07 August 2008

There’s emptiness inside her; she’ll do anything to fill it in

Current mood: accomplished

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
And fly away to somewhere new
~ "Holiday in Spain" by Counting Crows

I have new career aspirations. The idea came to me in a dream. . . not really. Still, let's pretend it did. I was playing on the beach with little kids. And as the minutes ticked by, I could see my bank account balance going up, up, up. Fade out, then right back in, and now the same little kids are in their house, and I live there too, in a guest suite. They call me Nanny. And when I say wise things in a British accent, magic happens. (well, that part is from the show Nanny and the Professor). Anyway – my new plan is to become a nanny to an upper-middle class family in Southern California.

I have good references. Hell, my ex-husband AND his ex would both write me stellar reviews for my ability to care for young children. I have years of experience. I can also clean, cook, and do laundry. I run errands and LOVE to grocery shop. Plus, I am bi-lingual (not really), great at math (again, not so much), and can help with homework (yes, I definitely can do this part). I am telling you – any family would be damn lucky to have me as their au pair. Are you listening people????

The only other option is to marry someone (oh what fun that would be – I just love getting married) who can afford to pay my bills, while I don't work outside the home. In fact, if I had my choice, I'd like to not work inside the home either. I'd like to read, play with Elizabeth, and take naps during my "work day". Maybe, order take-out and have Mr. Moneybags pick it up on his way home from the office. I have a feeling that this little scheme is not any more likely than me becoming a Nanny in SOCAL.

I need a Plan C. Any ideas? I tried getting a hold of that woman who spent 'quality time' with Elliot Spitzer – but she wasn't taking calls – so I will have to wait until her book comes out to find a way to make the kind of money she was making.

PERSONAL NOTE: Your secret is safe with me - for a price.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.