Don't worry about a thing.
Keep taking it easy.
This time it's not personal.
The universe will help you now.
To find a place you can breathe. And do what you've got to do.
~ “Four-Leaf Clover” by Badly Drawn Boy
You know those moments where you speak without thinking of the repercussions of what you are about to say? I am the queen of such moments. Just a few minutes ago, I spotted my friend, “Mr. Awesome”, and his buddy (whom I do not know). It seemed the opportune time to state the following: “Hey, I have your shirt at my desk. I’ve been meaning to get that back to you.” True, it’s not as bad as the time I asked one of the most popular guys in my class how long and hard an assignment was; still, I blushed at the implication my statement made, even though it was 100% innocent. Plus, I am sure it was just as embarrassing for my friend who probably didn’t feel like explaining why some female co-worker has his shirt in her possession. Why couldn’t I have said, “Thanks again for loaning me that Creighton Shirt, I have it at my desk,”?
I suppose I am lucky I could even identify “Mr. Awesome” since I have misplaced my glasses and cannot wear my contacts due to both eyes being noticeably bloodshot and slightly swollen. Where is Ben Stein and his bottle of ‘Clear Eyes’ when I need him most? Stein? Stein? *not-so-subtle ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ reference* Thus far today, I have walked into 2 doors, missed the trash can when throwing something away, and been unable to distinguish anyone’s identity until I was within 3 feet of them. For those of you worried that I may be driving with this impairment – stay off the roads between 4 and 5 today. Consider that fair warning!
Since we are on the subjects of hand/eye coordination AND embarrassment, let’s combine the two topics to discuss the volleyball tournament I was in this weekend. Many of you have seen me play volleyball. Well, I have discovered that without the ‘Nazi Coach’, I am even worse than I remembered. In my defense, I did try to follow the directions given by the team captain. Unfortunately, when it comes to volleyball, I have a theory, and it would serve future team captains to listen to it:
If someone has NO volleyball talent, it is better to just tell them to “get the ball over the net” and not attempt to give them instruction beyond this one goal.
Here is why, my chances of getting it over the net are far better than my chances of hitting the ball in a controlled manner so ‘real volleyball players’ can set or spike it. I know that this is hard to understand for people who actually have coordination. I assure you, though, that I have been the ‘token female player’ on volleyball rec league teams since I was 14 years old. That means for the past 16 years, I have studied the game (and players like me). I have yet to see success come from demanding controlled ball handling from someone who is shocked any time she even makes contact.
Based on this assessment, I am hopeful that you can envision the Saturday experience. My team had talent. I do not. I am not saying that I dragged them down – but I sure didn’t lift them up either. I think we played pretty well for a hodgepodge group that had never played a game together. Still, I don’t foresee ‘Capt. KG’ calling me up the next time she has to fill a team roster. LOL All of this being said, I’d sure enjoy being on a sand volleyball team this spring/summer. So, if you are in a ‘beer league’ and need another girl, let me know. I’ll happily be a sub!!
While I am discussing athletics, I am also in search of a tennis partner. The requirements are simple; the partner has to be better than I am (no issue there, I assure you) but also willing to help me improve my game (herein lies the problem). I was told by my tennis instructor in college that I have innate tennis ability, if I would just focus. I was also paying him. Therefore, saying anything else would have been less lucrative.
PERSONAL NOTE: The LSAT is June 8th. We have a LOT of work to do. Perhaps more discipline is needed. Hee hee
CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: Don’t forget my postcard and a photograph of the Burj al Arab – if you can get it!!!!