16 October 2008

The Road Outside My House is Paved With Good Intentions

Current mood: blissful

You've been known to obsess over the future.
Do you think you'll get away from the past?
As you stone yourself just to make it through 'til midnight
consider what you might have found.
~ "Topeka" by Ludo

My attorney called me yesterday. My young, attractive, clever, amazing attorney. This perfect defense attorney charged me a paltry sum and vowed to make a very big problem go away. You see, for those of you who may have forgotten, in August I had a little mishap with a PT Cruiser, a Fire Hydrant, and the laws of physics. Apparently, this special combination creates the need for a Reckless Driving citation.

Reckless Driving is a misdemeanor in the state of Nebraska – resulting in 5 (yes, 5) points being taken off one's operators license. It is accompanied by a possible license suspension; a hefty fine; probation; AND 0 – 60 days incarceration in the city jail. I would not survive in jail, people. My passive aggressive tendencies and irreverent humor would not be appreciated by the other ladies in the Pokie (that's 'prison' for those who are not up on the latest slang). As it is, these personality traits are barely appreciated by my friends and family.

So, Mr. Attorney Rock Star (MARS) spent the early part of the week hunting down my police report and file in the City Prosecutor's office. Using his skillz of persuasion, MARS talked Mean City Prosecutor into reducing the charge to Careless Driving, which only strips my license of 4 points AND carries a maximum fine of $500.00. No jail. No license suspension. No probation. Compared to the alternative, this is a friendly slap on the ass. No problem!

I get to go to court on October 28 (accompanied by MARS), plead guilty (with MARS standing next to me), pay a fine to the clerk (hopefully still accompanied by MARS), then go to work (without MARS) – never again fearing the orange jumpsuit and metal handcuffs.

PERSONAL NOTE: Sunday will be interesting.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Speaking of handcuffs. . . you game?

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.