06 November 2009

Sterile Loyalty

current mood: *blank*

But I want more than a touch I want you to reach me
And show me all the things no one else can see
So what you feel becomes mine as well
And soon if we're lucky we'd be unable to tell
What's yours and mine the fishing's fine
And it doesn't have to rhyme so don't you feed me a line
~ “Run-Around” by Blues Traveler

Walking into work this morning, I used my left arm to alleviate an itch on my nose. As my sleeve touched my face, I was assaulted by an aroma that can only be described with two words: ‘dog pee’. I stopped walking. I smelled my shirt sleeve again, in hopes that I merely had a misfire of neurons in my brain – and that my shirt didn’t actually smell like Ebie’s urine. NO SUCH LUCK! Brilliant.

It was six minutes until 8am. I couldn’t run to Wal-Mart to buy a new shirt. I couldn’t even run to No Frills. Of course, even though I work in a bloody mall, there are no stores in it – I had no choice but to continue walking into the building. Luckily, only the left sleeve carries the scent of Aroma d’Ebie. The rest of the shirt smells like fabric softener.

As soon as I reached my desk, I found my bottle of “Febreze To Go” and soaked the left sleeve with it. I also wiped down my arm with anti-bacterial wipes. The overwhelming combination of Febreze and Lysol covered up the smell of urine for at least 20 minutes. Damn, that stuff is persistent. I repeated the process again, this time ensuring that the cloth was completely saturated with Febreze. I could wring out the excess liquid onto the floor by the time I finished spraying. I used the remaining anti-bacterial wipes to clean my arm AGAIN, and then for good measure rubbed the sleeve with the wipes until they began to deteriorate. No more urine smell!

I just need until lunch time – when my friend and co-worker, ‘Blue’s Mom’, will return from her lunch break with a black shirt that I can wear. Luckily for me, she gets to go home and let her dog outside, where he will undoubtedly NOT URINATE on her clothes. I am so blessed to have such a charming little bitch at home. I use the term, bitch, in the appropriate sense.

Actually, there was a change of plans . . . I went to No Frills on break, bought some Tide, and hand washed my shirt in the break room sink. It is now hang drying in the cubicle at the end of my row. It is ultra dry in here and with any luck, the shirt will only be slightly damp by the time I leave for the second job!

My toothache is now a dull annoyance since I went to the new dentist last night and had my cracked filling replaced. My new dentist is very cordial. His hygienist is too – well, the one I met. The office has 6 or 8 dentists in it, so the others may not be as great. Still, Dr. Jace Williamson is an awesome dentist and he painlessly handled my tooth issue on short notice. And yes, for those of you who are already suspicious of my new found adoration for my dentist – he is very easy on the eyes. I definitely will enjoy my bi-annual teeth cleanings! Please do not confuse bi-annual (twice-yearly) with biennial (every two years). I love going to the dentist (even if they are not hot) and would not miss my 6-month cleanings ever!

In fact, I am going in for my 6 month cleaning TOMORROW!

PERSONAL NOTE: I love you. You are my refuge.

Eidetic Vision

Main Entry: ei·det·ic Pronunciation: I-'det-ik Function: adjective : marked by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual images - an eidetic memory Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.