And no matter how hard I try
I can’t escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows
~ “Let Me Go” by Three Doors Down
I love postcards. On my desk, I have a tasteful display of postcards from all over the world. I rearrange them every few weeks. I take some down and put new ones up. When things get especially stressful at work, I take a moment and stare at one of the postcards, trying to visualize myself there, touring Versailles, or looking over the Cliffs of Moher. I liken this exercise to jumping into chalk pictures like Mary Poppins did with Jane and Michael. It’s a method of escaping from the real world.
Also on my desk are photographs of the twins; a few friends; non-boyfriend; and Elizabeth. I even have a photograph of me with the Geico Gecko. Without these personal items, I don’t know how I would make it through the work day. I spend, on average, 50 hours a week at my desk. That is more time than I spend sleeping each week. I had to personalize my workspace – or possibly go mad.
Recently I applied for a promotion in a different department. I have experience and am more than qualified for the position. I sent in two letters of recommendation, as well as a picture-perfect resume. I was informed today that the position has been filled. I didn’t even get a bloody interview. At the moment, my ego is too deflated to even ask the recruiter why a position is open for 3 months and within a week of me applying; it has been filled, with no interview. Maybe I am suffering from DOG -- delusions of grandeur. According to wisegeek.com:
In clinical terms, delusions of grandeur are real delusional symptoms, which are irrational and inappropriate beliefs. Often found in patients with varying degrees of either dementia, psychotic or depressive disorders, they firmly possess unrealistic beliefs that may eventually harm them physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Based on this assessment, I would like to believe that I exaggerated greatly when I suggested that DOG is an appropriate assessment of my situation. I am seldom irrational – though often inappropriate. Plus, when I told several friends my situation, here were their responses:
1. I’m Sorry
2. That sucks, I’m sorry
3. That fucking blows
4. I’m sorry, love. Been there. Done that. People are dumb.
5. WHAT?!? That means one of 2 things. Something else is opening up that you will be better at or 2, they think you’re too good at your job.
6. I’m sorry. I hope something better opens up for you soon.
7. Well at least you know something. I applied for the same job and they won’t even talk to me to tell me no.
I must admit that 3, 4, and 7, made me laugh aloud. I may not be getting a promotion with more money, better hours, and a closer location – but, I have really supportive friends – all of whom would let me move in with them – if I were not already in the pathetic situation of living with my parents. Thankfully, my sister is in the same boat as me . . . and she GOT THE PROMOTION she applied for. Tell me again, when is this recession going to end? And why didn’t Prince Harry win the election?
Speaking of elected officials – can anyone explain why our fist-bumping leader is trying to push a health care plan that worsens the level of care for a majority of Americans? The idea is to IMPROVE the situation – not make me stand in line for a band-aid when my arm has been severed. What the world needs now is a good lobbyist . . . and I happen to know a very handsome man who is well on his way to becoming one. Good thing he will take all that blood money – someone will need to pay for my book and office supply habits when I am out of a job and living in a cardboard box with Elizabeth and Gracie.
You know if I had Derren Brown’s powers, I wouldn’t need a promotion. I would be ruling the world. ‘Who is Derren Brown?’ you ask. Google him. He is magically delicious! And how do I know who Derren Brown is? It’s because of NBF. One of the reasons I love hanging out with NBF is that he has a downloaded collection of viewing entertainment which puts my DVD library to shame. We aren’t talking about “Ernest Goes to Camp” and YouTube’s latest Top Ten videos. The other night, for example, we watched ANOTHER Derren Brown special; which was phenom, as expected. After I was wowed and astounded by Mr. Brown’s ‘MESSIAH’, NBF had me watch the pilot episode of ‘Entourage’.
Bloody Hell! All I need is another series to watch. Luckily, he has every episode downloaded, so I can catch up on 6 seasons at my leisure. Granted, I am only two episodes into the ‘Entourage’ franchise; but thus far, I am intrigued and suitably entertained. Now if I could just get promoted.
PERSONAL NOTE: When at first you don’t succeed, stab him in the face again.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I wish you were here.