13 November 2008

Reading this will Kill Brain Cells

Current mood: blah

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath a landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath a landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
~ "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

I have been suffering from Writer's Block; which explains why there are no blog entries over the past several days. It also explains why I have been unable to write any more of Eidetic Vision, even though I vowed to finish it this month. Grrrrrr.

My cousin, Jack, gave me a book once called "The Writer's Block" and it is just a cube shaped book filled with ideas and triggers to prompt writing. Lately, I haven't even been able to use that book to help me. I am not sure what the issue is. I have words in my head, but when I try to put them down on paper or on the screen, they flitter away like flutter-byes on a summer day.

Even this entry is giving me a difficult time. The words won't flow. They seem forced and contrived.

This is also why I haven't sent any cards or letters out this week. I seem to be in neutral – just not able to move forward – even though I want to. Time keeps passing, yet I seem unable to make the changes I need to make. I'm not sure if it is fear or denial or laziness.

And this inability to act has lost me two friends in the past 2 weeks. I am sure more will follow. I know, I can be withdrawn. I work really hard at showing emotion. It's just really difficult. Last week, with the help of a new friend, I pushed through quite a few barriers and actually embraced an emotion. It felt like my heart and brain did a "restart". I do prefer feeling 'something' over being numb – at least that is the epiphany I had last week.

Blah. Are you actually still reading this drivel? This is the lamest blog entry I have ever written.

I need your help. Give me a topic to write about. I'll select one and go with it tomorrow.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE: I love you. For now and for always!

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.