20 July 2010

Saying Goodbye

Current mood: grateful

But somehow she got a postcard in the mail
That just said Heaven with a picture of the ocean and the beach
And the simple words he wrote her
Said he loves her and they told her
How he'd hold her if his arms would reach
~ ‘Wish You Were here’ by Mark Wills

For the past few years, every time I left town, I would buy a postcard or two and send them to my grandpa. I had my friends bring back postcards from their travels, so I could mail those too. In fact, at this moment, I know that NBF has already selected some postcards in Europe for me to send to my grandpa. Unfortunately, they won’t get here in time for me to mail them. Still, on Saturday, I told my grandpa that they had been purchased so he knew they would be forthcoming. I told him how very much I love him and also how grateful I am for all of the love he has shown me. And then I said, ‘Goodbye’, reminding him that he owes me a postcard once he gets “there”.

I am blessed because I had grandparents through my entire childhood and well into adulthood. Most people are not so lucky. I have also been lucky enough to be able to say my farewells to one grandmother and one grandfather. My maternal grandmother was in hospice for some time and I visited her for that last conversation, one that I will treasure forever. And once again, time was on my side, and I was able to have that same experience with my grandfather. He will be gone soon, and I am comforted by our final words.

It was explained to me once that death is God’s way of making room on Earth for the next generation. I am ‘good’ with that logic. It makes sense to me. I don’t fear death or whatever happens after we leave this life. No matter how many doubts attempt to creep into my mind, innate beliefs reassure me that there is no finality to our love. My grandfather led an amazing life. He set examples that I will forever try to emulate. While I do not have his green thumb, I do have other legacies from him, which include a love of reading, learning, and being an overall, good person.

While I don’t expect to receive an actual postcard in the mail, I know that his message will get sent in one form or another. I eagerly await its delivery.

PERSONAL NOTE: Have an amazing time in Amsterdam!

07 July 2010

What Happens Here Stays Here

current mood: nervous

Everything is not what it seems
When you can have what you want by the simplest of means
Be careful not to mess with the balance of things
Because everything is not what it seems
~ “Not What it Seems” by Selena Gomez

In a couple of weeks, my darling NBF will be heading across the pond to spend two weeks backpacking through Europe with one of his best friends. I will remain here, in the wild and crazy Midwest, going through the storage garage and hopefully, reducing my belongings to 50% of the current volume. I have boxes and boxes of books, kitchen items, and other very nice household goods which need to be relocated in exchange for cash. The books will likely end up at “Half Price Books” since I don’t have the time or energy to catalog the collection for resale. All of the other stuff, however, will be sold to the highest bidders. I have A LOT of stuff and most of it was used for less than a year before being packed up, unceremoniously transported from Texas to Nebraska by movers of ill repute, then placed in a storage unit. I will be going through everything, taking photographs, repacking anything I want to keep into sturdy Rubbermaid tubs, and putting the rest on Craigslist. I am not talking about low-quality plastic dishes, etc. I have 8 full place settings, plus all of the accessories and baking pans for the ‘Sango’ Nova Black stoneware collection. It is lovely and while I will miss it greatly, I feel ridiculous having it sit in storage when someone could be using it.

My goal is to safely repack and store everything I am keeping before I participate in the 2010 Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure, July 30 – August 1. I honestly don’t know which will be a prouder accomplishment. I am a horrible procrastinator when it comes to thinning out my personal belongings. I crave stability in my life so desperately that I often confuse simplifying with sacrificing. The two are not the same and it has taken me 30 years to figure it out. If anyone has any suggestions for downsizing a life, please contact me. I can use all of the pointers (and encouragement) that are offered.

This week, however, I am not focused on simplifying anything. This week, I have an interview for a different position at work, and a Series 63 exam to pass. In celebration of passing my Series 63 (which I will do) NBF and I are going to see Barenaked Ladies at Stir Cove. I have never seen them live and I know it will be a Canadian treat of the highest order.

For those who don’t know, I have reached my personal goal of raising $2,500 for the 3 Day this year. The rest of my team is progressing along; but could use some assistance, especially from people whose employers match donations. Check out our website: www.SBPS3Day.com and click on ‘Meet the Team’ . Each member’s total and a link to their donation page are listed. Feel free to donate to anyone under $2,300. Even $5.00 will help us meet our goal!

Send good karmic thoughts my way as I follow my path to success!

PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you, again, for such a wonderful weekend. Spending time with each of you made it special!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.