current state of mind: misillusioned (it’s like disillusioned; but not really)
So take me downtown on the company dime
Punch me in the arm, make sure I’m alive
I need a weekend, gotta kick out the dust
Get my motor running cause it’s started to rust
~ ‘Downtown’ by Eve 6
I have a lot of flaws. Seriously, I do.
Don’t misunderstand; this is not a cry for help or a request for compliments. I believe we are all pretty much “half jerk and half jewel”; so I am aware of my good traits. For the moment, however, we are going to look at two of my least favourite faults. This will be a productive exercise for my benefit only. You will likely get nothing out of this experience. My suggestion is that you stop reading now and pick things back up about two paragraphs down. You can thank me later.
K-shrub often calls me out on the fact that I am a picker. I pick at my cuticles, finger nails, toe nails, and any polish on the aforementioned nails. I used to wear acrylics, which eliminated the picking and biting for the most part; except after one perfectly manicured acrylic nail would chip. Moments after one had a flaw, I would find myself surrounded by pieces of shattered acrylic and my fingers would hurt from the damage I sub-consciously inflicted. Lately, I have been working very diligently toward NOT biting or picking. I was doing well until school started again. Now, I fear that I will have to resort back to “Hoof Hands: Stop The Bite Kick The Habit”. It is the most vile chemical man has created; however, it is extremely effective. Last time it took two sub-conscious nail biting attempts to stop me from biting my nails for over a month. Good gourd!
Another flaw that needs to be addressed is my inability to wake up without the help of two alarms, a dog, and sometimes a phone call or two. The Sleep Monster is a monkey I haven’t been able to get off my back for YEARS! I fully comprehend that my poor wake-up habits are caused by my poor sleeping habits. I grasp the connection and fully acknowledge that I should probably “suck it up” and visit a sleep specialist. I think my insurance covers it, actually. I just don’t see how going to some “clinic” will actually make me sleep. I already have drugs that I can take to sleep. They make me sleep too well. I sleep through alarms, meetings, etc. Plus they make me groggy as heck if I don’t get a full 9 hours between when I take them and when I wake up. Not helpful! What I need is a designated “wake-up” person who can be my personal human alarm. I think that would be preferable to whatever the sleep doctor could suggest! I wonder if insurance covers this plan . . . any takers?
Alright, so you can continue reading now that I have that dumped out of my brain. It was taking up valuable real estate and I don’t have time to keep filtering redundant crap so that I actually accomplish something. For those who missed the picture, I now have another beautiful adornment on my skin. This one is a Knights Templar cross on my left foot. And for those of you who read the news, that nut job in Norway is not actually a Templar Knight. He is a mentally unstable, homicidal maniac who happened to read The DaVinci Code. Side Note: If you are going to commit a crime, do so in those Scandinavian countries where prisons are like Ikeas (not a joke) and vampires blend in with the natives (kind of a joke).
Word to your mothers.
PERSONAL NOTE: I miss you so very much. Where have the past 21 years gone, my friend?
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: So, K-shrub mentioned that her wireless network used to be named Charlemagne. She told me this today, out of the blue. Silly coincidence!