27 April 2009

Loosen Up

Current Mood: Restless

And what you've made is good
I don't always thank you for the rough days and
the hard times in my life
Even though I should
~ “Jury Duty” by The O.C. Supertones

I am continuously being told that I need to loosen up. I always assumed that when people said that they were referring to my anal retentive attitude regarding most things. I am not necessarily Obsessive-Compulsive – but I do desire order in thought and action. I want total control over my own existence. I am a classic type-A Virgo, as I have said many times before now. Still, it turns out that I truly do need to loosen up. . .

My muscles and ligaments are excruciatingly tight. The Personal trainer at the gym has suggested that I roll on this horrible medieval torture device, commonly known as a foam roller. From what I understand, the pressure of the foam roller is supposed to massage out the knots in my muscle tissue, resulting in a looser, more structurally sound me. The thing effin hurts! Every moment I roll on it is a painful one. I don’t know how such a simple tube of foam can cause so much discomfort.

I get monthly massages thanks to a membership to ‘Massage Envy’. -- SIDE NOTE: I have referral cards that can get you a 60 minute massage for only39 dollars, if you care to try them out. END SIDE NOTE -- The masseuse ALWAYS comments on how knotted up my muscles are – especially in my neck and shoulders. I recently discovered that one of the primary reasons I am not able to perform a correct push-up is because the muscles in my shoulders and chest (I do not know the names of these muscles) are so tight that they are unable to do the full range of motion of a push up while supporting my body weight. Watching me do a pushup is a little like watching someone fall over and over again; but all you can do is laugh – not offer any assistance.

This past weekend I went to a hypnotist show. It was one of those comedians who ALSO hypnotize – and then the participants do ridiculous things for 30 minutes or so, for the amusement of the audience. I elected NOT to go up on stage. I am susceptible to hypnosis and I would rather laugh and watch the show than be a part of it. Plus, my brother was up there and I wanted to watch him get hypnotized.

They darkened the room and began the induction. I stared at the candle flickering on my table while the hypnotist did his magic on the participants. The rest is a blur – but based on eye-witness accounts, here is the gist of what happened. I fell off my booth, hit my head on the table, and then landed on the floor (which was a 3 foot drop). While on the floor, under the table, I followed the hypnotist’s suggestions until a bouncer pointed me out to the hypnotist who felt it a good idea to invite me on stage. The people I was with were more than happy to give the bouncer permission to escort me to the stage.

I vaguely remember being up on stage – but I wasn’t nervous or self-conscious. Honestly, I don’t know if I remember what happened or if my sister provided all the details to supplement my memory. Either way, I guess I was funny and the star of the show – because after, audience members kept coming up to me telling me what fun I was. I have been reassured that I did nothing too embarrassing and that I was actually very much myself up there – minus any real emotion. The hypnotist liked me, I guess, because he didn’t make fun of me like he did the others, according to my sister. Next time, I will do my best not to stare at the candle. My sister said he also gave me two suggestions which appear to be working. Those, I find very handy!!!!

Before I forget, if you have any good ‘get rich quick’ schemes that will not require too much work on my part, I am open to suggestions. I need to make an extra 100k before 2010. Here is where we will exercise a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. Thanks much!

PERSONAL NOTE: The past 4 months has been amazing. Thank you for that!

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I wish I were wearing a white button-down Oxford right now!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.