current state of mind: thoughtful
Is it all in my head?
Is it all in my head?
Could everything be so right
Without me knowing?
~ ‘All in my Head’ by Shawn Mullins
I hate to sleep alone. When I was younger, I despised sharing a room with a sibling; but I loved sleeping with them. There is nothing that compares to cuddling up with a loved one until you fall asleep. Being the oldest of 6 kids, I could pretty much always find someone who wanted to sleep in big sister’s room. For as far back as I can remember, I have slept with a stuffed animal in my bed. Between the ages of 8 and 22, I slept with a stuffed panda named Balthazar. He is one of those animal pack-packs that can be unzipped and stuffed with pajamas for a sleepover. My mom removed the shoulder straps so I wouldn’t strangle myself in the middle of the night.
When I was married to husband #1, he wasn’t overly fond of having a large panda bear in bed with us. So, he was replaced with a very small stuffed goose that could be stored in my pillow case and clutched in the middle of the night during a nightmare. After my 2nd wedding, I had a build-a-bear named Brian Boru that sat on the nightstand next to the bed. And the aforementioned goose was replaced by a gift from husband #2 – a small stuffed lamb which I named “Lambie” -- that is until one morning when GirlTwin came running down the stairs with a very important message. She was out of breath and rather worked up. “The new kitty and Lambie got into a fight. Kitty won.” Then she brought us to the carnage site; dear, sweet Lambie was lying there sans her left leg. The missing leg was approximately a foot away, under the paw of a very possessive Princess Grace. GirlTwin was very stern and began a lecture in the direction of the feline assassin. “Bad kitty! Lambie isn’t yours. She belongs to Juwian (phonetic spelling based on her pronunciation).” We recovered the leg and sewed it back on; but Lambie was relegated to a high shelf so that further damage could not be done.
Now a small Cheshire Cat resides on my bed. He spends his days sleeping in Elizabeth’s doggie bed, which has a permanent home on my bed. Balthazar, Brian Boru, the goose, and Lambie are in a Rubbermaid tote box with their other stuffed friends – Kyle, Queen Eleanor, Christopher Marlowe, Plucky, and many others. While a majority of my stuffed friends have been gifted to loving children, I have found that there are some with whom I am not ready to part. So, when I wake up in the middle of the night and reach for a companion to chase away my fear of the dark, I can be confident that I have a contingency army in place until I have a life partner who wants the job.
PERSONAL NOTE: Please accept my condolences on the loss of your PawPaw.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Liberating, indeed. Thank you.