current state of mind: frazzled
I woke up to a new day; every little thing gonna go my way
I woke up to a perfect thought; every little thing in a perfect spot
Now I’m gonna use my own voice; I’m gonna sing the song of my choice
I woke up to a light bulb on; every little thing is possible now
~ “Bright Idea” by Mother Mother
I live to learn. As long as the instructor can teach me something, I am generally game for learning; even when the content is less than exciting. My love for learning is off the charts, however, when I have interest in the content AND my instructor can teach me something. Currently, I am prepping for my first Torts exam of the term. I am NOT ready, by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, I have done my reading and taken notes; however, due to a work obligation I missed 4 hours of lecture, last week, which covered a majority of what will be on this essay exam. The nice thing is, once I turn the exam in, I can stop worrying because it is out of my control.
Note: I will primarily be letting go of the worry because I have a presentation to prepare for my Employment Law class on Wednesday. Of course, I have procrastinated on the presentation – because that is what I do when I have an upcoming exam.
Unfortunately, due to the nerves of not feeling prepared for the exam, I cannot eat anything. Even the thought of a soda cracker makes my tummy clench up and want to revolt in protest. I remember when I was terrified of thunderstorms (I know many of you remember as well, since I carried that ridiculously loud weather radio with me everywhere) and for almost 3 months, the only foods I could keep down if there was a cloud in the sky were chocolate pudding and saltines. And while I enjoyed the weight loss that accompanied this restrictive diet, I did not enjoy feeling sick all the time. Luckily, I still love chocolate pudding cups and could probably eat them every day if I permitted myself to buy them.
Where is this going? One sec. Let me gather my thoughts. I am slightly distracted at the moment and really am not even sure what I was going to write about in the first place . . . *breathe* . . . okay, skip the pudding talk and move back to Torts and learning. In the first lecture, our instructor told us that our book was really dry and that we’d just have to push through it. I disagree. I LOVE reading about Intentional Torts and Privileges and Defenses. Anyone who claims that Prosser is not an exciting guy should be flogged in a public venue for their idiocy. Just sayin’!
Why is it, however, that I can love this material and still feel so unprepared for the essay exam? It’s because I strive for perfection. My motto used to be: “Anything less than perfection is failure and failure is not an option.” I want to keep my 4.0. I want to write the best essay in the class and kill the curve (if there is one). I am THAT girl!
PERSONAL NOTE: I love you, girlfriend. I will never waver in my respect and affection for you. His actions are not a reflection on you – they are a reflection on him. And an ugly one at that!
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Looking forward to the multi-tasking experiment. Game on!