23 April 2012

No Shoes, No Shirt . . . I Work Out!

current state of mind: giddy

When I walk in the Spot
This is what I see
Everybody stops
And is staring at me
~ ‘Sexy and I Know It’ by LMFAO

Those who know me, even casually, are well aware that I am slightly high-strung.  Who am I kidding?  Anyone who has ever met me can ascertain within the first 5 minutes that I have pretty high self-expectations, which cause me to be more than “slightly high-strung”.  I also tend to look unkindly upon those who tell me that I need to calm down, relax, or chill.  I mean, seriously, when has telling someone to calm down ever actually calmed them down?  If anything, it makes me more stressed out. 

Case in point:  The other day I was pretty stressed preparing for my little sister’s wedding reception.  I wanted everything to go as perfectly as it could since it was her very special day.  I was a little ‘worked-up’ and venting to a friend about it.  He told me I needed to “chill”.  I responded to that with a text that clearly stated how I feel about being told to chill.  His response was as follows: 
“Uh . . . . okay . . . So me telling you to chill out over the fact that you don't like being told to chill out is not cool?”
With that simple text, I relaxed and realized how ridiculous I was being.  It was a beautiful, happy occasion and it would be perfect because my sister and her new husband would be surrounded by people who love them.  I also drank 3 glasses of vodka-laced punch.  All in all, it was a great reception.  And I did, indeed, chill.

I’d like to say that this cute little story is being shared with you so that we can all be reminded that it is important to relax and enjoy things, even when stressed.  That is not actually the reason I am sharing or the lesson that should be taken from this posting.  Instead, I need you to fully comprehend the intense disdain I have for the phrases “chill”, “relax” or “calm down”. 

Don’t use them toward me.  Those phrases make me want to punch you in the face.  Thanks!

PUBLIC NOTE: I am going to be an uncle. . . wait, I mean, I am going to have a nephew!!!!!  Woot!  Congrats K-Shrub and Zack-Attack.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  As always, a pleasure to see you!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.