01 May 2008

All it takes is a little poisonous gas to put it all in perspective

For those of you who avoid the news – be aware that mixing detergent with other household chemicals can be suicidal. In fact, it is so successful that there are web sites that not only tell you how to do it – but include a printable sign for you to hang on your door warning any visitors that you have killed yourself with toxic fumes – contaminating the general area. Talk about thinking ahead. Japan, the country with the highest suicide rate in the world (I think – don't quote me on this one), has had a rash of toxic fume suicides recently. The government solution is to attempt to block websites that display the recipes for these poisonous cocktails.

My solution is a little more effective, I think. Stop selling detergent and household cleaning agents. Only sell vinegar, baking soda, and water. That way the worst that can happen is a minor lava simulation. Remember in science class when we added red food coloring to water and baking soda? Then we would pour in vinegar and BOOM – Mt St. Helens right there on the desk. Amazing. The lava would come pouring out with bubbles and spitting – until the reaction wore off. I think there was a Brady bunch episode that did the same thing – except Bobby and Cindy were making the volcano and Marcia and the popular girls were in the backyard – and the lava exploded all over the girls and they yelled at Cindy and Bobby. Then Marcia decided that she didn't want to be in the popular girl's club anymore. What a crock of shite!

Anyway – back to toxic fumes. We breathe them in every day thanks to cars, planes, crop dusters, and people who toss the ashes of loved ones into the air as a means of "remembering them". I probably have a whole human inside my lungs. Oh well. It could be worse I suppose. Someone could poke me in the eye with a sharp stick.


Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.