30 March 2009

Whooooo Arrrrreeeee Yooooooou?

Current Mood: centered

This is smaller than you know
No bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road
Let it Go Let it Go
Got to leave it all behind you
Give the sun a chance to find you
~ “Let It Go” by Great Big Sea

It has been almost 3 months since I made the New Years Resolution to live in the present – taking life one day at a time. I resolved to worry a little less and laugh a little more. I vowed to find the joys in today instead of waiting for ‘something better’ tomorrow. I have made plenty of New Years resolutions in my lifetime. Most lasted a few days or a few weeks. Most often, I chose something which could be measured and evaluated. That’s the type of person I have always been – one who measures herself and her life up against a standard. Sometimes that standard is low – most often it is impossible. I remember in high school and college creating motivational signs for myself that said “Anything Less than Perfection is Failure; and Failure is NOT an Option!”

As March comes to a close, I look back on the past 3 months. My life is FAR FAR FAR from perfect – and is such a deviation from what I had once planned that it’s hard to believe that I am the same person who created those signs. Surprisingly though, I have never been as calm and centered as I am now. I have discovered that my Type A personality can be tamed. I like waking up in the morning and being content. I enjoy not being in control of every aspect of my life. It is okay that I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.

I am nowhere close to where I want to be 12 months from now. I constantly want to improve and be better. I want to get healthier and happier and create a more stable situation than the one I have now. We are human and we need to evolve in order to be happy. I truly believe that. But wanting to have future successes does not mean that all I currently have are failures. I am surrounding myself with healthy relationships. I have made true changes – releasing the negativity and fear and passive aggressiveness which have plagued me for a very long time. Have I completely quit worrying? LOL -- not even close – but I am a hell of a lot better than I used to be – and it gets easier with each passing day to let things go.

Things I used to dwell on for days or weeks may now only consume my thoughts for hours. This is progress. Can it be measured? No. And my level of success can definitely not be evaluated with any accuracy. I am in free fall most of the time – like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. I am learning to enjoy the scenery- because life is pretty damn short and I have some amazing moments to cherish every single day. I am studying for the LSAT and willing to ride roller coasters. I will try new things (with coaxing) and have stopped worrying that I won’t excel at something.

Who would have thought that it would only take 90 days to look at life in a whole new light? What can you do in 90 days? Try to find out!

PERSONAL NOTE: Thanks for lunch and for being in my life.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Choose the life you want – and it will be easier to stay true to it.

23 March 2009

Breakfast, Bloody Breakfast

Current Mood: smitten

Out of the atmosphere, into the stratosphere
Over the milky way, into the new frontier
You take me to a place I’ve never been before
You turn my everyday into the evermore
All you do makes me feel alive
~ “You, You, You” by All Star United

Every morning, I feed the three dogs on the back porch. Due to Ebie’s food guarding issues, I place each bowl at least 6 feet from the others so that everyone is happy. I always feed Ebie first, so she is busy with her bowl when I place the other two down. This has been a successful method for the past 3 months. Today, well, today, it appears that this method is no longer successful. As soon as I closed the sliding glass door, I heard low growling, then the heated growling that is accompanied by fighting and yelping.

By the time I made it back to the door, Romeo and Ebie were both fiercely attempting to get at a bowl of food. Usually, in a confrontation, Romeo backs off, letting Elizabeth have her way. He must have hit his limit of her bullying, because he was pissed and letting her know it. Elizabeth’s face was covered in blood. As soon as I called her name, she ran to me and Romeo looked at me with an apologetic expression.

Once inside, I grabbed a towel and attempted to see where the blood was coming from, rather fearful that her eye or face was torn open. She wanted NOTHING to do with me wiping her off. She kept backing away, tail between her legs. With persistence, I was able to determine that her face was fine; but her chin was bleeding from a small gash, most likely made when she pulled her head out of Romeo’s mouth. I had blood on my hands, was running late for work, and still needed to get her cleaned up.

Papa came downstairs and asked what happened. I explained and he used his stern voice to make Ebie stand still so he could clean up her chin and mouth. She was much calmer after he attended to her; most likely because she no longer sensed my panic. Once her chin stopped bleeding, I sent Elizabeth downstairs to her “Aunt Kabie” and left for work.

I truly hope she has learned her lesson with this little skirmish. She got off lucky – with no real injuries. Romeo finally stood up for himself, which is appropriate since he outweighs Ebie by at least 60 lbs. I will begin feeding her inside while the boys eat outside. This seems to be the safest route to take. When no food is involved; they all get along like best friends. Dogs are weird!

PERSONAL NOTE: Only 5 days and you will be here!!!! Woo hoo! I cannot wait!!!!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I adore you; even if you support arachnid rights.

