30 April 2009

Time is the Beauty of the Road Being Long

Current mood: frenetic

This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
~ “A Fond Farewell” by Elliott Smith

I should have gone to the cemetery yesterday. I didn’t. I had plans to go; truly. I also didn’t send a letter to his parents. This is the first time in 18 years that I did not send them anything. It isn’t that I forgot. I didn’t. Most likely I will send one today or tomorrow. I just couldn’t seem to compose in my head what is permanently etched in my heart. I think it’s because I look at my friends; and it strikes me that most of them have given their parents grandchildren. They have created new life. I have no words of comfort which erase the fact that his parents will never share in the joys of marriage and birth with him. In fact, after 18 years, I don’t know that I have any words at all which have not already been said in one manner or another. Still, I use this week to remember the first boy I ever truly loved.

Never forgotten. I promise.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.