31 December 2012

Live a Life Extraordinary With Me

current state of mind: nostalgic

Time rolls on; and dreams they die
And I’ve thrown out the pictures I had of you and I
And if you’re ever wondering if love can be true
Well, think of me; remember, darling, like I do
~ “I Do” by Jude

Here is the final post for 2012. Looking at the statistics, I can clearly see I am not living up to my end of the bargain. I have not written nearly often enough to retain regular readers. I am really lucky that anyone is reading this, actually, due to the inconsistency. I’d say it will be a New year’s Resolution; but I think it has been for years and I still cannot seem to keep up the pace. We’ll blame Obama. It’s easier that way.

The new year will be bringing changes; including me finally going through all of my stuff that has been in storage since my move from Texas. While some people would say “Just toss it all since you didn’t need it all this time,” the fact is, a lot of what I have in boxes are “memories”, knick knacks, photographs, etc. These are things that I cannot just throw away without review. I do intend on reducing my physical possessions by 60%. Purging in this manner is emotionally exhausting and can have moments of brutality. This is where an old friend comes in.  First, some backstory . . .

The summer between my junior and senior years in high school I attended the Nebraska Scholars’ Institute (NSI) for two weeks. While there, I made many lifelong friends. One of these friends was a very attractive boy from Columbus, NE. I kissed him once in the front seat of “VeggieGirl’s” car while she was driving and she was not amused. In fact, she was so “not amused” that she pulled the car over to tell us to stop. We did! We stayed in touch through college; found each other years later on FB, and then when he and his wife moved back to Nebraska recently, we came across one another and had coffee.

While catching up on each other’s lives, I happened to mention that I was planning on getting rid of a plethora of belongings because I feel tied down by them. I revealed my fear of having too much emotional attachment to physical objects. ‘Columbus’ said that he does a lot with “all-natural” remedies, including essences, plants, extracts, etc. He told me that he would like to give me a solution which will help me through the process.  I took him up on his offer and this past week he provided me with a dropper bottle filled with some liquid. He explained that I should put 4 drops under my tongue, 4 times a day. He said that the e4ntire experience will be emotional and cathartic and to just go with it, embracing the emotions and the detachment.

I am ready to get started, so I have ingested my first 4 drops. It didn’t taste the best; but I trust my friend’s knowledge and experience with natural remedies. The thing is, I was telling a coworker about it, and he asked what was in it.

“Um, I really don’t know. Here smell it.”

He did; but it brought neither of us any closer to knowing what is in this proprietary ‘brew’. I suppose that it is for the best that I not know. Instead, I am just going to move forward and let it do its magic.

Speaking of magic. . . K-Shrub just called me to tell me that one of her customers gave her some “wonder product” that “detoxifies fat” and makes you skinny. She described it as a really large Crest Whitestrip for fat. And she is convinced it will work, because her friend wouldn’t lie.

HaHaHaHa – She is being ridiculous. She wants to put the before-and-after pictures on the internet for her female friends only – but she is going to photoshop them because she doesn’t want anyone to know how much pregnancy weight she really has. And she reasons logically that if she photoshops the before picture, then she has to photoshop the after picture so that the results are closer to reality. Luckily, you only have to do it once a month. So, yay for the fat detoxifying ‘whitestrip’.

On that note, peace out!

PERSONAL NOTE: I love you!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Thank you for being one of four.

26 December 2012

Reagan and the Bears

current state of mind: sleepy

Searching to find myself
And all I find is you
I could hardly stand myself
So what am I to you?
~ “Every Night” by Imagine Dragons

The world is going to . . .  wait . . . that was supposed to happen on December 21, during the Winter Solstice. I am assuming the world did not end since I am still here. Bloody hell. If we cannot count on ancient stone age societies to know when the world is going to end, on whom can we depend? Compounding matters is NASA, who has publicly announced that Asteroid ‘2011 AG5’ will NOT hit the Earth in 2040. It looks like we are on our own to destroy the world now that celestial help has been shot down, once again, by scientists. One can read all about how the world will not be ending at : http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

