09 February 2010

Home on the Range

current mood:

So when you’re done doing whatever
And when you’re through doin’ whoever
You know Denton County will be right here
Waiting for you
~ “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)” by Bowling for Soup

After driving 658.3 miles through pouring rain, blowing snow, and enough construction zones to employ half the nation, I sent out my first mass text in months, letting friends in Texas and Nebraska know that I made it home safely. I then had enough energy to take a bath and stumble into bed for a well-deserved nap. 20 minutes into this nap, my phone rang. The caller ID indicated Private Number. I answered only to have a woman ask why I left her husband a message. I assured her that I did not leave messages for anyone. She then, in angry broken English clarify that I had sent her husband a text message.

She asked if I sent the message by mistake, as her husband was “claiming” he didn’t know me (I could practically see her making the quotes marks in the air with her hands). I said that I had sent a text letting some friends know that I had made it home from Texas to Nebraska. I apologized if her husband received the message by mistake. I asked for his number so I could look it up in my contacts. She then started asking me point blank if I know Jorge. I said I knew no one named Jorge and AGAIN apologized. She gave me Jorge’s number and I said I will make sure to correct my contact info. She offered to call me back later. For what, I am not sure. I assured her that calling me again was not necessary and that I would remove her husband’s number from my phone immediately.

I am sorry, Jorge! Truly I am. It sounds like you have a good woman and I don’t want to get in the way of family stuff. And by the way – I did find the contact info in my phone. It was for a certain “70s Porn Star”. I made sure that I sent HIS wife a text as well. And she responded far nicer than Jorge’s wife did. It pays to be secure in one’s relationship.

It is cold here. Very cold. I don’t care for it.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You are extremely attractive. Truly!

PERSONAL NOTE: You’re so vain; I’ll bet you think that note was about you.

For the very few people I saw, it was wonderful. For the many, many people I didn’t see, I am sorry. This trip really revolved around the twins. I’ll do better next time.

01 February 2010

Deal With It

Current mood:

"Right, birds can fly so high, or they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
~ “Birds” by Kate Nash

The last intersection I cross every morning to get to work used to have a traffic light. Now it has a stop sign. Looking back on it, I am 70% sure I came to a complete stop this morning. Then again, I was in a rush and Lucius Verus doesn’t like to disappoint. Either way, the multiple police cars parked in the bank drive thru (just waiting for people like me) saw a noticeable lack of stoppage. I hadn’t even crossed the intersection when the lights came on behind me.

I pulled into the work parking lot and dug for my wallet. Taking a lesson from my no license plate experience, I had organized my proof of insurance and car registration in a labeled envelope and stowed it in my glove box for easy reference. By the time the police occifer was at my car window, I had everything waiting for him. He let me know that I did not come to a complete stop at the stop sign. I responded with, “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t realize.”

He took my stuff and returned to his car for an excessively long time. I saw him writing A LOT so I knew that a warning was not what I was receiving. When he returned to the car he had a ticket for me to sign “as proof of receipt not of guilt” and a bright yellow card which said I could pay $98.00 to take a four-hour class. I thanked him and then maneuvered around the other cars that had been pulled over for similar transgressions.

Why are these people sitting around by an abandoned intersection at 7am? Couldn’t they be better serving the community by finding car thieves or stopping sex offenders? I am not angry. I don’t pay taxes in Sarpy County so I really cannot expect to dictate how the county spends its money. I’m just saying that pulling 4 people over for not stopping completely at an empty intersection seems silly.

NO matter. In 3 days I will be in Texas. That makes me smile.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.