All these consequences keep running around your head
but who knows what they'll say, when it all comes down to...
through the moonlight glow I know, heart racing fast as it can go
our eyes meet instantly, you're on your way.
~ “Allow Me To Introduce Myself...Mr. Right.” By the White Tia Affair
There are many definitions of ‘family’. Some say it is a bond of blood – others may define it as a bond of legality, i.e. marriage or adoption. I am from neither of those philosophies. Instead, I choose to take my definition of family from the beloved children’s author, Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”That’s family to me. Blood is only so thick and marriages can be dissolved. The unconditional acceptance of another person; that is a true familial bond. Two people who come to mind are Girl Twin and Boy Twin’s mom and step-dad. Truly, how much more dysfunctional can the concept be? The ex of my ex and her husband. Yet, they are as much family as my own flesh and blood. I cannot think of two better examples of unconditional acceptance. No matter where I go or what I do, I know, without a doubt, that they have my back. Circumstances may have brought us together, but choice keeps us there.
I have an amazing family circle which consists of friends I have chosen and relatives that were chosen for me. Think of the people you called “Aunt So-and so” growing up, only to find that they really weren’t your aunt at all. They were just close family friends who were given the “honorary” title of “Aunt”. I have a beautiful variety of “nieces and nephews” thanks to the honorary title system. It pleases me immensely that I am “Auntie Jillian”. That familial role allows me to share in the joys of all the milestones children have, first step, first word, first day of school, all those firsts that I most likely will never have with children of my own body. And I know in my heart, that I know what it is like to be a mother, with all its happiness and heartbreak, thanks to the generosity of the people mentioned above.
I guess what I am trying to say, in the most ineloquent manner possible, is that I have chosen my family and I love that I have been able to do so. I know that I don’t always show my appreciation in the manner I should. Life gets busy and I get distracted. But, you know who you are. I love you. I couldn’t get through life without you in it. I can only hope that my contribution to your life is half as valuable.
Now raise a glass to “family” and forget about all those relatives you’d rather not see over the holidays – because in the end, it is all “relative”.
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I think this sums up why I was hurt. Does this help explain it?