30 September 2008

100% Waterproof and Easy to Apply

Current mood: peaceful

I don't care what you think
As long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery
~ "I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy

My left thumb is wounded. Somehow – and I don't know how – there is a hole in it. Okay, perhaps the word 'hole' is an exaggeration. There is, however, a pretty good size of flesh missing from it. What it looks like happened is that I had a small cut or something, and instead of letting it heal, I messed with it. So, now there is a hole. It is similar to biting your nails – you don't realize what you are doing until the damage is already done. I covered it with Neosporin Cream (not the gel, which I hate) and attempted to cover it with a band-aid – but no luck. The band-aid is uncomfortable, so I removed it.

Hand wounds are tricky little bastards – because they are hard to keep covered and clean. A few years ago, you may remember when I sliced my finger and nicked the bone while attempting to do a decorating project using a knife instead of scissors. Well, this morning, when I walked outside, I realized that when it is cold, that finger hurts. The scar tissue must have something to do with it. I suppose I am getting old when I start blaming body aches and pains on the weather.

Speaking of getting old – my aunt once tried to explain to me that as we age, our mind starts to work like one of those crane games where you try to pick up the stuffed animal with a grappling hook. You may be trying to grab the purple bear, but the crane picks up the football instead. I am like that with words. I like to believe that I have an extensive vocabulary. Yet, I still just throw out the wrong words at inopportune times. For example, I was trying to tell someone a story the other day, and I threw in the word 'lunch', which made absolutely no sense. NONE! I cannot remember what word I was trying to use – but I assure you that it had nothing to do with meal times. It was a brain misfire – and I was somewhat embarrassed.

I realize that my face has not aged as rapidly as the rest of me. And I do not think that 32 is exceptionally old. In fact, I happen to like being in my early-30s. There are a lot of plusses to being out of my 20s. Still, I wish that my joints didn't creak when I stand up and that I can remember where my keys are at any given time.

DAMNIT! I just realized that I missed my PT appointment this morning. Bloody Hell! Until right now, I didn't even know that it was Tuesday!

I wonder what else I have forgotten!

PERSONAL NOTE: I really miss talking to you! We should remedy that!

Multiple lifetimes – and still, we cannot get it right! Hmmm.

29 September 2008

Residual Sweep

Current mood: annoyed

How will I know if there's a path worth takin'?
Should I question every move I make?
With all I've lost, my heart is breakin'
I don't want to make the same mistakes.
~ "Bet on It" as sung by Zac Efron

The problem with taking a trip down Memory Lane is that you cannot control the memories you run across. I suppose it is somewhat like Alice in Wonderland. She seems to enjoy chasing the White Rabbit and her time with the Caterpillar is "surreal" but not entirely unpleasant. Yet, the ridiculous Tea Party with the March Hare and the Mad Hatter just about puts her out of sorts for the rest of the story. And when she seeks the advice of the Cheshire Cat – all she gets is a bunch of nonsensical advice which only serves to perplex young Alice.

Memories are like that – perplexing. Therefore, combining memories with the present – well, it's dangerous and not-altogether-wise. I am choosing to trust this belief and sweep away any residuals. It is what's best! My mood is cranky today and I can feel that inferiority complex which often follows nostalgic events. Bloody Hell!

On a completely different topic: I heard a funny joke today.

"What did the alien say to the plant?"
"Take me to your weeder."

LMAO! Now that is good humour! It is almost as funny as Family brunch yesterday!

Brunch was scheduled for 10:30 AM at the Club. I was 279 miles from home, wishing I could sleep longer – but instead, I got up, showered, got dressed in "non-denim" since you cannot wear jeans in the club dining room, loaded Marcus Aurelius and started driving for home. Nothing is quite as torturous as driving down I-80, in the fog, with fields of agriculture everywhere. I suppose some people would find it peaceful – I do not. Images of "Children of the Corn' and 'The Village' come to mind – not to mention, it is so very dull.

I was 30 minutes late for brunch – but not to worry, apparently everyone else had "just sat down" so I excitedly grabbed a plate and filled it with waffles, potatoes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. I hadn't eaten dinner so I was rather hungry. All but one sibling was present – which was a delight – and allowed us to discuss the upcoming Family Vacation we are taking in January. Immediate family only; no friends or significant others.

When two of the sisters called "Captains" which means the captain seats in the rental van, it was revealed that a Club Van was being rented – meaning bench seats. Ha – take that you "early callers". Then, we meandered into "nostalgic" territory – which generally entails the retelling of humiliating experiences from our past. Sometimes these experiences are funny on merit – sometimes they are just funny because of the reactions! Either way – hijinks and shenanigans ensued.

I took a leave of absence from the table to get some fruit. Upon my return – while still standing, I placed my knife on my plate, which proceeded to fall, bounce off the table, and land in my water goblet; which then started pouring water out of it – all over my fruit plate. Mi Madre grabbed the glass as I grabbed the knife. I had succeeded in defying the laws of physics. My magical knife had actually punctured a hole in the glass – but did not shatter it. None of us could stop laughing. Even the family at the next table was taking part in the hilarity. It was acknowledged that no one had ever seen such an event!

