31 December 2008

Plato Meant What?!?!

Current Mood: Anticipatory

Tonight you're falling in love
Let me go now
This feeling's tearing me up
Here we go now
~ “Shake It” by Metro Station

Last night, after my second job, I went to the sports bar next door where I go every Tuesday night. I ordered a Sam Adams Boston Lager (in a glass) and asked for a menu. Normally, I don’t ask for the menu; but I was damn hungry and the thought of fast food turned my stomach. I always sit at the bar, so I can chat with “Bartender Bob” and “Pretty One”, my brother’s girlfriend. The guy sitting next to me was kind of chatty (and kind of intoxicated) so I was lucky enough to hear the history of Duck Tape.

The Duck Tape story was not as random as one would think, since the guy had a roll of Duck Tape sitting on the bar in front of him. I usually distance myself from guys who bring Duck Tape into social settings; however, I was among friends, so I wasn’t too worried. He explained that he used the tape to “fix” the door until he could come back and actually “repair” it. It seemed like a plausible explanation. Then he kept talking – and shared the entire history of Duck Tape which can be summarized as this – Defense Dept contacted 3M during the Vietnam Conflict – water beads off Duck Tape like Water on Duck’s Back – Air Condition Repair People Changed the Name to Duct Tape – and now you know the rest of the story. . . in response to his story, I asked him a question that was presented to me earlier in the evening, which was, “What did Plato really mean when he was talking about the type of love which we now refer to as ‘platonic’”? Watching a drunk person attempt to articulate a philosophical response is quite amusing. In essence, though, he knew the answer, which was non-homoerotic love for a fellow Greek.

As he is explaining this information, my friend, ‘Mr. Amazing’, walks into the place. Here is where the night got interesting. ‘Duck Tape Guy’ looks at me waving, and then looks at ‘Mr. A’ and glares. Not an annoyed look – but an all-out EVIL EYE GLARE! He then watched ‘Mr. A’ sit down next to me, called “Bartender Bob” over, asked for his tab, signed it quickly, grabbed his coat and stormed out. I called out a “see ya later”, which I know he heard – but he didn’t respond. I then turned to ‘Mr. A’ who was laughing apologetically. I was way confused by the change in attitude, as I hadn’t been encouraging him beyond agreeing to hear his silly Duck Tape story.

The rest of the evening was the norm, two friends hanging at the bar, talking to ‘Bartender Bob’, ‘Pretty One’ and even my brother who came over for a while. ‘Mr. A’ left early, as he had cooler people to see (hee hee). I was home before 10:30, and in bed by 10:45.

PUBLIC NOTE: Tonight is New Years Eve. Please celebrate responsibly; stay out of jail, the hospital, and the morgue!

PERSONAL NOTE: Have fun playing in the sheds tonight!

You are going to realize just how much of a nerd I am when you see the research I did.

30 December 2008

Need to Clean Out My Car

Current Mood: Adored

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
I need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
Been going crazy from the moment I met you
~ “Untouched” by the Veronicas

I brought Gracie from the old house to the new one last night. She always does fine in new locales – however, she does not do fine being transported from one place to another. I didn’t want to put her in her carrier because the stress on me to do so is terrible. She is like a cartoon cat, claws reaching for the carpet, all four limbs spread, to prevent being stuffed into the little Kitty Cab. It is traumatic for all parties.

Using the genius brain with which I have been blessed, I decided that just packing her up in a cardboard box was a better option. She was already playing in one; it seemed so simple. First off, she did not enjoy me interlocking the lid flaps. My roommate suggested I use the carrier; but I was insistent that this plan would work. I put the box in the front seat and went around to the other side of the car. As I fastened my seat belt, Gracie’s head popped through the box flaps, I told her to stop and attempted to push her head back down. She complied, until I made it to the bottom of the driveway. At that point, she used her super feline strength to open the box, and then jump onto the dash. BLOODY HELL!

I couldn’t drive anywhere with her on the damn dash. It was then that my roommate approached the car, knocked on the window, and once again, suggested the carrier. This time she offered to load Gracie into it to minimize the stress. I agreed, out of necessity. Sure enough, she held Princess Grace by the scruff of her neck and locked her in the carrier. Pride wounded, Gracie remained quiet until we were a block down the road.

She then began wailing and meowing, not stopping until I let her out of the carrier at my parents’ house. She digs her new digs though. Her litter box is hidden so Ebie cannot disturb it, and she is getting showered with attention and affection from my sister and Mi Madre. Ridiculously spoiled!

Last night, I actually was quite productive. I hung some curtains, moved and unpacked 4 boxes, washed my bedroom linens, and took a shower. Plus, I fell asleep a little after 9pm. Of course, falling asleep that early meant I was awakened at 3:30am, by Elizabeth whining to go outside. So, she and I trekked outside. I was wearing my feetsy pajamas, so I barely noticed the cold. Once Elizabeth was finished, I stumbled back inside, down the stairs, and into bed, with her little paws pit pattering behind me.

