Now he's
marching towards scaffold
Head erect
he shows no fear
And while
standing on that scaffold
Ireland
cross he holds so dear
~ “Tom
Williams” by Flying Column
When I
arrived home on Thursday afternoon, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and
relax after a stress-inducing day. Five minutes after lowering myself into my
amazing Turkish-style bathtub, my phone rang. It was K-Shrub, and I ALWAYS
answer her calls because she could give me a nephew any day. This particular
time, however, there was no announcement of labor or hospitals or babies.
Instead, she wanted to “chat”. I let her know that I was trying to take a bath,
to which she responded, “Oh, that’s cool. I need you to talk to me until after
I get gas for my car.” I agreed to her terms because she is pregnant and
uncomfortable and she just wanted someone to talk to while she was filling her car
with fuel.
When I tried
to say “goodbye” after she was back on the road, she explained that she just
wanted to talk to me until the air conditioning cooled the car off. Again, I
agreed, knowing that her car cools off rather quickly. Twenty minutes into the
phone call, I realized that she was not going to let me off the phone until she
was in her apartment – a 45 minute drive. I let the water out of the bath and
put on some comfy clothes. I opened a beer, grabbed my Nook, and started
reading while listening to K-Shrub talk.
30 seconds into this process, she
asked, “What are you doing?”
I responded,
“Listening to you.”
She paused, then said, “No you aren’t. You’re reading. I
can tell.”
I put the Nook down and replied, “K-Shrub, I am not reading. I am
listening to you.” (Note: This was true as at the time I was no longer
reading.) I then spent the next half an hour chatting. Any time I attempted to
get off the phone, she reminded me that once the baby is born she won’t have
time to talk to her big sister like she wants to, so . . . you get the point.
Finally, she
arrived in her parking garage and said that after she walked the two blocks to
her apartment, she would let me hang up. Seeing the light at the end of the
tunnel, I actively engaged in conversation.
About a block from her house,
K-Shrub started whispering, “There are a lot of blind people outside my
building again. I wonder why they are always outside the building.”
I asked why
she was whispering and she explained that when you lose one sense, the others get
stronger and she didn’t want them to here her talking about them being in front
of her building. Fair enough!
As she passed them to walk into her building,
K-Shrub chatted with them about the weather. Before the door closed behind her she
shouted, “See ya!”
At this specific choice of words, I burst out laughing and the beer I was drinking came out of my nose.
“Why are you laughing?” she asked.
“K-Shrub,
you just said “See ya!” to a group of blind people.
“Ooops! I didn’t mean
anything by it. I was just being nice.”
I just shook my head and reassured her
that it was fine. Sometimes she is so sweet and well-intentioned that even
social faux-paux work for her.
After
hanging up, I fielded three more unexpected phone calls before I was finally
able to sit down and relax. Scrolling through the Guide, I saw that “Paranormal
Witness” was on. Turning to it, I found myself caught up in the terror and
creepiness of paranormal experiences being described by real people just like
you and me. Unfortunately, it was a scary episode and the re-enactments were
causing my heart rate to increase. Adding insult to injury, when the episode
ended, another one started. I rechecked the Guide and discovered that there was
a “Paranormal Witness” marathon going on. I was too frozen in my seat to change
the channel. I don’t know how many episodes I watched before sleep finally took
over. What I do know, however, is that I am a very big fraidy cat and that my
fear of the dark is not tempered by my incessant desire to watch scary shows
about scary things. At least I had three dogs and a cat to protect me through
the night.
I need a life.
PERSONAL
NOTE: Good luck on your Robotics competition over the next couple of weeks. You
are so amazing and we love you so much!
CONFIDENTIAL
NOTE: Happy belated birthday to you, handsome! SWU!