I suppose I could take the show on tour – but water goblets can get expensive.

You are right. It is just better this way.

Boredom is to be expected. No worries!

26 September 2008

Hurry up, Moon!

Current mood: impatient

When the Moon returns to your sign today, you'll likely feel an energetic boost. But your feelings may be hard to manage, leaving you exhausted from sharing too much with a friend or lover. You might try to advance your cause by demonstrating your efficiency. The best thing you can do now is to show your vulnerability so you are on equal footing with everyone else. ~Friday, September 26, 2008

So, Tarot.com is always pretty dead-on accurate with my horoscopes. It is creepy actually, as you can see they don't exactly do the "generalization" horoscope like other sites. So, today, I am demonstrating efficiency, as suggested, AND I am showing vulnerability through an iced knee, a migraine, and true contrition. Being emotionally vulnerable is not something I enjoy – but sometimes it is a necessity, (again) per Tarot.com.

I came to work slightly mournful, as 'Prince Harry', 'Miss Efficiency', and 'Teacher turned Corporate Fan' were all scheduled to leave. . . but thanks to the Fates, they are staying on a while longer. I am relieved and can stress about other things instead. My bank has been acquired by another firm, leaving me to wonder what will happen to my favourite checking account. Will my checks still be free? Will I still need to shout "Woo Hoo" whenever I make a deposit or withdrawal? Will all of the old, stuffy bankers be leaving their little pen? There are a lot of unanswered questions!

I am super-busy at work, yet cannot focus due to all the other stuff going on. I end up working from home just to get it all done. On top of it all – I am still limping with a damn ice bag. Me thinks that perhaps I doth protesteth too much when I said that it was just "walking strain". I will most likely have to go to the doctor. . . bloody hell! Who wants to go to the doctor's office for a silly knee? Though I do love my doctor, so perhaps it is time to stop in and see him.

Did anyone watch "The Office" last night? I found it to be a huge disappointment. Though I am glad that BJ Novak is back on as a regular. He's hot! Much hotter as a 'goatee-less' brother!

It is time to turn over a new leaf. . . and the best way to do so, is always by visiting the tree from whence the leaf grows. Tomorrow, I will do just that! Tomorrow I am going time travelling – for lack of a better phrase – and I like to believe that getting something out of my system will help!

If not – back to the drawing board!

PERSONAL NOTE: My heart is with you and yours during this painful, sorrowful time.

Give me some time. . .

24 September 2008

‘Be My Guest’

Current mood: fabulous

While in St. Paul, MN this past weekend, I made an amazing discovery. The Hilton Garden Inn not only provides a Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer; but also shares a paperback copy of the 1957 Classic Autobiography 'Be my Guest' by Conrad Hilton. Yep, Paris' granddaddy wrote a book – and you can read it courtesy of Hilton Hotels and Resorts.

I 'borrowed' the book from our hotel room so that I could learn all about Pappy Hilton and the rest of the Hilton Clan. There is even a section with pictures for dramatic effect. It is a lovely book and Mr. Hilton vaguely resembles Wilfred Brimley on the cover. I don't know how he ended up with a grand daughter who got down and dirty with a night vision camera and some camo gear. They didn't cover that stuff in the book. I suppose an update is required!

If anyone wants to borrow the book, let me know. . . I can give you the hook up!

Last night, I went to bed at a decent time. Since the walk, I have been sleeping fairly well, with the exception of waking up due to itchy blisters on my feet. Imagine, if you will, a sleeping female human (that's me), a sleeping dog (that's Ebie), and a sleeping cat (Gracie) all wrapped in a down comforter on a twin sized bed (in a house with no kitchen). The sleeping human (still me) has a heating pad wrapped around her left leg; the dog is at the bottom of the bed, while the cat is sleeping on the pseudo-pillow at the top of the bed. .

Now, imagine the sleeping trio ripped from dreamland by the ringing of a cell phone at 3:26am. (That's 3:26am central time for those who require more detail). I looked at the ringing phone, trying to silence it with my Jedi thoughts, but it kept ringing. Then I noticed the caller ID and answered it with my standard "no I wasn't sleeping" voice, even though it is obvious that I was doing just that. The voice on the other end of the line made me smile through my drowsiness. It is always a pleasure to talk to friends I have known for 15+ years – even at 3am.

20 minutes into the conversation, though, I was surprised to hear the call waiting beep in my ear. Seriously, People, I know I seldom sleep – but this is getting ridiculous. I did not click over; which did not deter the second caller from trying again, moments later. I can generally only tolerate one pre-dawn call per night, so I again let the beeping continue until the caller gave up – or fell asleep. The world may never know.

Tonight, I am going home, watching 'Bones' on the DVR, then going to bed early. So, for anyone wanting to call me after midnight, you had better hope you are the first to call. I will only answer once.

PERSONAL NOTE: I'll check flights and see what can be worked out!

You could at least have the balls to be honest; bloody coward!

