Current mood: bouncy
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone.
~ 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles
The alarm clock say 2:02am, and I have to trust it because it is one of those alarm clocks that sets itself based on some satelite flying around in the Earth's orbit. I don't comprehend how it works, exactly, but I know that if I unplug it, then plug it back in, the digital numbers go crazy for a moment, and then 'poof' like magic, the time appears. What makes the clock even more amazing is that when it comes unplugged or there is a power outage - the alarm will still go off at the right time, even though the clock is turned off and the numbers are not visible. The miracles of technology never cease to amaze me.
I actually did fall asleep before midnight tonight - out of sheer exhaustion - but as is generally the situation, insomnia kicked in and I am unable to keep my eyes closed. Perfect - well, not entirely perfect! *sarcasm* This is a crazy time at work and I truly do need my sleep, just to prevent myself from losing my composure at my cubicle - like I did today. It seems, without fail, that the waterworks behind my eyes are over producing lately. I cry at every little thing. As my D/BFF would say, "Girl, you are a mess!"
In my defense, while in Omaha, I have not yet gone out to my car and sat on the floor in the backseat so I could sob. Over the past 14 months, the floor of my car has been my solace more than once - while I was 'tucking'. Yes, "Tee - You - See - Kay - Eye - En - Gee"! That is another D/BFF contribution. It is a reference to my tendency of spiraling emotionally; but 'tucking' away from the world and not allowing my friends 'in' to help life the burden. It's a play on words - obviously. Which could have gone without saying, but I don't ever seem to shut-up! *Empire Records reference 2 -- are you paying attemtion?*
Tonight, as a form of self-medicating, I downloaded a plethora of music from Amazon and iTunes for my listening enjoyment. The problem with tehse two programs is that my credit card info is saved in their systems. This means that I can select the songs or albums I want, without having to grab my wallet and type in any information. It's almst like getting the songs for free -- or so it seems until my damn bill arrives and I see that due to the RIAA, it is no longer a free-for-all at the online record store. There is no Shawn Fanning sitting in his dorm room, allowing me access to mass amounts of shared music. Instead, he is sitting in his corporate office, raking in the big bucks, while I dump virtual money into the bank accounts of Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos.
It is now 2:27 and I just received a text message. Looks like I am not the only insomniac tonight. With that, I will bid you farewell until I have something else to say. . .
PERSONAL NOTE: I am praying fervently for her recovery. Let me know how I can be of assistance to your and your family!