18 March 2009

Define Awkward

Current Mood: amused

Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (Yeah yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer...Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
~ “A Complicated Song” by Weird Al Yankovic

I really enjoy people dressed up as characters. Walt Disney World was massively entertaining. It is expected that adults and children, alike, should delight in the Princesses, Mickey Mouse, Minnie, and the rest of the Gang! I do not see why things should be any different outside of the Magic Kingdom. Therefore, I thought nothing of the fact that last night at ‘Red Robin’ I asked the waiter to bring the restaurant’s mascot, a giant Red Robin, to our table so my sister and I could say, “hello”. After the bird was done entertaining the kid’s birthday party, a handler brought her to our table. I shook her hand and my sister gave her a ‘high five’ without using her Borat voice. *This made me very happy – as her Borat impression makes me want to kick her sometimes*

Shortly thereafter, my sister asked the busboy for a balloon which had been abandoned by the 5 year old who had been sitting with his parents at the next table. He happily handed her the balloon, most likely pleased he did not have to carry it around the restaurant. ‘Kabie’ went to untie it so she could inhale the helium.


The moment the balloon touched her mouth, it popped in her face. The look of surprise on her face sent me into a fit of giggles. Her comment, “Oh no, that did not go as I had planned”, only further fueled the laughter. Other patrons were looking at us, also smiling or laughing. Poor ‘Kabie’. She really wanted that helium. Never fear, though, she pretended that she had been able to inhale and began speaking in a high pitched voice anyway.

It being St, Patrick’s Day, we asked our waiter ‘Chuck’ (name has been changed to protect the guilty) why he wasn’t wearing any green. He let us know that he celebrates St, Patrick’s Day in his own way, prompting us to ask how he celebrates it. He looked around and then said in a conspiratorial whisper, “by smoking as much green as I can” then he laughed. I looked straight at him and said, “I don’t get it.” Now, I DID indeed “get it”, but I found it amusing to pretend that I didn’t. A look of confusion crossed his face. ‘Chuck’ inquired in all seriousness, “Really? Ah, wow.” He didn’t want to elaborate further, so I let on that I was joking, which inspired him to tell me that he hadn’t been joking about ‘the green’. We tipped him well, since he will most likely lose his job after the next mandatory drug test.

Never a dull moment when I go out with my sister – NOW, onto my awkward moment of the day:

I received an Instant Message asking for a friend’s mailing address in Fort Worth. I jokingly asked, “Why? Are you inviting her to the wedding?” *insert laughter here* “Yeah, actually, we are. We thought we sent her an invitation; but now we cannot find her address, so we need to make sure she gets one.”

This was the first time I have ever had an ex-husband ask me for one of my friend’s mailing addresses so she could be invited to his next wedding. It is bound to happen to everyone sooner or later -- right?

PERSONAL NOTE: I want to see that movie this weekend.

16 March 2009

Heads Up Does NOT Mean Put Your Head Up

Current Mood: satisfied

Don't worry about a thing.
Keep taking it easy.
This time it's not personal.
The universe will help you now.
To find a place you can breathe. And do what you've got to do.
~ “Four-Leaf Clover” by Badly Drawn Boy

You know those moments where you speak without thinking of the repercussions of what you are about to say? I am the queen of such moments. Just a few minutes ago, I spotted my friend, “Mr. Awesome”, and his buddy (whom I do not know). It seemed the opportune time to state the following: “Hey, I have your shirt at my desk. I’ve been meaning to get that back to you.” True, it’s not as bad as the time I asked one of the most popular guys in my class how long and hard an assignment was; still, I blushed at the implication my statement made, even though it was 100% innocent. Plus, I am sure it was just as embarrassing for my friend who probably didn’t feel like explaining why some female co-worker has his shirt in her possession. Why couldn’t I have said, “Thanks again for loaning me that Creighton Shirt, I have it at my desk,”?

I suppose I am lucky I could even identify “Mr. Awesome” since I have misplaced my glasses and cannot wear my contacts due to both eyes being noticeably bloodshot and slightly swollen. Where is Ben Stein and his bottle of ‘Clear Eyes’ when I need him most? Stein? Stein? *not-so-subtle ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ reference* Thus far today, I have walked into 2 doors, missed the trash can when throwing something away, and been unable to distinguish anyone’s identity until I was within 3 feet of them. For those of you worried that I may be driving with this impairment – stay off the roads between 4 and 5 today. Consider that fair warning!

Since we are on the subjects of hand/eye coordination AND embarrassment, let’s combine the two topics to discuss the volleyball tournament I was in this weekend. Many of you have seen me play volleyball. Well, I have discovered that without the ‘Nazi Coach’, I am even worse than I remembered. In my defense, I did try to follow the directions given by the team captain. Unfortunately, when it comes to volleyball, I have a theory, and it would serve future team captains to listen to it:

If someone has NO volleyball talent, it is better to just tell them to “get the ball over the net” and not attempt to give them instruction beyond this one goal.