PUBLIC NOTICE: I formed a team for the 2009 Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day. Check out the Team Site: www.the3day.org/goto/sbps

23 September 2008

Think Pink - 57 miles later

Current mood: triumphant

Here I am, 2 days removed from the Twin Cities Breast Cancer 3-Day! I have ice wrapped around my knee and colorful band-aids/medical tape covering the blisters on my feet. And I cannot wait to get signed up for next year's walk. It looks like I am going to captain a team for Chicago's 3-Day, August 7-9, 2009. The Chicago walk is supposed to be a lot of fun and quite scenic.

I would like to invite anyone who is interested to join my team. This is an amazing opportunity to support a lifesaving cause and to change your life for the better. My experience will forever be imprinted on my heart. I met men and women who are unforgettable. Truly heroic people!

And on the last day, when we were down on one knee, saluting the survivors who walked along with us – tears streamed down our faces and goose bumps covered our skin as we realized that we were finally a part of something so much greater than ourselves. Isn't that what we are seeking in life? To be a part of something greater than the individual. 3,200 walkers were able to raise 7.3 MILLION dollars. That money will save lives!

Yes, the fundraising is a challenge. Next year, each walker must raise a minimum of $2,300. The physical training requires commitment. The walk-itself is a grueling physical and mental struggle. There is pain and suffering – I assure you. Along with that, there are moments that will bring you higher than you could even imagine. You will find out for yourself how the clapping and cheering of a guy in a cowboy hat or a little girl can buoy you to walk the next 2 miles – even when you are sure your legs will give out.

There are only 10 months until the Chicago walk – so get started now – contact me for information on joining my team! I can promise you two things –

1. It will be one of the most difficult journeys you will ever make.
2. You will be forever thankful when you take your first step and never look back!

You are incredible cheerleaders and I could not have done it without you!

16 September 2008

Figure It Out

Current mood: insubordinate

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
~ "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay

This morning, Ebie was a naked dog – as her harness is in the laundry and she was given a much-needed bath last night. That dog loves to roll around in stuff that stinks. It's disgusting, actually! There is nothing adorable about smelling like a dead squirrel or wild animal pee.

After her bath, I let her run around the house without her harness and it always makes me laugh at how weird she looks without the red harness to offset her shiny black coat. It makes her look "naked". And when her harness isn't on, she runs around the house all crazy-like, reminding me of a toddler who gets out of the bath and runs around the house without any clothes on. There is something freeing about not having those restrictions, I guess.

This leads me to that ATT Wireless commercial where the family is in Spain and ends up on the nude beach – "because they don't have ATT". I wonder if I would have a better body self-image if I were to go to a nudist retreat center. I do not have modesty issues, as it is, and being 'naked' is far from offensive to me – I just don't think that I am "all that" while not wearing clothes. I am soft in places I wish were more tone and there are always the "extra" inches that seem to mock me in the mirror after I get out of the bath.

I know that I could begin working out and dedicate my life to a healthier routine – but that is not happening. I don't have the time or the drive to workout 2 hours a day. Hell, I barely sleep 2 hours a day – when would I make the time to exercise? Yes, in this case I would rather bitch about it than actually do anything to CHANGE the way I look. Still – if I could become more comfortable in my imperfect body, perhaps I would then have the drive to improve. I know that seems backwards – but it really makes total sense in my head.

Therefore, I am going to begin looking for private/clothing optional retreats. That being said, I can already hear the comments and smarty-pants responses which will inevitably be said by those who read this. I can handle your mockery! NO FEAR!

PERSONAL NOTE: Pseudo-date 3 has me wondering what is going on. Any insight would be appreciated!

What happens now? Where do we go from here?

15 September 2008

Lucky Boys Confusion?

Current mood: animated

I'm used to opening my own doors and splitting the checks
He introduced me, was always just a friend
I bought a new dress, he never noticed
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge
I'm getting tired, of cleaning up after them
I think I'm ready to be a woman
Oh love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it
~ "I Think I'm Ready" by Katy Perry

Ask my friend, "Red", and he'd cheerfully point out that I like bad boys. He likes to say that I like the ones who are not very nice (to me or anyone else). "OH Genius" believes that I like them "irretrievably broken" because I want to be a caregiver and fix them. She has been my surrogate in some cases, so she 'gets it'. She knows me better than I know myself some days – and she's right. They both are, actually. I like my relationships to be an arm's length away – AT ALL TIMES! Well, I used to anyway. . . Things are changing, rapidly on that front, and I am in unfamiliar territory. So, wish me luck!

In other news, my sister kicked out her stripper roommate and can now move out of the alcove and back into the bedroom. Hell, she can probably move her bed stand out of the living room as well. To hear her tell it, she would "rather be homeless than live with that skanky bitch again". I don't see the problem. . . the ho-girl commandeered the bedroom, the closet, and the food in the kitchen (none of which she was paying for. She hadn't even paid her rent yet). And she used all of Kabie's Kenra Hairspray – then replaced it with a bottle of White Rain! LOL I didn't even know you could still buy White Rain. Ha ha ha ha ha ha to quote my hairdresser, "that ho used up your Kenra and bought you White Rain. Kick her ass out." That is exactly what happened! Warning to future roommates to my sister – stay the hell away from her hairspray! It will get you evicted.

