You might think it's foolish
This chancy rendezvous
You might think I'm crazy
But all I want is you
~ “You Might Think” by The Cars
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have done it. The audition video for my brother and I to go on a Spike TV reality show has been uploaded and turned in to the producers. The grand prize, since you are clearly curious, is a “boarding pass” for me and 5 family members into a Vivos shelter. Sweetening the deal is the fact that Vivos is providing armoured transportation, so we don’t have to hope that Lucius Verus can make it to the secret location, should the apocalypse happen in our lifetime. That’s right, peeps . . . my brother and I are willing to sacrifice our dignity so that our family can live out the end of days in an underground shelter with 800 other people. Awesome!
I know what y’all are thinking . . . “Where is that video posted?” Just like the location of Vivos, the location of the aforementioned video is classified. I learned a lot about myself watching and rewatching and poorly editing our audition file.
1.) When I am nervous, I move my hands and arms around a lot . . . like a cat’s tail, they appear to have a life of their own.
2.) I enjoy using cliché phrases, such as “the fact is”.
3.) Red really is my color for the best skin tone.
4.) When my hair is “just brushed” it looks as if a bird has nested in it while I was sleeping.
5.) The camera adds 15 lbs and a touch of awkwardness. My brother, on the other hand, is actually pretty darn amazing on camera. He is definitely going to need to share some tips with me.
Now, I don’t know if I we will get chosen for the show – but we should. No one out there can possibly have put as much time and thought into Vivos than me. Plus, I have read Machiavelli's 'The Prince' so many times that I can practically recite it in my sleep.
PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you for helping me learn what I need to know about survival, emergency blankets, and weapons. I love your face!
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: If we win, you can still have that spot I promised you . . . you’ll just have to marry me or let me adopt you.