Tonight, I work and am thankful that new Years day is less than 48 hours from now. Cannot wait until 2009!

PERSONAL NOTE: You never told me what the kids thought of the San Diego trip!

Intelligence is an aphrodisiac. Don’t ya think?

29 December 2008

White Rabbit Syndrome

Current Mood: Insatiable

Do you care if I don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay
that there's someone out there who feels just like me?
There is...
~ “There Is” by Box Car Racer

Christmas was interesting, as I fell ill Wednesday night and stayed in bed until Saturday at Noon. I was attacked by the Influenza Outbreak of 2008. Luckily for me, I caught it first – before the rest of my family. Poor dears. They have it now, and I am enjoying the warmer weather (by Antarctic standards)!

Like I said, Saturday I was able to get out of bed and actually run some errands. The first and most important errand was to go tanning, as I haven’t been in some time, and we all know how relaxing it is to sit under the heat lamps! After my 10 minute tropical vacation, I hopped in Marcus Aurelius and proceeded to drive through the parking lot. It was unfortunate that I chose that particular moment to leave, as a bright blue 1995 Eagle Talon, driven by a 19 year old girl, decided that cutting around a truck and across the empty parking spots seemed to be the most viable option to get to Bed, Bath, and Beyond ‘just a little faster’!


My first thought was, “Bloody Hell! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!”, quickly followed by a string of curse words which reminds one of Ralphie in the Christmas Story during his fight scene. I turned the ignition off and opened my door. I attempted deep breathing exercises as I was sure I was going to dive over my injured car and attack the other driver. She also opened her car door, and before I could say anything, she was apologizing left and right, telling me she didn’t see me, etc. Obviously, she didn’t see me; otherwise she wouldn’t have driven into the front end of my vehicle.

All I could mutter was “it’s a new car . . . it’s. . .” Then she looked at the damage and said, “Well, if it helps, my car looks worse off than yours.” No, that didn’t help, but she was young and I couldn’t bear to see her cry. I looked at Marcus Aurelius and sighed. The damage was confined to the front bumper. All superficial damage. All her fault. We exchanged information and called her insurance company immediately, verifying that she was at fault and I was an innocent party. I am supposed to get a phone call today from her insurance company. I have already called and left the adjustor messages. I will not rest until justice is served – or until they get the damn car fixed. Grrrrrr!

On other fronts, I am practically moved into my new place – but not practically moved out of the other. Still, Gracie will be moving today, so she can start adjusting to yet another place to live. At least she will have 2 bedrooms, a storage room, and a living area in which to run around. She can escape from Ebie and still be comfortable. Elizabeth loves her new home, but hates going outside for extended periods of time. Therefore, if she sees me through a window, she will begin barking and not stop until I let her indoors. I try to be strong; but the neighborhood society is a very real threat . . . and everyone knows that you don’t mess with the neighborhood society EVER!

Hopefully, things will quiet down now that Christmas is over. I just wish I could wake up on time so that I am not always running around the house like the White Rabbit.

PERSONAL NOTE: Had a great time at sibling night! Thanks again!

Oxytocin (IPA: /ˌɔk.sɪ.ˈtoʊ.sɪn/) (Greek, "quick birth") is a mammalian hormone that also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain.

22 December 2008

The Nod

“I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And its so surreal
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why
You'd even try
But I won't lie”
~ “Hero/Heroine” by Boys Like Girls

So, yesterday, my sister. Mi Madre, and I went to the mall to pick up a few necessities for the house. We stopped in to see my brother who works in the retail world. The store where he works caters to a very specific clientele; the very cool and those who want to be very cool! When we walked in, I believe the median age doubled. LOL The place was hoppin’ with customers and stressed sales associates. It reminded me why I don’t work in retail. We found a cozy little area by the coats and watched little bro in ‘worker mode’. He looked pretty damn awesome, helping people, wearing his ‘cool kid’ clothes, and being followed around by all the girl customers.

While standing there, Mi Madre hands me the most incredible looking coat. It was a step right out of 1958 and looked like Doris Day may have just set it down, waiting for me to pick up and try on. After I tried it on, I asked to look at the price tag. *GASP* -- 50% off!!! It was my lucky day! Then I saw the wall of hats/beanies. I saw one that had to be mine. On principal (and also because my head is perfectly round) I am not a hat person. But, the coat needed a hat . . . and when I saw this perfect ROXY beanie just hanging there on the wall, I had no choice but to try it on. Then, when little bro said, “Hats are 50% off too” I was sold. Still, a bargain does not guarantee a good look, so I called a family meeting right there in the store and demanded honesty. All 3 gave my new look a thumbs up.

