the face. First, I am going to rant about valets. Let me preface this rant with a disclaimer: my brother used to be a valet. He was a damn good one. I believe that if all valets were like him, I wouldn’t have to take deep breaths before reclaiming my car. Now, on to the valets who vex me. I have a new car insurance company – and they have this special little device that plugs into my car to monitor my driving habits. With this device, they are focusing on 3 key risk factors:

  1. ANY driving time between 12midnight – 4am
  2. Distance and average speed driven each day
  3. HARD BRAKING! (Hard braking is the use of a brake to decrease the speed of the car by 7 mph in 1 second.)

I was very excited about this device because I knew that if I could drive carefully for 30 days, I could get a significant discount on my very expensive auto insurance. To make this process transparent, the insurance company allows drivers to view the captured data online. Imagine my surprise when I viewed 7 hard brakes during times that I was not in possession of my vehicle. Instead, it appeared that the valet who was driving LUCIUS V around had an issue with braking. Futhermucker! When I called the insurance company to inquire what I could do to avoid valets ruining my driving record, the only advice the girl could offer was ‘gently remind them about the device in the car’.

So I did! And I promise, I was kind. I did not tell the supervisor – I notified the valet himself. I pointed out the device and just asked that he be careful while braking to avoid triggering the ‘hard brake’ warning. He looked confused; but said he would alert the other valets. I still tipped the kid and everything. No matter – that same valet team parked my car several more times with the same results. Grrrrrr! So, I have been forced to remove the device and send it back before the 30 day risk-free time period was up. So, no discount for me!

With no device in the car, I realized that I could no longer monitor how valets drove. I suppose ignorance is bliss in this case. No longer fearing the hard braking valets, I utilized another valet’s services so that I did not have to walk through the bitterly cold parking lot at a photography event I was working. When the event was over, I gave the valet my ticket, and then waited almost 15 minutes for my car to be delivered. The place was not busy and I didn’t know what was taking so long – until one of the other valets asked me how long I had been waiting. When I told him, a confused look was quickly replaced with a bright light bulb appearing above his head. He then asked me the one question no manual transmission owner wants to be asked by a valet: “Is your car a stick?” As I nodded, I saw LUCIUS being driven very slowly through the parking lot and toward the portcullis where I was waiting. When the kid got out of my car, the other valets asked him why he didn’t call one of them down instead of attempting to drive the car himself. The DAMN VALET doesn’t know how to drive a manual. WTF!?! How can you be a valet and not know how??? I can only imagine the horrors he put my clutch through, trying to go from reverse to 1st. I laughed it off and was very friendly; though I really wanted to kick the kid’s ass for attempting to drive a car he doesn’t know how to drive. Bloody eejit!

Moving on to the second topic I wanted to cover, let’s discuss the “sideways, one-armed hug”. This hug/squeeze should only be used by males with other males at sporting events or while watching sporting events. Otherwise, this hug is awkward (at best) and insulting (at worst). I am not especially fond of strangers or acquaintances touching me at all. However, if you are going to touch me, it had better not be to give me a one-armed hug. Either commit to the real hug or stick to a wave. There are so many issues with the one-armed hug which bother me. I will focus on the top 3:

  1. I don’t like being pulled toward people sideways and squeezed. I just don’t. It puts me off balance and wrinkles my clothing.
  2. If you do not know whether or not I want to be embraced by you – then err on the side of caution and don’t touch me or be bold and embrace me fully. I have a lot more respect for confidence than I do for the awkwardness of a one-armed hug.
  3. The one-armed hug is never acceptable with someone you just met. NEVER! If you didn’t know my name before today, and you give me a one-armed hug, I will be visualizing stabbing you in the eye with an ice-pick.

Alright, I am feeling much better now. Thank you!

PERSONAL NOTE: I love you. Yes, you.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: If you ever give me another one-armed hug, I will be forced to take drastic action.

06 December 2010

Little Miss Fickle

Current mood: apprehensive

I've got everything I've ever wanted here

Everything and damn this constant fear
I'm sure I'm gonna lose it all
Just waiting for the other boot to fall
~ “Easier” by Glen Phillips

I have a dentist appointment right after work on Monday. Girl Dentist found a cavity in one of my incisors the last time I was in for a cleaning. It is very small, so we are trying to take care of it before it causes me any pain. Plus, I have to spend the rest of my FSA dollars. I have spent well over my allotted FSA dollar amount – but I consistently forget to turn in my receipts – which wouldn’t be an issue if they would just give us a debit card like the HSA peeps get. Grrrrr. I love Flex Spending for the tax benefits; I just don’t enjoy the reimbursement process.

I have been terrible with journaling lately – which is why I haven’t posted a blog in weeks. Plus, with working two jobs and attending school, I really don’t have a lot of time to write frivolously. To catch y’all up, I am working in a new position at my full-time job, which makes life so much more enjoyable than it had been. I enjoy the challenge of learning the ins and outs of my new role. I finished my first term in the Paralegal program and earned As in both classes. Yay! I spent Thanksgiving weekend with NBF in Indiana where he is currently finishing up his first semester as a 1L in Law School. Send positive thoughts his way, if you can!

I am really trying to get myself motivated so that I can FINALLY go back and finish “Eidetic Vision”. It has been sitting dormant for over 2.5 years now. Inexcusable, really! I just don’t hear the characters anymore. It’s as if knowing how it will all end has made me unable to finish. Maybe I can convert it into a short story or something. I mean, it had a voice for so long – aren’t I obligated to let it be ‘heard’? I just don’t know where to begin . . .

If you have any ideas, please let me know.

PERSONAL NOTE: Congratulations to Paul, Tania, and Tenesha on their upcoming family addition! 5 months in and Tania still looks fab!

I am so very proud of you for standing up and fighting when most people would have tried to just get past it. You are an inspiration for others.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.