Current Mood: No longer in Texas
Give up, you're not going anywhere
Moonlight, illuminates your stare
And it's great, captivating you
Does that trouble you?
I didn't mean to trouble you
~ “Live Again” by Better than Ezra
I cannot wear socks to bed. I don’t know why; but I have never been able to do so. Sometimes my feet are really cold and I put socks on – but when I awaken in the morning, they are off my feet and tangled in the sheets. This is the primary reason why this winter I have been wearing feetsie pajamas at night. I cannot kick the foot covers off. I suppose I could theoretically unzip the pajamas, climb out of them, and uncover my feet – but I am not that dexterous in my sleep. Thus far, this has not occurred.
I am not complaining!
A line from a song is stuck in my head right now. “If I see you in a hundred years and you still love me, I will try; I will try again, though I know you and I won’t be.” It’s the song “We Won’t Be” by Zack Hexum. I love the song, not only because it was written by Zack, but also because it is an insightful social commentary regarding the ending of many relationships. Sometimes they just end. There is no big fight or emotional crisis; instead, a series of very small minute cracks eventually wear the foundation down to the point that everything collapses upon itself.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend regarding the ending of my two marriages. He was curious and asked some poignant questions about the beginning and end of each. I don’t often reflect on my two most public failures. I suppose it’s because I have found that there is nothing left to analyze. I have gone over both relationships so many times in my head that I am not sure there is much more to learn. After saying that, I do want to point out that this weekend I spent some public time with Ex #2 and his fiancée. It was while I was in Texas, spending time with the twins. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t awkward. I did not feel any regret or jealousy or sadness. I was genuinely happy that they appeared to be content with one another. You see, their happiness equates to a happy household which equates to a healthy environment for the kids. And in the end, they are the ones who matter.
Speaking of being in Tejas, I also had the honor of attending a Happy Hour while I was there. I had a lot of fun and even socialized with some new people, which is always an adventure (for them, not me). I know what I am like when I am drinking A LOT and to the uninitiated, I can be a little difficult to process. Hell, to my veteran drinking buddies, I can be a little difficult to handle as well. And I know that on Friday I was convinced that I could dance – which is NEVER GOOD!
PERSONAL NOTE: Thank you for picking me up at the airport. And thank you for wearing THAT shirt.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Truly hope to see y’all in June – here in Omaha!