Yet, I steal her Coach wristlet – and all that happened was that it was "turned into my birthday present" and it will soon be accompanied by a Coach handbag – also courtesy of the sister who hordes her Sun Chips as if they were crusted with diamonds, not Garden Salsa flavoring. Anyway, I don't feel too badly for thieving from her – I mean, she does still consider the cash and credit cards within the wristlet as hers to use – which she does to buy lunch and dinner when ever we go out together. Plus, I think she wanted me to buy her a T-shirt at Hot Topic the other day – based on the fact she kept telling me how much she loved the shirt, and then stare forlornly at the price tag. I didn't take the bait, which is why we didn't have to remain in the store too much longer. One point for me!

Tomorrow, I have two online classes beginning. I am kind of freaking out about them, as I am already a busy, busy girl – and now I get to add two classes on top of it all. Woo Hoo! Life is good here in Omi-ha-ha. At least there is no kitchen at my house to distract me from my other obligations. Food on-site is always a bad way to live – wouldn't you say?

Hell, even my sister said she'd rather live in an alcove with the red-headed hooker than live without a kitchen. Whatevs! Speaking of "whatevs" – my catch-phrase, by the way, that I made up; all by myself – it was used in one of those silly Japanese animations on the cartoon network the other day. Looks like Girl Genius just went global – take that naysayers!

PERSONAL NOTE: Sorry your car got smooshed flat by a tree this weekend. Hope your homeowners' covers it so you can get a nice new car like my Honda Civic. They could get married and make little Marcus Aureliai.

11 September 2008

Kuma Ladi Kuma Ladi Kuma Ladi Vista!

Current mood: awake

Fooled by my own desires
I twist my fate
Just to feel you
But you, turn me toward the light
And you're one with me
Will you run with me?
~ "Stay With You" by the Goo Goo Dolls

My friend, Tim, (yes, that actually is his real name), received a box of old (very old) stuff from his mom in the mail the other day. It contained a bunch of pictures, etc, from high school. Anyway, in that box was a lovely senior picture of yours truly! Making the situation even better, he scanned it and posted it online for the world to see! He even went so far as to tag the pic on Facebook so that anyone looking for pictures of me will be sure to see it. Hard to believe that 15 years have passed since this picture was taken.

So much has happened during that time. I wish I could go back and interview the girl I was – and maybe give her some advice which would not have necessarily made life EASIER – but it may have made it less DRAMATIC at times. And, I definitely would have taken advantage of my desire to drive fast and pursued a career which would allow me to do so without worrying about traffic tickets and flipping over!

I saw Nicolai today. He manipulated my neck in ways that would have made a grown man cry – but I braved it without a whimper. Cause I'm good like that! He does think my back has loosened up considerably, which is a good sign. Perhaps I really won't be in Physical Therapy until I am 80!

Last night, I actually went to bed early, as I was exhausted and not feeling well. When I woke up this morning, there were 9 text messages sent between 10pm and 2am. I feel kind of badly that I was not available for late night communication – but, a girl has gotta get some sleep once in a while.

So – I am rather dull today as I have very little to offer by way of entertaining anecdotes. Though – it should be noted that if you are a male and have red hair – wearing bright peach dress shirts is a really bad idea. Speaking of males with red hair, I'd like to send a shout out to "Red" and "Prince Harry" – neither of which wears bright peach dress shirts. Well done, boys! I can always count on you both for good fashion sense.

I sent a ton of postcards out from my vacation – but if you have not received any yet – and were looking forward to getting one, let me know, as I ran out of postcard stamps – but still have a pile of postcards to mail.

Peep Peep Poulet!

PUBLIC NOTE: Judge Burnett, you will burn in hell for your own stupidity and corruption and prideful ways! I hope you don't fuck your wife with the same fervor that you fuck the American justice system. Karma's a bitch!

Happy Birthday in two days!

10 September 2008

Sometimes I Miss Myself These Days

Current mood: animated

When the ocean meets the sand
We'll go walking hand in hand
I can only dream till then
So ordinary;
Pick me up from this hole
And when the sun comes up tomorrow,
Well, I'll be heading home
~ "These Roads" by Dylan Platt

I woke up for the third day with a migraine. Lucky me. My hair is crazy; all tangled and uncooperative. It hurt to brush it. Therefore, I could only manage to pull through one tangle. Fortunately, I located a hair clip in my cabinet and have clipped my hair into a twisty pile of snarls that looks a little more purposeful. Okay – I just checked a mirror. It does NOT look more purposeful – not one bit. Bloody Hell! Is the 'messy, just got out of bed look' still "in"? I have no idea.

Tuesday is a big day for me next week. I will start the day out with a little PT power from Nicolai – then I will head off to court so I can plead guilty to the lesser charge of careless driving and plead not guilty to reckless driving (which is a misnomer, because there was indeed a wreck). I don't know if the judge will permit me to plea down without an attorney present – but I am praying and hoping because I desperately need to take the defensive driving class so I don't lose points on my driving record. After that, I am off to the DMV to register my car, pay my sales tax and apply for a personalized license plate. Then, I will go into work where I will spend 5 hours going blind from html coding – before I trek across town to my second job.