This week is filled with excitement; Christmas Eve on Monday, Christmas Day on Tuesday, Boxing Day on Wednesday, my sleep study on Thursday, and hopefully, I will spend Friday with my dragonfly. Then next week, I get to have New Year’s Eve at K-Shrub’s place, New Year’s Day at home, organizing, and then have my root canal/oral surgery on Wednesday. Oh yes, did I forget to mention that the fates have generously bestowed on me a toothache? The best case scenario is that the oral surgeon will retreat tooth #18with a second root canal. Worst-case scenario is that I will have an apicoectomy performed on #18 and a root canal on #19 (just in case). You’ll have to Wikipedia this stuff for an explanation, as I have no desire to make anyone queasy. Moving on . . .

I did a terrible thing on Monday. Firstly, it should be noted that I was functioning on very little sleep and I was in massive pain from my toothache. Secondly, it was Christmas Eve and the emergency dentist could not give me the Christmas present I wanted, which was a pain-free tooth. Therefore, I took another gift in exchange; I walked out of the dentist office with the January 2013 issue of Smithsonian Magazine in my purse. I would like to tell you I did it by mistake; that the disappointment of the day rendered me forgetful. Alas, that would be a lie. I rolled the issue up and shoved it into my purse while I was still in the examination room. Then, I walked right past the table of magazines in the waiting room and went to my car, knowing that I was likely going to get chased down by the dental staff. Except, no one noticed. And thanks to this act of defiance, I will be able to read January’s issue cover-to-cover on someone else’s dime. I’ll throw it back in the mail to them when I have finished . . . maybe.

I have more to say; but other things are calling for my attention. So, until we meet again . . .

PERSONAL NOTE: I appreciate your friendship. I wish we lived in the same state.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Vos es unus of quattuor quod illo vos es infinitus recipero quod diligo.

12 December 2012

Sparkling Little Gems Just Pour Out of My Mouth

current state of mind: comfortable

You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
~”Little Things” by One Direction

I am terrible at remembering song titles. In fact, if providing full disclosure, I am terrible at remembering songs in general. This is never as apparent as when I am in the car with GirlTwin. She can remember every song she’s ever heard; therefore, when I comment on a song, she’ll tell me everything she knows about it. Nothing seems to amuse her more than when I make the same comment multiple times, about the same song, as if it is the first time I have heard it. One such song is “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction. Every time I hear this song, my first thought is, “I like this song. Is it new? I wonder who sings it.” When GirlTwin is in the car, I will state these thoughts aloud; much to her amusement. It took me almost 4 months to remember that I had heard the song before. The thing is, the same situation has happened to me with two other One Direction songs: “One Thing” and “Little Things”. There is something about this “boy band” that makes me love the music; yet still forget I have ever heard it. Thank goodness for the Shazam app. Now when a song comes on that I like, I ‘tag’ it and can keep track via my phone how many times I have liked and tagged the same songs. Oh Technology!

On the other hand, there are songs which no one has ever heard to which I am also exposed on a regular basis; courtesy of K-shrub. You see, she loves to make up parodies of songs to amuse herself and the Dragonfly. In the past couple of months I have heard songs about vampire hunters set to tunes from Disney Classics, songs about cute babies set to dance hits, and of course, songs about K-shrub set to whatever pop song she last heard. Her creativity is brilliant. Her sense of humor is one of the qualities that I pray she passes on to the Dragonfly. Thus far, she is doing a good job.

In addition to singing, K-shrub also has a tendency to display symptoms of Tourette’s with her random comments. Below are just a few I have heard in the past week: 
“There’s no crime on I-80. You know why?. . . Because those state troopers are ‘effin scary. If you want to end crime, you need to put state troopers in the city. . . I’m giving this one to Mike, cause he’s a stand-up comedian and needs all the good material he can steal.”
“There is a snow truck in front of me; it’s dropping snow and ice all over the interstate. . . and my car. Not cool man, not cool.” 
 “I stayed up as late as I wanted to watch TV and I ate cookies for breakfast. I feel like I’m at a point in my life that I can be proud of.” 
 “Someone said that Obama wanted to get rid of Christmas. Is that true? Is he the Grinch? Because I love Christmas, man . . . My house is like Obama Christmas; not a Christmas at all. Trees are so expensive.” 
 “Are you writing these down? I am not demanding that you do; but your blog is always funnier when you write things that I say. I cannot help that sparkling little gems just pour out of my mouth.”
In a few days, I will be heading to the nation’s capital to visit my baby brother, the robotics engineer. While there, I will also be spending time with my friend, the Real Estate Appraiser/Realtor/Photographer. Between the two of them, I am sure that my trip will be filled with fun, adventure, and a lot of nerdy stuff. Yay for smart peeps!

