09 February 2010

Home on the Range

current mood:

So when you’re done doing whatever
And when you’re through doin’ whoever
You know Denton County will be right here
Waiting for you
~ “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)” by Bowling for Soup

After driving 658.3 miles through pouring rain, blowing snow, and enough construction zones to employ half the nation, I sent out my first mass text in months, letting friends in Texas and Nebraska know that I made it home safely. I then had enough energy to take a bath and stumble into bed for a well-deserved nap. 20 minutes into this nap, my phone rang. The caller ID indicated Private Number. I answered only to have a woman ask why I left her husband a message. I assured her that I did not leave messages for anyone. She then, in angry broken English clarify that I had sent her husband a text message.

She asked if I sent the message by mistake, as her husband was “claiming” he didn’t know me (I could practically see her making the quotes marks in the air with her hands). I said that I had sent a text letting some friends know that I had made it home from Texas to Nebraska. I apologized if her husband received the message by mistake. I asked for his number so I could look it up in my contacts. She then started asking me point blank if I know Jorge. I said I knew no one named Jorge and AGAIN apologized. She gave me Jorge’s number and I said I will make sure to correct my contact info. She offered to call me back later. For what, I am not sure. I assured her that calling me again was not necessary and that I would remove her husband’s number from my phone immediately.

I am sorry, Jorge! Truly I am. It sounds like you have a good woman and I don’t want to get in the way of family stuff. And by the way – I did find the contact info in my phone. It was for a certain “70s Porn Star”. I made sure that I sent HIS wife a text as well. And she responded far nicer than Jorge’s wife did. It pays to be secure in one’s relationship.

It is cold here. Very cold. I don’t care for it.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: You are extremely attractive. Truly!

PERSONAL NOTE: You’re so vain; I’ll bet you think that note was about you.

For the very few people I saw, it was wonderful. For the many, many people I didn’t see, I am sorry. This trip really revolved around the twins. I’ll do better next time.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.