I went and looked in a mirror and may (or may not have) caught a glance from some cute sk8r boi! After I made my purchases, I asked my brother for some last minute advice on the hat. First, I verified that I can wear it indoors and not look like a dork. He confirmed this! Second, I made sure I was wearing it right. He suggested I turn it a little to the right, altering the coolness factor of the hat by vast amounts. I had a new zest for life in my new ensemble.

Unfortunately, as with most things, a book should not be judged by its cover. A dork is still a dork, no matter what they are wearing. As I walked down the mall, when I would see people wearing beanies I waited for some sort of acknowledgement, such as eye contact or the ever-affirming “head nod”. I mean, I was a part of their club now. I was sure, absolutely positive in fact, that my new look would transcend social boundaries. But, no one gave me a nod. Not one beanie wearing cool-kid. In fact, not even the beanie wearing toddlers wheeling by in their strollers acknowledged my hat. Where is the camaraderie?

I mentioned this to my sister, who being the sweetheart she is, acted surprised that more people were not nodding at me. Later, when we had a lunch break with my brother, I mentioned it to him as well. He also acted surprised, though I swear he and my sister shared a look of “really? Just humour her.” I gave up on the mall-faring beanie wearers.

Though, later that evening, when my sister’s friends came over to help us move furniture, one walked in wearing a beanie, and I gave him the head nod, figuring if I acknowledged first, he’d realize that I AM actually part of the club. Yeah, that didn’t work. He most likely thinks I have some sort of nervous disorder which makes me nod my head.

No worries though! I am still wearing the beanie and will continue to do so until someone gives the head-nod!

PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you for being the best book smuggler ever!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I did as you asked. Even used it in context! Ha!

15 December 2008

Wear a Jacket

Current Mood: Frozen!

Let's fall deeper into sleep
Our dreams become fake reality
I wake I hope
I'm on my way to a coast
Where I know the roads like
The back of my hand
Familiar landscapes
~ “Familiar Landscapes” by New Found Glory

The high today is a balmy 7 degrees, Fahrenheit. 7 degrees. S-E-V-E-N. When I awoke this morning, the weatherman said it was -4 degrees outside. Though, this is not entirely accurate because the wind is blowing out of the northwest at a comfortable 15 mph, resulting in a wind chill factor of somewhere in the neighborhood of -20.

I bundled up in my coat and gloves, then went out to start my car and walk Elizabeth. First off, Marcus Aurelius sputtered before starting, which was a concern. Apparently, even brand new cars get a little chilled in this weather. Secondly, the coat and gloves may as well have been still inside for the lack of warmth they afforded. The wind blew through the fabric and chilled my entire body within 15 seconds of being outside. And poor little Ebie. I think her pee may have actually frozen before she was finished going. She looked miserable; shivering and whining. Her ears were folded over and scrunched and her tail was literally between her legs as she ran back to the door. I feel like an awful pet owner when I have to bring her out in this ridiculous weather.

The cold front which is now torturing the Midwest arrived overnight Saturday/Sunday. Going out in it was just as bad yesterday. In fact, last night, instead of being at home bundled up, I went to the Photography Studio’s Christmas party. Elizabeth was my date, as I didn’t have a human equivalent. She enjoyed herself, as she was the center of attention – plus she was given baby carrots to eat. She loves raw baby carrots. I don’t know if she likes the crunch or the flavor; but either way, she was quite pleased to be there snacking on them.

I am currently wrapped in a blanket, wishing that I were home in bed . . . well, kind of. I suppose ‘home’ is a relative term. Still, I would like to be in a heated blanket, reading a book and feeling content with the world.

PERSONAL NOTE: What day should we rent the U-haul?

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Your donation would be greatly appreciated.

09 December 2008

Complacent and Miserable

Current Mood: Annoyed that I cannot access myspace or facebook from work!

i want to save you
i need you
to save me too
i want to save you
and she won't sleep
she won't sleep
and she won't sleep
at all
~ “I Want to Save You” by Something Corporate

Give me space but I can't breathe
Give me space but I can't sleep
Give me just one inch I swear that's all I need
~ “Space” by Something Corporate

Travel. I love to travel. And now that my fear of flying seems to have abated, I am doing far more travel than I originally thought I would. As 2009 approaches, I look at my travel itineraries and smile at the thought of all the places I will be going. In January/February/March, I will be visiting Orlando, Fort Worth, New York, and Las Vegas. I also hope to finagle a weekend in Phoenix/Scottsdale, if budget and time permit. I’ve never been to Arizona.

I also need to figure out where I want to live and in what direction my life needs to go. I have a plan – but since even the best laid plans go awry, I may need several contingencies.

