01 December 2008

You Are My Sunshine

Current mood: blissful

Buy me a shiny new machine
that runs on lies and gasoline,
And all those batteries we stole from smoke-alarms,
Disassembles my despair.
It never took me anywhere.
It never once bought me a drink.
~ "Reconstruction Site" by the Weakerthans

Thanksgiving was amazing with my family. Though something was brought to my attention that I hadn't quite realized. . . I am very tan. Yes, for those of you who haven't seen me lately, compared to my normal, pale, ghostly self, I look 'sun-kissed'. You see, I have been tanning; but not for the normal reasons other people tan. I don't care if I look dark or light. I'm Irish for goodness sake, I should be translucent.

However, I am not translucent. I am a golden color that can only be achieved through many 10 minute sessions under fake sun rays (or in the sun, if you have an actual sun to use). I am in the middle of an Omi-ha-ha winter and no sun can be found. Therefore, the only place I can truly warm up is in the tanning bed. I admit it; I tan because I am a wimp in the cold.

So, my sister's boyfriend, 'The Writer', arrives at Thanksgiving dinner and says, "Wow, you look great. Love the tan." Apparently he had been expecting me to look corpse-like. This prompted 'The Pretty One' to comment as well. It was then that I had to explain to my family that I am paying a ridiculous amount of money each month going to a tanning salon so I can actually be exposed to warmth and Vitamin D. I lie there in the well-lighted-coffin, also known as a tanning bed, and pretend that I am on the beach, with the wind blowing (courtesy of the cooling fans) in my face. It's almost like being in Paradise for 10 minutes. Almost.

PERSONAL NOTE: That truly was the longest minute ever . . . still it is to be expected from someone known for letting people go after receiving a beep via call waiting.

Your first confidential note. I want free books! LOL

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.