Recently, it was brought to my attention that I am a tad clumsy. While in San Diego, I reached for a menu and spilled my very yummy coffee flavored malt all over the table. The next day, I was eating cheerios out of a mini flying disk when apparently, I decided that I wanted all the cheerios to become mini flying disks – sending them (unintentionally) all over 'Surfer Boy's' desk and floor space. A few days later, I non-chalantly walked past some cube construction work and proceeded to send a tool box flying off the counter with my hip. Tools dumped everywhere – and in my best Hispanic accent, I said, "lo siento" and scurried away – leaving the laughter echoing behind me. At the airport, I tripped over my own feet so many times that I eventually just took off my shoes and walked barefoot down the terminal. There was the revolving door incident in DFW – damn, the list goes on-and-on. I am really a klutz of the worst order!

I am going to take a risk here and request that you share any stories of my clumsiness in the comments so that all the world can see how bad the situation truly is. You cannot use "hear-say" stories though. If you didn't witness it, you cannot share it. Deal? Deal!

Let's have a secret rendezvous!

09 September 2008

My new Phone is Smarter than Me

Current mood: adventurous

But now I'm on the way back
Chasing something better
And it's turning me around
Baby if you still care
If there's still a burning ember
I'm ready to surrender now
~ "Surrender" by Sister Hazel

I did not get home this morning until 4am from the Chef's. I suppose it was our second pseudo-date; though again, it was just hanging out, watching a movie at his place, and talking to his brother and his brother's friend. Though, he did promise to make me French Toast in the near future. At least I know there will be a third "congregation".

Speaking of congregating – when we were on the plane Saturday, the captain AND the flight attendant told us that when the "Fasten Seat belt Sign" goes off, we were permitted to move about the cabin – BUT not to congregate. WTF!?!? How do you congregate on an airplane? The aisle is barely wider than my hips. Not to mention, when Friendly Guy tried to stretch his leg into the aisle, the beverage cart almost took it off. It was like Death Race – but no one was racing and no one died. Very intense!

Which brings us back to Saturday night – after FG almost killed me with the Revolving Door – "The Converter [TC]" picked me up. TC, her date, her niece, and I all went to my favourite restaurant in Dallas for dinner. It is upscale and heavenly. Oddly enough, the server we had was a little more laid back than most of the staff there. For example – let's review one conversation that will probably be talked about for years to come . . . all because I will practically do anything on a dare.

Girl Genius: Excuse me, I have a delicate request and am hoping you can help me.
Waiter: (leans toward me so I can whisper) How can I help you?
Girl Genius: I am afraid that I have some Coronado Beach sand down my shirt from earlier. Is there any way you could bring me a damp cloth?
Waiter: (eyes open wide with surprise) No problem.

*we giggle when he leaves – but are silent upon his return*

Waiter: (with a smile) One wet cloth for your sandy boobies (then he walked away)
Girl Genius: *speechless*
Rest of Table: *hysterically laughing*
TC: There will definitely be a blog reference for this one.

And there was. . .

08 September 2008

Where is the fricking sun?

Current mood: breezy

Kill me romantically
Fill my soul with vomit
Then ask me for a piece of gum
Bitter and dumb, you're my sugar plum
~ "Love Me Dead" by Ludo

I am back in Nebraska and it is cold and rainy and did I mention cold???? Bloody Hell, two days ago, I was enjoying Coronado Beach, basking in the sunshine, and allowing the cold pacific water to kiss my feet. Now – I am bundled up in my BOSTON hoodie and praying for an end to the madness. (slight exaggeration – but just slightly)

Saturday afternoon was interesting – as I lost 2 hours somewhere over New Mexico – resulting in me being two hours earlier than the rest of my Nebraskan counterparts (with the exception of those in the far west panhandle – I am only an hour behind them). I would like to thank American Airlines for this loss of time. They delivered me from San Diego without a scratch – which I do appreciate, as crashing in my plane would have really put a damper on my non-vacation.

Speaking of the plane – that was an experience like no flight I have ever had. I was assigned seat 20A – which is a cozy window seat, over the wing, a perfect place for curling up with my iPod and my blankie, and going to sleep. Once I was seated, with seat belt fastened, I was pleasantly surprised by the cutest seatmate I could have imagined. He must have been 3, maybe 4 years old – friendly and very excited to be on the plane. His mama was busy holding onto his not as friendly little brother who apparently had the impression that his screams would be appreciated by the other passengers. I helped the kid get his seat belt on, etc, while his mom dealt with a crying baby. The boy and I were bonding, laughing about airplanes and silliness when a man spoke to me from the aisle. 'Excuse me, I am assigned to the aisle seat the next row up; but I'd like to sit with my family – would you be willing to switch places?"