Yesterday, I finally went to the courthouse and paid my court fees and fine from my accident. The county and I are straight! The girl in front of me was not so lucky. She was in paying the fine for her boyfriend and had to call him because she didn’t know his birth date. I don’t know about you, but I would never pay someone’s fine unless I knew their date of birth by heart. Paying court fines seems to indicate a level of familiarity which requires the knowledge of a birthday.

Birthdays are funny things. I have friends who revere their birthday while others pretend that they don’t have one. My family has always been one that celebrates birthdays with no inhibitions. We drop “hints” to everyone around us . . . so that everyone remembers to celebrate in our honor. And when asked to do something by a family member, we call “birthday rule” as soon as we possibly can – generally a week or two before our actual birthday. This means that we cannot be expected to do anything we don’t want to do. It’s great if there is a movie you’ve been dying to see that no one else does, because you can say “birthday rule” and they have to go with you. Ha – no free will for you, non-birthday person!

On that note, my birthday is August 24. I’ll be 33. I’m cool with it.

PERSONAL NOTE: We need to talk. I want to hear about court!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I will hold you to that promise. Have no doubt.

04 December 2008

I miss the beach

Current mood: cold

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same
~ "Everybody's Changing" by Keane

GRRRRRRR. I woke up this morning. That was my first mistake. From there, it all went downhill. First off, I overslept AGAIN! Meaning that I have crazy hair at work – which makes me look like a preschooler who refused to have her hair brushed. It's all up in a clip, which confines the craziness, but doesn't really mask it from view. It truly is my own fault for going to bed with wet hair. I think matters were complicated by Gracie nesting in my hair last night while I slept. I woke up several times while she was kneading my head and hair. When I would move her, she simply meowed, then returned to her original location on my pillow. Ridiculous cat!

When I did hop out of bed, Ebie growled and groaned, not wanting to get up. Her reluctance was nothing compared to her reaction to the bitter Antarctic cold that greeted us when we went out for her morning potty break. She turned to run back inside, only to find the door closed. Hey, I was out there suffering with her. I started the car to warm it up and she leaped over me to land in the passenger seat. She really did not want to be outside. I had to coerce her out of the car with promises of unlimited cinnamon twists from Taco Bell. She will not be pleased to know I lied. Not one bit.

My housemate has a down comforter that can keep a human warm in temperatures well below zero degrees Fahrenheit. I don't have such a comforter. I sleep on a heating pad and under two comforters. I wear ridiculous looking footie pajamas and a beanie to bed each night. I huddle against my dog for warmth. I was so not born to live in a place where the cold permeates the bones and the psyche. Honestly, I think that the frigid air may destroy my sense of morality. I may actually steal 'Veggie Girl's' comforter and leave her with nothing but a sheet!

At work, I am wrapped in a flannel blanket while sitting at my desk. I am tempted to put on my gloves, but figure that they will inhibit my typing ability. Heaven knows I don't need anything which will make me type worse than I already do.

On a more serious note – as if me freezing to death isn't serious enough – I am moving again soon and could sure use some assistance. Anyone? Anyone? *crickets chirping* Bloody Hell!

PERSONAL NOTE: Hope you got that pizza dough situation worked out.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Congrats on getting laid!

01 December 2008

You Are My Sunshine

Current mood: blissful

Buy me a shiny new machine
that runs on lies and gasoline,
And all those batteries we stole from smoke-alarms,
Disassembles my despair.
It never took me anywhere.
It never once bought me a drink.
~ "Reconstruction Site" by the Weakerthans

Thanksgiving was amazing with my family. Though something was brought to my attention that I hadn't quite realized. . . I am very tan. Yes, for those of you who haven't seen me lately, compared to my normal, pale, ghostly self, I look 'sun-kissed'. You see, I have been tanning; but not for the normal reasons other people tan. I don't care if I look dark or light. I'm Irish for goodness sake, I should be translucent.

However, I am not translucent. I am a golden color that can only be achieved through many 10 minute sessions under fake sun rays (or in the sun, if you have an actual sun to use). I am in the middle of an Omi-ha-ha winter and no sun can be found. Therefore, the only place I can truly warm up is in the tanning bed. I admit it; I tan because I am a wimp in the cold.

So, my sister's boyfriend, 'The Writer', arrives at Thanksgiving dinner and says, "Wow, you look great. Love the tan." Apparently he had been expecting me to look corpse-like. This prompted 'The Pretty One' to comment as well. It was then that I had to explain to my family that I am paying a ridiculous amount of money each month going to a tanning salon so I can actually be exposed to warmth and Vitamin D. I lie there in the well-lighted-coffin, also known as a tanning bed, and pretend that I am on the beach, with the wind blowing (courtesy of the cooling fans) in my face. It's almost like being in Paradise for 10 minutes. Almost.

PERSONAL NOTE: That truly was the longest minute ever . . . still it is to be expected from someone known for letting people go after receiving a beep via call waiting.

Your first confidential note. I want free books! LOL

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.