16 July 2012

Windowless Conversion Vans Echo with the Screams of Reluctance

current state of mind: disingenuous
Yeah, some
'Cause I could use some friends for a change
And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights, I always win, I always win
~ “Some Nights” by .fun

In the past fortnight or so, I have driven 3500 miles, gone to Texas twice, visited waterparks, endured 4.5 hours of an ink gun on my ribs, driven through a number of small towns, and watched as someone changed a tire on Lucius. I have also visited with loved ones, reinforced friendships, and taken some tentative steps toward a different future than the one I had once planned. Overall, it’s been hectic. Going on holiday generally is far from relaxing; and this one was no exception. I did have a wonderful time, however. I love being a mom and every summer I get to live that role to its fullest for a little while.

I know that I have not written for a while. I have been throwing thoughts around in my head – but none of them wanted to be put down on paper, virtual or otherwise. A few nights ago I had a burst of writing inspiration; however, I was driving and elected not to pull over to write it all down. In hindsight, that was a bad plan because I did not retain any of it. I suppose that is the price to pay for inconsistent brilliance.

I did receive some vindication this past weekend. I always like it when I can say “I told you so” and this was no exception. I went to the eye doctor. I chose a new eye doctor because the girls in my old eye doctor’s office are rude. Plus, I wasn’t a fan of the eye doctor either. He had a creepy, conversion van essence to him. So new eye doctor seemed friendly when we met. I entered the examination room and sat in the eye-exam chair. His first question was an open-ended one: Tell me how you normally wear your contact lenses. I did not pretend to not know what he meant. He wanted to know how often I wear them, take them out, disinfect them, etc. In the back of my mind I could hear all of the lectures I have received over the years about how I am going to go blind because of how horribly I treat my eyes and contact lenses.
I took a deep breath and blurted out, “I am going to be honest with you against my better judgment. I wear my contacts straight for up to 3 weeks, sleeping in them, etc.” Then I braced myself for the wrath of the eye doctor.
Instead he asked a follow-up question, “Okay, so how long do you wait to dispose of an existing pair and put replacements in your eyes?”
“Um, 4 – 6 weeks unless I tear one.” I could only stare at the floor.
“Wow. Let’s take a look at your eyes and see if any damage has been done.”
Moments later he expressed surprise and said, “Your eyes display the signs of the average contact wearer. It doesn’t appear that your lack of contact care has caused any additional damage. Your particular contacts are now FDA approved for 7 straight days of non-stop wear. They should then be disinfected overnight and can be worn for another 7 days. The FDA suggests that they be thrown away after 14 days of wear. I cannot suggest to you that you maintain the aggressive regiment you have been following; but, I am not seeing anything in your eyes that concerns me.”

Ha! Now the whole wide world can hear me say, “I TOLD YOU SO!” My inherent laziness and desire to see clearly when I wake up in the middle of the night have done me no harm. Still, I am not going to tempt fate. I agreed to the every-7-day disinfection guideline. I made no other promises.

It’s a start.

PERSONAL NOTE: Thanks for the wine, conversation, and Phase 10. We need to do that more often.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I am stronger than you think.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.