current
state of mind: peaceful
And there
are no strings attached,
You owe me
nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me
nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you
thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
~ “You Owe
Me Nothing in Return” by Alanis Morissette
Yesterday, I
flew to the beautiful desert oasis of Phoenix, AZ. Sky Harbor welcomed me with
a very turbulent descent, courtesy of the mountains. The girl behind me was “cray-cray”.
She was snapping pictures non-stop with her SRL and singing her thoughts in a
very high pitched tone. “Look at the mountains. They are so pretty. I am taking
pictures of the mountains. We are landing soon.” All I could do was wonder why
in the world I had obeyed the rules and turned off my electronic devices. The
plane’s sporadic movement was making me nauseated and Miss Photographer’s
singing was creeping me out. I had been sound asleep until the descent so I
suppose I should have felt lucky that the first 2+ hours of the flight took
place while I was dreaming.
It was a Southwest
flight. The plane was sold at 85% capacity, which meant that there would be
plenty of open middle seats. My strategy upon boarding the plane had been to
make sure the middle seat in my row remained empty. I was the 10th
person on the plane. I selected a window seat, directly above the wing, two
rows ahead of the emergency exits. As I watched other people board the plane, I
made sure to avoid eye contact and scowl if anyone slowed down by my row.
Eventually, a 20 something Asian kid stopped and asked if the aisle seat was
taken. He was on his mobile phone and standing there waiting for a response. I
said the seat was empty and he claimed it. I realized at that point that I
needed to include him in my strategy if we wanted to keep that middle seat as a
buffer between us.
I turned to
him while he was still chatting on his phone and said, “Listen to me. If we
want this seat to remain empty, we have to work together. The key is, we lean
in just a little and look very unfriendly. In addition, throw your sweatshirt
on the seat to make it look occupied. Plus, if anyone slows down, glare at them.”
He looked at me incredulously, and then asked, “Does that really work?” I
nodded and he complied. Sure enough, all three people who stopped and looked at
our row kept walking after seeing the two of us hovering over that middle seat
with evil looks in our eyes. Once the doors were closed on the plane, the kid
looked at me and thanked me for teaching him a remarkable method of comfortable
flying on Southwest. I laughed and drifted off to sleep with the help of
Dramamine, a double-vodka with tomato juice, and an intense disdain for remaining
awake on airplanes.
Ms. Arizona
picked me up from the airport and it was as if we were teenage girls due to how
fast we started talking and giggling. Being here with her and her daughters is
such a blessing. I was surprised that my first night in Phoenix consisted of a
huge thunderstorm, Chick-fil-A, and a bunch of animated British kids on some
children’s show. Well, now I am off to play Clue: Master Detective with my
Arizona family.
PERSONAL
NOTE: Life is good! Hope your drive back to school was a good one.
CONFIDENTIAL
NOTE: What’s it like not being the most brilliant person in the room?
