Turn off the lights
And turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves
Make up for the silence
~ “Of All the Gin Joints in All the World” by Fall Out Boy
Last weekend, while in Fort Worth, ‘Becks’ and I were discussing possible money-making schemes, including a genius application for the iPhone which would require the solving of logic puzzles or simple math problems before being able to send out texts or make phone calls. This would, of course, be an inhibitor for those with a tendency to want to communicate while intoxicated.
Please Note: This is OUR idea. If you steal it, you will be found, drawn, quartered, and burned at the stake. Then, as a warning to others, your head will be placed on a stake and displayed by Traitor’s Gate on the River Thames. . . (Wait, I think I may be confusing copyright infringement with treason and heresy . . . oh who cares . . . let the punishment fit the crime . . . stealing our intellectual property IS treason and possibly heresy . . . burn, baby, burn!!!!)
While ridding the world of “drunk texting” and “drunk dialing” is a lofty goal, it seems, based on recent events, that stopping “sleep texting” would also be an important benefit of this amazing application. Those who know me well know that I don’t have the healthiest sleeping patterns. Some nights I cannot fall asleep at all, while on others, I fall asleep, only to awaken for no reason before the sun rises, leaving me disoriented and amnesiac. My pre-dawn shenanigans this morning are clear illustrations of why we needed this new technology yesterday! It all began with a text notification ‘beep’.
--------------------------------------------
Text from BC @ 4:33am: What is a trigru?
Me @ 4:34am: A What? I have no idea. Can you use it in a sentence?
Me @ 4:34am: Where did you see it used?
Text from BC @ 4:36am: In the ‘I just woke up’ text you sent me.
Me @ 4:37am: Oh
Text from BC @ 4:42am: Lol. So whatcha mean?
Me @ 4:43am: Is that a yes?
Text from BC @ 4:45am: Lol. . . I still don’t know what a trigru is. And I can’t lend something unless I know what it is.
Text from BC @ 4:52am: Lol. . . this is the most bizarre conversation ever. You must be sleep texting.
--------------------------------------------------
When I woke up this morning, Gracie was sound asleep on top of my phone. When she moved, I saw that there were text messages. To clear up the confusion, I reviewed the entire exchange. I found these two that I initiated in the wee hours of the morning:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Me @ 4:30am: Just woke up from a weird dream. . . may I borrow a trigru or something for my trip?
Me @ 4:32am: That may be pushing my luck. Rawr.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While I would like to pretend that this was a one time occurrence and that normally all of my text message exchanges which take place between the hours of 11pm and 7am make complete sense. However, even when taken in context, they tend to lean a little in the “what in the hell is she talking about?” direction. This is precisely why ‘Becks’ and I will be millionaires in 12 – 18 months. I cannot possibly be the only human with this problem.
After I relayed this story to my friend, ‘Kate’, she took it upon herself to kindly look up the meaning of ‘trigru’ for me online:
Dictionary.comOh well. If anyone has a trigru I can borrow, please let me know. I leave in 2 days!
No results found for trigru:
Did you mean trig ru (in dictionary) or Tigri (in reference)?
PERSONAL NOTE: Sorry your apartment smells like an old Indian Fire Lodge. Have you considered requiring your neighbor’s renter’s insurance to cover the clean-up fees?
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Blathering eejits ARE cute, aren’t they?
