01 July 2008

Help! My Soul Mate is Stalking Me!

First off – my soul mate is not stalking me. The title is a little misleading; sorry about that. I have been unsure as to which direction this conversation should be taken. Do I want to start off with a serious discussion of soul mates or do I want to start off with crazy stalker people?

I have been receiving a plethora of text messages from a guy we’ll call “Country Boy”. We’ll call him that because that is how he signs his texts. He has a real name – but it escapes me. ‘Country Boy’ is a good lookin’ kid – early twenties, in shape, an intense look in his eyes (which is far better than the vacant stare most twenty-somethings have). Luckily for me – I am not the object of Country Boy’s affections. Someone close to me is. Apparently, when I told him, ‘look, she is never in a million years going to be into you. You’re a good looking guy – you need to focus your attention elsewhere. You are kind of creeping her out with your declarations.’ what I meant was, ‘Text me lots and tell me how much you like her so that I will convince her to give up her boyfriend and go to you, the obviously stable, non-stalker’. This poor boy is convinced that he is her SOUL MATE! I am convinced he is an eejit! And she is convinced that he is a crazy person! And since perception is reality, it is safe to say that, soul mate or not, he is a crazy eejit!

I have done nothing to encourage these text messages – so now they are accompanied by the overused line ‘Please stop ignoring me. I need a friend right now.’ He may need a friend; but I am not it. I don’t even know the guy well enough to remember his first name. Plus, anyone who stalks someone he doesn’t know in order to use her to stalk someone he does – well, that is just too ambitious for me.

I thought this whole ‘soul mate’ mess was limited to those under the age of 22 – but I was wrong. Because I received a call of desperation from someone over the age of 22 the other day. ‘Girl Genius, I need your input. Have you ever been told that you are someone’s soul mate and you just don’t feel the same way?’

I paused. In my head I was thinking about all the boys I have thought were my soul mate. Bloody Hell – that many??? Really??? I am lucky I haven’t been committed. Alright, focus and respond – ‘Oh, no. . . did that happen to you?’

‘This girl called and started laying into me because I refuse to acknowledge that she is my soul mate.’

‘She did what?’

He repeated himself and added some more key facts. I had to concentrate at not laughing. This was not college or high school. This was a real adult woman telling an adult male that he’s an a$$ because he won’t propose, get married, and have babies with her, when they are obviously soul mates! They are not even dating. They are platonic friends! Purely platonic, he swore!

Now, I see where she is coming from. He’s an amazing guy – and she is obviously enamoured with him. But – again, I must reiterate (deliberate redundancy) that anyone over the age of 22 should not declare ‘soul mate’ status until it can be agreed upon. Even then, it is dangerous ground to tread and should be treated with care. I didn’t have any real advice for him – so I said that he just needs to be honest with her -- that he loves her but isn’t in love with her; they are just friends; it’s not her, it’s him; blah blah.

Hopefully she won’t end up being like ‘Rose’ in the show ‘Two and a Half Men’. CREEPY!

All of these people talking about soul mates have me in a quandary. I used to have faith in the existence of ‘soul mates’. I even included a reference to the concept in my second set of wedding vows. (That worked out well) I want to believe that there is someone out there for me – someone that was designed by the creator with me in mind. I don’t really know that it's true, though. It seems a little too contrived.

Instead, I like to believe that our souls recognize other kindred souls. Perhaps they are ‘old friends and lovers’ from lifetimes past – I am not sure. All I know is that there are people I have met who resonated truth and familiarity within my core being. And those people have been my ‘soul mates’. Our connections are so very limited in this world. When I find a person like this, I do my best to learn and experience as much as I can with them – before our paths are diverted and we must separate.

And then, even when they are absent from our every day physical lives, we can sense their everlasting presence within.

That being said, stalking over the age of 22 is still creepy.

PERSONAL NOTE TO MY SOUL MATES: I love you in a non-creepy way!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.