26 February 2009

Invasion of the Body Snatcher

Current mood: exhausted and achy

So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
~ “One Year, Six Months” by Yellowcard

Remember a few weeks ago when I was complaining that I cannot seem to fall asleep? Problem solved!!! I now cannot seem to stay awake. It appears, thanks to a little virus commonly known as “Mono”, I am getting a ton of sleep now. In fact, yesterday I left work early, went home, took a quick shower, and then lay down to take a nap. I was asleep by 5pm. Besides waking up from a bad dream at midnight, I slept through my alarm clock and regained consciousness at 8:30am. 15 hours of sleep later, I was still tired beyond reason; but, I had a meeting at work and had to come into the office. I was late for the meeting – but got through it.

I am working on two important projects; however, the only thing I can really focus on is keeping my eyes open. I attempted a conversation, via IM, with someone and, as usual, made a complete eejit of myself. In fact, I think he may think I am a stalker. The only redeeming aspect is he is kind about my completely random contact attempts, which makes me feel slightly less of a loser. Bloody Hell. I really think I need to stop trying to perpetuate that friendship. I don’t know what my issue is with that one. It’s not romantic. I assure you of that. Well, let’s just hope I come across as cute and quirky – not desperate and stalkerish. I am being optimistic!

One nice thing about mono, I have found, is that I have very little appetite. Today, I have eaten a piece of jelly toast and half a cup of soup. (Oh and a couple Girl Scout cookies). Still, not much of an appetite. I had to force the soup down. I am drinking plenty of fluids. I have not had soda for 2 days. -- only water/crystal light for me. Perhaps mono is better than the tapeworm diet.

“Tapeworm diet?” you wonder. Well, if you believe everything on the interwebs (which I do) for a mere $1,299.00 USD, anyone can purchase a beef tapeworm to accelerate weight loss. Alas, nothing comes without risks. Therefore, I want to show you the possible side effects before you jump right up and order yourself a couple of tapeworms:

Side Effects and Warnings for Beef Tapeworm

Most individuals are either asymptomatic or have mild-to-moderate
complaints. Common symptoms include loss of appetite or feeling of fullness,
increased appetite, abdominal pain, weakness, headache, nausea, constipation,
diarrhea, vomiting and spontaneous emergence of proglottids from the anal
sphincter. A mild eosinophilia of 5-15% may occur. There are rare reports of
intestinal perforation in T. saginata infection. People with severely weakened
immune systems (due to disease or drugs like cancer chemotherapy and organ
transplant immunosuppressants) may develop serious infections or bacteria in the
blood from taking T. saginata. Therefore, T. saginata should be avoided in such
individuals. People with intestinal damage or recent bowel surgery should avoid
taking T. saginata. When T. saginata becomes sexually mature the gravid
proglottids will break off and migrate out the digestive tract. These
proglottids are motile and can lodge in the common bile duct, pancreatic duct or
the appendix. Blockage of any can result in intense abdominal pain and is life
threatening. Intestinal obstruction is a rare complication. There is a report of
T. saginata and a case of reactive arthritis that resolved with treatment.

There is not enough scientific study available to establish safety
during pregnancy. Therefore, pregnant women should not use T. saginata. T.
saginata should not be used during breastfeeding, due to possible risks to the
mother and child.

The thought of anything becoming sexually mature and active while inside me is enough to turn me off this little diet plan. Looks like Mono wins!! Maybe someday I will try the eat less and exercise more diet. But I haven’t read anywhere online where that actually works . . . so. . . I am skeptic!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.