And I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust?
Somewhere the sun is always shining
~ “The Thief” by Relient K
I can hear it
A jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not be rescued
~ “Rescued” by Jack’s Mannequin
I am an over-thinker. My analytical powers are such that I shift into overdrive anytime a decision has to be made. This is not to say that I am unable to make a decision. I am quite capable of making decisions, and do so on a regular basis. The issue tends to be that AFTER I make a decision I worry that it was the wrong one to make. Sometimes, my anxiety is legitimate; but in most instances, I am just spinning my wheels without direction.
Therefore, this year’s resolution is going to be life-changing. I am going to live in the moment – without trying to control every minute detail of my life. I must stop worrying about what will be. I also must stop feeling compelled to define every event and relationship that comes along. There is something to be said about spontaneity. Since I am never spontaneous, I cannot tell you what exactly there is to be said – but I know there is something, because a lot of people live spontaneous lives and are quite happy, well-rounded individuals.
I have no illusions that I will become a non-worrying, spontaneous, free spirit over night. This will, indeed, be a constant struggle. I am, however, tired of living in fear of what ‘could’ happen. Tomorrow, I leave for Orlando! Nothing brings a person to ‘center’ like a week-long family holiday! That’s right – all 6 of us siblings, and our parents are going to Orlando, FL! We will see Disney World, the beach, swim with manatees, and pretty much be ready to kill one another by the time we return to the Arctic pleasure that is Omaha!
This will be MY first family vacation with all the siblings AND my first visit to Walt Disney World. I am actually really excited. We kids (if we can be called that) are staying in a 3 bedroom condo. Our parents and our honorary aunt and uncle from Indianapolis, will be staying in a 2 bedroom condo. It should be an amazing time!
Our plane leaves tomorrow at 11am. I still need to do laundry, pack my suitcase, and finish moving the rest of my stuff from my old place to my new one.
Perhaps I should have created a resolution about procrastination! I’ll do that next year – maybe!
PERSONAL NOTE: I’ll see you and the babies in 2 weeks!!!!!! I cannot wait!
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Valkyrie, Brad Pitt, or a Western?