What???? Here I am bonding with the kid – getting ready to take a comfy nap for the 3 hour flight, and you want to sit with your family? PLUS – how can I refuse? Who would actually say, "Um, no, I want to stay here so you have to sit by the meth-head girl in your row. Bloody hell! So, I move to the aisle – where I already know I will not be able to sleep. I keep sneaking looks back at the lil' guy who is playing peek a boo with me – cause he knows sitting with me was the shit – and sitting with dad is lame-o!

I take my NEW seat, and apparently put up a sign that said, "Hi, I am the in-flight entertainment" because "Friendly Guy" across the aisle starts chatting. He reminded me of one of my brothers, and we had already experienced a slight bonding moment upon boarding – so I do not discourage the conversation. However, I am in competition for his attention with "Slightly Annoyed Blonde Lady" sitting in the window seat of his row. All I am thinking is, 'hey Blondie, if you aren't going to sleep, why don't you take my spot, I'll take yours, and you can have "Friendly Guy" to your self, while I can nap.
I did not make this offer though – because it seemed rather stalkerish – though my motives would have been purely selfish ones which would enable me to have nap time.

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not enjoy flying – I do not enjoy staying awake on planes – and I do not enjoy being extroverted. Yet, there I was, awake, on a plane, enjoying myself, while conversing with a tech-savvy 23-year old who was looking forward to getting home to his girlfriend – a nice girl by the way, met her while waiting for our luggage. Shout out to 'Katie'. Sorry, I am getting way ahead of myself. . .
"FG" and I are chatting and he comments how tempting the snacks for sale are – but that they are not worth the crazy prices. When 60 year old flight attendant comes over and offers snacks, he said, "Tempting, but I had better not". She gave him a cold stare and said, "Okay, Mr. Smart Aleck". His face looked crestfallen (as I think he may have some kind of a 'grandmother complex') I spoke up in his defense, laughing – "No, really, he was just commenting how he was truly tempted by the food, but decided that he should wait to eat until he gets home.". Her face relaxed and she laughed. All was good again and no one was getting tossed off the plane. His obsession of the 60-year old flight attendant did border on "Harold and Maude" but I figure what goes on behind closed doors or under airplane blankets is really none of my concern – unless that airplane blanket is mine.

Over the course of a few hours, we learned all kinds of random facts – about movies; hairstyles; bare feet (not to be confused with 'bear feet' – which is a different fetish altogether); and even that Cindy – the head flight attendant – means business when she tells you to put your laptop away, sir! I was positive there would be a brawl between the guy in seat 16C and Cindy! Unfortunately, he got scared and actually put it away.

When we landed, I think the pilot forgot to hold onto the steering wheel, as the plane did a little shimmy upon contact with the runway – resulting in an echo of "whoa. . ." from the passengers. Not me, though. Apparently, I am no longer afraid of flying, because it didn't even faze me. Yea Me!

On the way to baggage claim, "Friendly Guy" almost killed me in the revolving door – but my quick thinking saved me from being squashed. Of course – our luggage came out last, which is why I was able to meet Katie (the girlfriend) and be the all-time point winner – because I do not have Cingular – nor do I cry at Kleenex commercials (unlike 'FG' who really is quite sentimental I think).

All kinds of hijinks and shenanigans occurred once I left the airport – but those will need to wait for another post!

PERSONAL NOTE: Say hi to the aloe vera plants for me!

CONFINDENTIAL NOTE: Thinking of you.

05 September 2008

Broken Pie Crust Everywhere

Current mood: nostalgic

It's been a few years and I can't deny
The thought of you still makes me crazy
I think about you in the summertime
I'm sittin' here in the sun
With you on my mind
~ "Summertime" by NKOTB

Today, someone told me that I would be in a committed relationship within a year. I assume they consulted the stars or something – because I assure you that I have no intention of fulfilling that prophecy. I have goals – plans – and to be honest, I don't have the patience or the time to play games with little boys who cannot decide what it is they really want. I have grown weary from pie crust promises and empty soliloquies.

If I want to hear flowery words of adoration and romance, I can easily grab some Shakespeare and recite it aloud. You see, I have loved purely and truly before. It wasn't enough. It didn't matter that we were compatible and on the same wavelength most of the time. Loving someone doesn't heal them. Wish it did; but it doesn't.

And if you're ever wondering if love can be true
Well, think of me and remember darling like I, like I do
Old friendships fade away, love falls apart
And you've not spent a single day outside my heart
But, there's just one more dream that I have left for you
I hope you're smiling when he turns around and says I do.
~ "I Do" by Jude

It is my last full day in San Diego and I am working – once again! LOL But, no worries, yesterday I broke down and actually purchased the new NKOTB CD. It is actually quite good. I am definitely digging the new, more grown up sound. Plus, the CD was cheaper than downloading the songs from iTunes. Thank you, Target! And the album insert is pretty nice on the eyes. Those boys aged well and it is obvious why their comeback tour is selling out. Who cares that they are married with children? Up on stage, they are still just Jordan, Jon, Donnie, Joey, and Danny – with scores of adoring, screaming fans. The thing is . . . all of us fans are now in our 30s and know that actually meeting them is never going to happen! I don't know why as teenagers we believed that once they met us, they'd fall as in love as we were. Silly girls - we were!