Here is why, my chances of getting it over the net are far better than my chances of hitting the ball in a controlled manner so ‘real volleyball players’ can set or spike it. I know that this is hard to understand for people who actually have coordination. I assure you, though, that I have been the ‘token female player’ on volleyball rec league teams since I was 14 years old. That means for the past 16 years, I have studied the game (and players like me). I have yet to see success come from demanding controlled ball handling from someone who is shocked any time she even makes contact.

Based on this assessment, I am hopeful that you can envision the Saturday experience. My team had talent. I do not. I am not saying that I dragged them down – but I sure didn’t lift them up either. I think we played pretty well for a hodgepodge group that had never played a game together. Still, I don’t foresee ‘Capt. KG’ calling me up the next time she has to fill a team roster. LOL All of this being said, I’d sure enjoy being on a sand volleyball team this spring/summer. So, if you are in a ‘beer league’ and need another girl, let me know. I’ll happily be a sub!!

While I am discussing athletics, I am also in search of a tennis partner. The requirements are simple; the partner has to be better than I am (no issue there, I assure you) but also willing to help me improve my game (herein lies the problem). I was told by my tennis instructor in college that I have innate tennis ability, if I would just focus. I was also paying him. Therefore, saying anything else would have been less lucrative.

PERSONAL NOTE: The LSAT is June 8th. We have a LOT of work to do. Perhaps more discipline is needed. Hee hee

Don’t forget my postcard and a photograph of the Burj al Arab – if you can get it!!!!

09 March 2009

Land Ho, Matey

Current Mood: infatuated and remarkably centered

Been looking forward to the future,
But my eyesight is going bad,
And this crystal ball,
It’s always cloudy except for
When you look into the past
~ “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” by Fall Out Boy

I love the water. I berate myself on a weekly basis because I have elected to live a landlocked location. I love the ocean and the sense of peace that washes over me as the surf kisses my feet on a sandy beach. Knowing this, you will soon see why Saturday afternoon was an unexpected treat.

My sister was sitting at her computer desk when I came downstairs after a long, hot shower. It had been a rough night the evening before, so the grime of going out was finally washed from me. I ran down the stairs, stepped over the comforter that was sitting on the floor and grabbed a brush to attempt to detangle the snarls from my hair. I glanced in at my younger sis and remarked on how shiny her bedroom floor looked. I said she did a great job of cleaning the painted cement floor. Her blank expression prompted me to take another look at her ‘shiny’ floor.

“Bloody Hell!”

Sure enough, the “shine’ was water. The basement was flooding. At closer examination, the furnace/storage room, the walkway from the stairs to my sister’s room, and ¼ of her bedroom floor, were ¼ inch deep with water. She started to curse, splashed through and pointed to a basket filled with used towels. We start mopping up the water; but there are obviously not enough towels in the house to soak up the volume of water seeping under the wall. I glance in my room and only see a damp spot right by the door. Luckily for me, leaving my dirty comforter on the floor in the entryway of my room meant that I had created a buffer zone. True, the comforter was soaked; but my room was dry. Clutter - 1; Neatness - 0

In a moment of clarity, my sister ran upstairs and retrieved the wet vac. Unfortunately, neither of us knew how to actually use it. She made the executive decision to grab the digital camera and film the disaster area while I tried to vacuum up the water. I haven’t seen the footage; but I am sure it will be on 'you tube' before you can say "That really hurt, Charlie".

Other than the flooding misadventure and being told my body fat percentage is in the "obese" category, it was a good weekend. I saw “The Watchmen” at the IMAX. If you liked “The 300” but wished that the Spartans would have been naked – then you will REALLY like “The Watchmen”, as the CGI effects on Dr. Manhattan include a very naked and very anatomically correct blue man sans loincloth. This movie is NOT for children or for those who are not going to enjoy graphic violence (think exploding human bits on the ceiling) and a couple soft porn sex scenes (think "9 1/2 Weeks"). I, however, am a big fan of both, so I give the film 4 and a half out of 5 stars. I preferred “the 300”, due to the story line, but was so impressed with the film that I want to read the book. DC Comics did well!

I know there was something else I was supposed to mention – but it escapes me. Grrrr! Maybe I will remember later - Doubtful!

PERSONAL NOTE: Thanks for the invite yesterday. It was fun! Tell Calgary Justice (and the rest of the gang) that I enjoyed meeting them.

Wishes are for Fishes! You are still one of the few people to whom I enjoy talking on the phone. It sucks that we don’t do it more often!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.