11 June 2013

Write Your Name Across the Stars

current state of mind: bewildered

I could tell you "We belong together."
 And I could tell you "You belong with me."
 But we've run out of things to say
 And we'll be happy anyway so
~ “Another First Kiss” by They Might Be Giants

Do you remember your first ‘real’ kiss? I do. I don’t remember yours; but, I remember mine. I was 14. It was May, 1991. If I looked in my high school journal I could tell you the precise date and time. For now, let’s just be satisfied with me knowing the month and year.  His name was (and likely still is) *name omitted in case he Googles himself regularly – because I just found him on LinkedIn by doing just that*. He was a soccer player and very handsome. We met at an academic competition. I invited him and his friend to my house to watch a VHS movie with me and my cousin the following weekend. They came.

He held my hand while we watched a movie that I have completely buried in my memory.  I went downstairs to grab some more soda. Ben followed me.  Before I could walk into the kitchen, he said my name. I turned around, and then he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft. His hands went to my waist. I am sure I sighed. In my memory, the angels bowed at the splendor of such a romantic kiss. The reality is, it involved parted lips with no sloppiness. At 14, that’s a damn fine kiss. 30 seconds later, the moment ended and we went back upstairs to finish the movie. He held my hand again. The boys left as soon as the movie was over. And that was that.    

We had several mutual friends throughout high school and yet, *1st Kiss* and I never knowingly crossed paths again. I saw his picture in the newspaper a few years later. He was dribbling a soccer ball for his high school soccer team. The article said he had led his team to a much needed victory. He was still pretty good looking; however, by then I was ‘in love’ with a different soccer player and that first kiss was just a sweet memory. A teenage girl’s heart may be fickle; but, she never forgets her first kiss . . .

Especially when that girl keeps a detailed spreadsheet documenting the names of every boy she kissed up until her second husband was told he could “kiss the bride”.  It all gets a little fuzzy after that. . . Thankfully.

PERSONAL NOTE:  I miss you so very much. Hard to believe things are so different now than from when we first became friends. 

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE:  I wish I could hug you right now. I am sorry for your loss.   

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.