Hopefully after work, we'll go to the beach, possibly a bar, and I can enjoy some time here without disillusionment and wanting to kick someone in the face!

PERSONAL NOTE: You won't read this anyway . . . so my words are wasted. Still, know that I hold you close in memories.

04 September 2008

Wading through the Fog

Current mood: breezy

I don't wanna stand here and say I'm sorry
I just want to drink beer and play Atari
You can tell your mom how I make my money
I don't care
~ “Atari” by Lucky Boy’s Confusion

Spending the past few days here in San Diego, I have come to the conclusion that it is entirely possible to live a stress-free existence. For the first time in my life, I am able to comprehend how meditation and focus can revolutionize the mindset. Last night, “So Sassy” and I went to Coronado Beach. Google it, if you have never been there.

There we are behind the Hotel Del Coronado!

It is a lovely place and we walked along the water’s edge, allowing the Pacific to splash our feet and cool our minds. The sound of the waves is more relaxing than a full body massage. After walking down the beach, we sat in the sand and just watched the water. It is impossible to understand how San Diegoans do not spend at least 30 minutes at the beach every day.

Every care and worry just washes away with the surf.

Now for a big surprise – I am actually quite handy to have around. I have been hanging shelves, organizing stuff, and even doing a little interior decorating. “So Sassy’s” apartment is looking more and more like a home. It truly is a lovely place and I am looking forward to unpacking that last box so she can relax and enjoy her Shangri-La!

On a completely different topic; I bought a new pair of sunglasses yesterday – for $5.00. Yes, a crisp Lincoln acquired me some shades that make me look like a fashionista! Obviously, they are a knock-off brand of a knock-off brand -- being that cheap. However, I did buy them in Coronado – which must ‘up’ their value considerably!

Also, for those of you who have complained in the past that I text message at odd hours; revenge has been achieved. Being two hours behind y’all has meant that your early-morning texts are arriving before dawn breaks here! Luckily for everyone, I am so relaxed here that it doesn’t bother me one little bit.

I also am becoming accustomed to my healthy breakfast of yogurt and cheerios (courtesy of ‘Surfer Boy’). Which totally reminds me of the unfairness of the breakfast situation out here. In the San Diego office, they have free milk. Yes, free milk, meaning everyone has boxes of cereals on their desk. And when I asked why they get free milk, the associates indicated it was because we get donuts. Um, excuse me??? We get donuts ONCE a month AND they are gross. They are not even good donuts. A gallon of milk costs over 4 bucks. Give me some damn free milk! How does that saying go? “Why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free?” Yes, I understand that the quote is irrelevant with regards to this conversation, BUT – seriously, I want free milk and am not going to go out and buy a cow!

Also, for those who are curious; “Crush Boy” has expressed ZERO interest thus far. He is running out of time; and I am running out of patience. Bloody Hell!


03 September 2008

If You See Me, You’ll See that Nothing’s Broken

Current mood: impatient

There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
~ "Grey Street" by DMB

I am obsessed with the SkyMall catalog! Every time I fly, it sits there in the little seat pocket, beckoning me. "Girl Genius, take a look at all the great gadgets you don't actually NEED – but would use for the mere novelty of it . . . just one glance." And I always look. ALWAYS! I flip through the pages, examining each item and reading the mini descriptions. While I understand that dispensing paper towels with the wave of a hand is not necessary – it would be pretty cool when guests came over.

And why wouldn't I want a pen that makes James Bond jealous? While it doesn't shoot lasers or contain a jet pack, it does allow you to store 1,000 mp3s and record digitally anything you need – discretely, with NO flashing led light. The list goes on and on. I am telling you – the SkyMall catalog contains something that you have always wanted; but never knew existed.

Recently, I ordered a high-tech alarm clock from the catalog – but I won't be able to try it out until I get back to Omi-ha-ha!

While at the airport the other day, I did buy a disposable battery charger for my iPod. It was pretty cheap – and it will provide 16 hours of iPod entertainment if my battery goes dead. Pretty handy if you ask me. I really should get one for my cell phone as well, since I am the absolute worst at remembering to charge my cell phone. I don't know why I have such an issue with keeping it plugged in while not in use.

Okay – well I am sleepy and really need to take an Ephedrine. I don't know why I am so tired – as I am sleeping well out here and enjoying every minute with "So Sassy". Tonight, we get to put up shelves. It should be an evening of constructive design!

PERSONAL NOTE: You are not nearly half as cool as you want to believe you are. Still, I like knowing you.

02 September 2008

This beach is gross; we’re not staying here. . .

Current mood: breezy

If everybody had an ocean
Across the U.S.A.
Then everybody'd be surfin'
Like californi-a
~ "Surfin' USA" by the Beach Boys

Yesterday's moving adventure with "So Sassy" rivaled mine with the level of ridiculousness that it entailed. Still, with the perfection of San Diego – it is near impossible to allow a difficult mover ruin your day! I will be posting pictures later memorializing the many events in all their digital glory!

