04 September 2009

And She Ain’t Even Hot!

Current mood: beautiful

At first I was sad
At first I was crying
And then I got mad
And I started buying
Feels good, swiping your visa
Louis, Gucci, flight to Ibiza
I left you a note
Letting you know you're broke
~ “Who’s Got Your Money?” by Tina Parol

Last night, was filled with adventures, dangerous feats, wrong turns, and sweaty bodies! It was Ring Wars V – Muay Thai Kickboxing at Septemberfest! Before we headed to the Qwest Center for our ringside table seats, we met at Hiro for Happy Hour. Woo hoo for Hiro Happy Hour!

Ay 6:30, ‘FightMom’ and I left for the fights. We had to pay $6.00 for parking which is ridiculous – but we did get a rockstar space – so the sting of paying was lessened by the great location. Walking toward the fight tent, we made a quick stop at the still-clean porta potties. I hate them! We doused on the hand sanitizer after – ewwwww! At the Will Call table, we were given wristbands for alcohol and VIP wrist bands for our table seats. Unfortunately, they selected the ditziest blonde to lead us to our table. She walked us all around the ring; then looked at me and said, “Um, I don’t see your name on any of the tables.” Then silence.

She was waiting for me to say something – but I don’t know what I was supposed to say. Finally, after a couple of minutes of her staring at us, she said, “I guess you can wait here while I go ask someone.”

So, we stood there, and waited and waited until someone who had at least 60 more IQ points than this girl came over and showed us to our table – which was less than 5 feet from where we were standing. Brilliant! Our tablemates were an eclectic assortment of two Hawaiian fighters, an old man and his 10 year old grand son, and some people who never even looked at us.

The kid was an odd duck. First off, he will definitely need braces and I am rather curious as to why he doesn’t have them yet. He had on a long sleeve striped polo that looked like it came from a closet stuck in 1982. Over that, he had on a white fighting T-shirt that his grandpa must have bought him at the fights. He had input on anything and everything ‘FightMom’ and I discussed. The only contribution from grandpa was to buy the kid another effin’ Mountain Dew! Good Lord! Before long, it became apparent that the little man may have developed a slight crush on yours truly. He would just stare at me and smile when I saw him staring. ‘FightMom’ found this to be hilarious-o! I was less than amused.

Luckily, an incredible looking photographer in a hat caught my attention. He looked to be around 23 or 24, great eyes, nice body -- and ‘FightMom’ agreed. Then without notice, he took off his hat and we both cringed. By removing the baseball cap, he went from ‘Fine’ to ‘forty’, with a shaved buzz cut and a seriously receding hairline. Seriously, removing the hat ages him 15 years. Then I was no longer remotely interested – until later, when we saw him again, with the hat on. And wow, he was Hot again! This went on most the night and all I could do was hiss “Deceiver” in his direction and wonder what gypsy curse did this to him!

After one of the title fights, the annoying grandson asked me if I had a pen he could borrow to get an autograph from one of the fighters. I have an office supply store in my purse – so I handed him a black sharpie and wished him luck. He came back a short while later and returned my sharpie. After the next fight, he looked right at me and said, “Hey, do you still happen to have that marker on you?” Note, I hadn’t moved from my location. The Sharpie did not magically walk away. I told him just to hang onto it until it was time to go. He looked quite pleased with himself. It was at this point that ‘FightMom’ called him my “MBF” (mini boyfriend). I almost challenged her to a fight in the ring – but as the little kid observed, if she and I fought, she would probably win because she looked stronger (though he did acknowledge that I looked more focused). Ha ha ha ha

The fights rocked! And I cheered like a die-hard fan! It was great fun! Cannot wait until Ring Wars VI.

You are the best looking man I have ever met – even when you take your hat off.


Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.