PERSONAL NOTE: I still cannot find my eReader. Bloody hell, man!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I love the fact that you are willing to lose 30 pounds so that you can be a bridesmaid in a wedding which will likely never happen. That is true dedication to friendship!

05 December 2012

It’s a Shame about the Weather

current state of mind: dizzy

It's only love, it's only pain
It's only fear, that run through my veins
It's all the things you can't explain
That make us human
~ “Human” by Civil Twilight

My right contact fell out this morning. I didn't notice until I got to work. I thought that I was just really tired, which generally explains blurry vision. The end result of a missing contact is a headache. There are worse fates.

Last night I went to visit “Gretzky” and “the Dancer” in their new digs. I helped get the washer “ready to use” while “Gretzky” worked on the dryer. No one was electrocuted; most likely because “the Dancer” said multiple times “Don’t get electrocuted.” Once we had the laundry room up and running it was time for movie night. Normally, we would have gone to a movie; but instead I brought over a Redbox. I am actually embarrassed to talk about this since the movie was so ridiculously bad.

Let me preface this with some mildly-interesting disclaimers:

  1. I love Edgar Allan Poe. I mean, I don’t love the man. He was dead long before I was born. I love his writing. I love his imagination. I love the fact that his words have generated an innate and unreasonable fear of being buried alive. I get short of breath and a little panicky just thinking about the imagery.
  2. I love John Cusack. I have adored him since he starred in John Hughes films. He is the epitome of “the guy next door” and I adore him. He has barely aged since “Say Anything” and no one should ever make fun of him, ever. 

Do you know where this is heading? I’ll bet you don’t; if for no other reason than no one saw this movie (and those who did will deny it). The Redbox film (I use the term loosely) that I chose was “The Raven”. It was described as a period thriller about a serial killer stalking 19th Century Baltimore – using Edgar Allan Poe’s imagination as inspiration for his crimes.  John Cusack played Edgar Allan Poe, the alcoholic writer who must help the police and cater to the whims of a madman. 

The movie started off with some lame dialogue; but two very gruesome (and low-special-effects) killings based on two of Poe’s better known stories. Once the pendulum killed its victim, however, the film took a rapid turn into amateur acting and mediocrity. The quotes from Poe’s works were the only highlights worth mentioning. On the other hand, there are many low lights that are certainly worth mentioning. My favorite scene to “recap” is the one where the lead inspector is in bed after being shot. And go . . . 
“Good God, man, you have a bullet in your chest. Let me use this magnet to find it. (He runs a magnet across the left pectoral muscle of the inspector).
(Then to an off screen character) You, over there, put some whiskey on that pillow case. Give the rest to him; he will need it.” (The lead inspector guzzles whiskey as the doctor uses a scalpel to cut into his chest to dig out the bullet.)
I am going to spoil the rest of the movie for you . . . The killer is not clever – instead, the police are really bad at their job. Poe had remarkable penmanship. Printing ink is magnetic. The newspaper owner is killed. The girl lives. The killer is the guy who sets the printing press at the newspaper. He runs away to France to taunt Jules Verne.  Poe chooses to drink poison in exchange for the girl’s life. Poe dies. The lead inspector somehow beats the killer to France, awaits him in the hired carriage, and shoots him. Then the movie ends with some weird animated montage that is definitely NOT inspired by 19th Century events.

You’re welcome!

PERSONAL NOTE: Stay focused on staying focused.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I think you are handsome. 

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.