But we need to rewind a couple days to this past weekend when I was privileged enough to attend an event which has no rival. "CCR's Red Dirt Round-up". To start off, the CCR is not "THE CCR". It is "Cross Canadian Ragweed" – which apparently is a band – and an allergen. The festivities started at Noon – and I did not get there until 2 or so; just in time to be told "the bands suck – we are going to drink someplace cheap until the good bands start".

Okay, then! Off we go to PR's (which apparently is NOT the place to be on a Sunday afternoon, as it was pretty empty with the exception of our party and a few employees). Still, on Sundays, all well drinks and domestic beers are only 1.75. Cannot argue with that! I ordered a Diet Coke. It was not the tasty treat I had been expecting – but soda is not the specialty of the house. I drank water the rest of our visit.

From there, we trekked down to a restaurant at the other end of the Stockyards where we requested a table for 12. They sat us rather quickly – and much to the disdain of the people still sitting at the table where we were being seated. Apparently no one told them that they needed to leave. The table was sloppily wiped down, and the nice table cleaner splashed bleach water haphazardly wherever he could until "Iowa Boy" took the washcloth and finished wiping down the table himself – preventing the bleach solution from splashing everyone around us.

Finally we were seated. Our waitress, Gayle, stopped by to let us know that she would be back to take our drink orders. WTF?! When she returned, we all gave her our beverage choices – which could not have arrived slower than they did. Truly! When Gayle took our order, she was slightly annoyed; but it was hot out and the place was busy, so we were a cooperative bunch. The wind from the fans blew our menus, napkins, and anything else not nailed down off the table and onto the dirty and wet ground. Disgusting, I know!

Shortly thereafter, our food arrived. Gayle and her buddy are setting the food down, calling out orders, which no one is claiming. She handed me a Swiss Cheeseburger with Onion Rings and told me it was mine. I looked at her, slightly confused, as I had ordered a Cheddar Cheeseburger with French Fries.

It was then we noticed, they had only brought 6 of the orders out, but D/BFF, the birthday girl, happily started in on her fries – only to find out that we had the orders for the table next to us. "Never fear" said Gayle, who proceeded to pick up the baskets and actually DELIVER them to the other table. They didn't seem to mind – probably because they knew how long they had been waiting for food. Had we known, we would have held onto the food and made do. What seemed like eons later, our food arrived. It tasted fine – but poor Gayle was 'over us' by then. Somewhere between our table and the kitchen, she had put on bright lipstick – and lost any sense of cordiality that she once had. We were the table of 'lost souls' – a place she never wanted to visit again. And she really didn't. I went to find her to pay our bill with someone else's credit card. I left her a minimal tip, signed the receipt, then went off to return the card to its owner.

After our late lunch/early dinner, it was time to go back to the concert. It is called the Red Dirt Round-up for a reason. It takes place in a rocky field of red dirt and spotty grass. People were sitting or standing everywhere. Between the front gate and where our group was congregating, I must have passed a couple dozen classy couples making out, while sporting sweaty backs and "Hook'em Horns!" tattoos.

After a short stint near the stage, "Iowa Boy" and "Liquid Courage" wanted to go to the Jack Daniels Tent. The bouncers at the tent would not let me bring my bottle of water in – so I guzzled it down – as I was not wasting a $3.00 bottle of water. By the time I got inside, the boys had already ordered their drinks. We found a table – only to be shortly thereafter joined by a bachelorette and her friend – warning us that we could have the drink they had because some guy gave it to them and they thought it had been drugged.

When said guy showed up, wearing his two-tone fancy watch and an arrogant smirk, he reclaimed his drink and handed the very drunk ladies a hundred dollar bill to go buy more. Apparently when he is handing out money – life is good, as the giggle pair went off to buy a few more!!! Unfortunately, for us, once they returned to the table, we had a permanent party! According to "Two-Tone Loc", he's rich and can do whatever he wants! The guy was a douche and we retreated from the table as quickly as we could – though not before the fake, girl fight, which entailed two "best-friends" rolling around in the dirt "fake fighting". One (or possibly both) was 'into' girls because she grabbed my a$$ during the commotion. That was the only time I was hit on while there, though, so I took it as a compliment!

A table later, we met two sweet sisters who were huge Red Dirt Round-up fans. They were fun to hang with and we remained at their table the rest of the night. Somewhere out there, in cyberspace, there is a picture of all of us on one of their phones. I still smile at their look of dismay when they would mention a band or song at the festival, while the three of us stared at them with blank expressions. We hadn't any idea about whom they were talking!

Finally – the night came to an end – we left and I went 'home' and packed for my San Diego trip.

I did not get much sleep Sunday night – making my flight from DFW to LAX a 'really long nap'. I had 3 seats to myself, so I laid across them and enjoyed dream-world, courtesy of American Airlines!

My short flight from LAX to San Diego was on a Regional Jet – which I love, though cannot say the same for the people around me on the flight, as they made comments upon landing about "being grateful to be on the ground" as they thought the plane was going to crash. Whack jobs – all of them. The flight was 23 minutes long, at 11,000 feet. It was a cakewalk!

I had a really nice weekend and I hope that others did too! Until next time. . .

Thanks again for being a go-between and interfering. Much appreciated!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.